Laughing Matters

Last weekend Professor Vandelanotte sent us a mail:

[WebCampus - LANGB204] Request for expressions of interest: possible excursion to Leuven this Wednesday on laughing matters

Dear all,

This message is intended primarily (but not necessarily exclusively) for students in the Dutch-English section, and is in fact more connected to the course in general linguistics than to the proficiency course (but since fewer people have so far registered for the former on WebCampus, I'm going with the latter now).

Now that the 'souper de cours' has been postponed to a later date, it becomes possible for you to consider joining me for an evening of laughter and merriment in Leuven this coming Wednesday -- or at least for an evening composed of an academic lecture on the topic of laughter and merriment, followed by an excellent film allowing you to put the theory amply into practice.

As part of its 'Laughing matters' programme, Cinemazed is organizing a talk by Geert Brône from the University of Leuven, this Wednesday at 6 pm (in Dutch), on the topic of 'Humortheorieën en humoronderzoek' [http://www.cinemazed.be/FILMS/FEBRUARI%2008/lezingbrone.shtm]. The link with the general linguistics course is obvious, since the last text we will read for this course is an article by Geert Brône on hyper- and misunderstanding in interactional humour (specifically in the sitcom Blackadder). His talk will be illustrated with examples from sitcoms and films, so it will not be a dry, impenetrable, boring talk at all.

At 8 pm (following a break, of course), the fun continues with the exceedingly hilarious film 'The Big Lebowski' [http://www.cinemazed.be/FILMS/FEBRUARI%2008/BIGLEBO.shtm], written by the world famous Coen brothers, and widely known in the English-speaking word [sic, SL] for the immortal quote "The Dude abides". See also [http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0118715/].

At such short notice this excursion (if it takes place at all) is of course not obligatory. However, if you're interested, it would involve taking the 4.21 train to Brussels, changing over at Ottignies for the 4.50 train to Leuven arriving at around 5.27. A brisk walk should get us to Cinemazed just in time. As for the return journey, the 10.33 train from Leuven would get you back to Namur by 11.39.

You would certainly have to pay for the train fare yourself (using your 'carte famille nombreuse' might just be cheaper than using up two gopass rides). As for the lecture and the film, depending on the interest I would try to get some free tickets for the talk and possibly see if the English Unit can sponsor tickets (which would cost 4 euros per activity for students).

Can I ask anyone who's interested to please let me know either by return of mail, by replying briefly to this e-mail, or at the latest on Monday, in real life.

Many thanks and best wishes,
L. Vandelanotte

--

Lieven VANDELANOTTE
Stylistique et maitrise de la langue anglaise II (Faculté de Philosophie et Lettres)
WebCampus

Since I'm always interested in excursions and opportunities to go somewhere else than Namur, I immediately told Professor Vandelanotte to count me in. I thought it would definitely be great fun to go to Leuven and watch The Big Lebowski: I had previously heard a lot of good reviews about the film on YouTube. Moreover, it was also an opportunity to attend a lecture on a branch of linguistic studies that is relatively unknown.

Actually only seven of us were willing to go there: Guillaume (BA3), Nolan and Pitchou (who went there by car), but also Bruno, Magali, Martin and myself. We took the train with Professor Vandelanotte, as you can see in the two pictures below.


In the above picture, we were trying to put the "cheese!" strategy into practice, as you can see. Nice effort, though!

Just before we arrive in Leuven, I took this photograph, because Professor Vandelanotte lives in this row of houses. Will you be able to guess which one it is?


From the station, we headed for the conference room, walking fast to be sure to arrive on time. (That was the "brisk walk" mentioned in the e-mail.) The talk began at 6.05 pm. Researcher Geert Brône made a brilliant speech about the history of laugh studies, from the Greek philosophers to the modern cognitive linguists. He also explained the different kinds of humour techniques and showed some funny stuff (a.o. the silly walk sketch by the Monty Python) in order to illustrate his sayings.

At 7.20, the talk ended and we went to the Market Place to find a chippie (or frietkot, as we say) and get some chips. At 8 o'clock the film began. Here's the five second version of the movie made by thatguywiththeglasses:



If you like swearwords, this video is for you: the f*cking short version:



The Big Lebowski is basically a story about the Dude (Jeff Bridges) and his friends, amongst whom Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) and Donny Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi).



The Dude abides, indeed!

"Pré-Bunker"

On 14 February, Bruno invited a bunch of friends and myself to go to his digs and eat spaghetti before going to the Bunker. (For those of you who wouldn't know what it is, let's say it's the Namur student ball room — but a disgusting version of it. According to one of our professors in the first year, it is a "lieu de perdition". He's right, in a sense, but he was probably referring to vets.)

Here are some pictures taken at Bruno's:


In the picture above, you can see, from left to right: Alexandre (obviously smiling due to the presence of a pack of beer in front of him), Bruno and Anne-Sophie. In the picture below, Magali drinks a can of beer while Marie is cooking for us all.

Sophie joined us a bit later, before we headed for the Bunker. Of course, I was also present (since I took the pictures ;-) ), and my girlfriend Elodie as well, but since she doesn't want to appear on blogs, I can't show you the picture I took of us. However, here are two pictures of me with my Muppet friend Martin, aka Waldorf:


This one was taken while trying to imitate Statler and Waldorf's faces. What a shameful result!


On the above picture, we were imitating monks — just because we felt like it. You sometimes have to act irrationally.

James Bond is no more: say hello to Tom Hanks

Here's a brilliant fake trailer made from a crossover between different films starring Tom Hanks, but also Bond movies:



This is definitely a piece of art.

Please watch the following video as well, a scene of an old James Bond (I don't know which one) with Sean Connery (James Bond) and the late Desmond Llewelyn (Q) that has been voiced over in French:



Silly, but funny. Why wouldn't you take a look at the Uncyclopedia entry on James Bond? (Actually, I've already featured it, but I mention it once more to make sure you read it.) The entry on the alphabet is worth the detour, too. That was just to make a reference to Q. By the way, the actor had a combover! Here's evidence of it:

Gotcha!

Some news from Kazakhstan

A video from Kazakhstan (Greatest country in the world) made its way through all of Eastern Europe to us thanks to YouTube: meet the man with the biggest nose ever:



Ok, this video comes from Turkey, actually.

If you like silly records, here's the world's biggest Mentos-Pepsi geyser:



Typically American!

Happy birthday to you, my blog!

Exactly one year after I started this blog — which was perhaps one of the most silly things to do when you shouldn't be wasting your time instead of studying — I decided it was high time to change this blog's lay out and colours. I had opened a poll a month ago, and here are the results on 24 February, round 11.55 pm:

Red	0 (0%)
Yellow	1 (1%)
Dark Green	0 (0%)
Dark blue	18 (33%)
Gray	0 (0%)
Orange	12 (22%)
Brown	0 (0%)
Black	9 (16%)
Light blue	5 (9%)
Light green	6 (11%)
Purple	2 (3%)

Number of voters up to now: 53

The poll is now officially closed, and, as a token of my good will towards you, readers, this blog will be from now on predominantly dark blue with a bit of orange and black. Maybe it's gonna be ugly, but it will be your fault!

Exactly one year after I started this blog, I also thought it was a good opportunity to give you some statistics. Since 24 February 2008, I wrote 386, that is 1,06 blog entry each day (because in the very first months, I posted more than one article a day) even if I wasn't able to write one each day — which was originally my goal — due to exams and holidays.

In just one year, I used not less than 659 different labels, most of which were used only once (e.g. Academy Awards (1) [but I think I'll use it very soon] or iPhone (1) [surprisingly enough]). Now, here are the labels I used the most during one year:

1. Silly (252)
   
2. YouTube (231)
3. Star Wars (69)
4. Parody (55)
5. Combover (30)
6. Picture (30)
7. Car (26)
8. Darth Vader (26)
9. USA (22)
10. Song (20)
11. Namur (19)
12. Cartoon (18)
13. Alternate Ending (17)
14. Dubbing (16)
15. Jeremy Clarkson (16)
16. Movies (16)
17. Episode V (15)
18. guywiththeglasses (15)
19. LOTR (15)
20. Series (15)
21. University (15)
22. School Trip (14)
23. Uncyclopedia (14)
24. Accident (13)
25. Dutch (13)
26. Simpsons (13)
27. Trailer (13)
28. Belgium (12)
29. Crappy (12)
30. Flanders (12)
31. Politics (12)
32. Christmas (11)
33. English (11)
34. Episode IV (11)
35. Translation (11)
36. Yoda (11)
37. Britcom (10)
38. Brussels (10)
39. BTTF (10)
40. Cat (10)
41. Destruction (10)
42. France (10)
43. Holiday (10)
44. Paris (10)

So, basically, I like writing about silly Star Wars parodies on YouTube, preferably featuring a guy with a combover… Of course, such a combination has ever occurred — I mean, the combover thing in Star Wars… But let's do it today, then!

I looked up such a combination in YouTube, but it didn't work. Instead, I can give you videos that I could label as silly, or having to do with Star Wars, etc.

Silly + Star Wars + YouTube:



This guy is a complete retard, a nerd, a pillock, a dumbass, a [please insert an insult here]! The Bible isn't a truer story than the Star Wars saga!

Silly + Combover (these labels always go hand in hand) + YouTube



Silly + Combover + Picture:


I bet he won't be happy with such a defamatory act! Otherwise, Big Brother (aka the KGB) is gonna grab me:

(This is a spoof on KFC, Kentucky Fried Chicken, the well-known fast food outlets.)

Silly + Picture + Uncyclopedia:

(This comes from the Napoleon page.)

That's all for today. Let's see what will have happened in a year's time!

Be Kind, Rewind

Here's the trailer of what seems to be a very promising comedy movie, Be Kind, Rewind, starring Jack Black (whom you might have seen in Mars Attacks! and King Kong) Basically, the plot revolves around a guy who's "magnetized" and caused all the tapes of his shop to be erased. In order to avoid bankrupt, together with his fellow shop assistant, he's going to make brand-new (very) cheap versions of the movies, which will of course be shorter. But it'll work perfectly!



Re-shooting a film in such a way is apparently called "sweding", a neologism that's likely to be taken up by many people in the future.



Even the trailer got sweded:



Frenchies! (Well, the director, Michel Gondry, is a Frenchman.) This version is even cheaper as the original movie itself! Don't forget to check out the official website.

You're Only Second Rate

When I was younger, I used to watch Disney movies all the time. Among those, The Return of Jafar, sequel of Aladdin. My point here was to show you one of my favourite songs, Tu n'es qu'un amateur, but first it would be better to watch the original version, sung by Jonathan Freeman, voice of Jafar:



Lyrics:

I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing
I bet you've got a bunny under your hat
Now here's your chance to get the best of me
Hope your hand is hot
C'mon, clown, let's see what you've got
You try to slam me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I'll set the record straight
You're simply out of date
You're only second rate!

You think your cat's a meanie, but your tiger's tame
You've got a lot to learn about the genie game
So for your education I'll reiterate
You're only second rate!

Men cower at the power in my pinky
My thumb is number one on every list
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a great escape
It's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate!
You know, your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate upon your sorry state
You're only second rate!

Zaba-caba-dabra!
Granny's gonna grab ya!
Alakazam-da-mus
And this thing's bigger than the both of us
So spare me your tremendous scare
You look horrendous in your underwear
And I can hardly wait to discombobulate
I'll send ya back and packing in a shipping crate
You'd make a better living with a spinning plate
You're only second rate!

And now, here's the French version, Tu n'es qu'un amateur. The Genie's French voice is performed by the famous Richard Darbois, and Féodor Atkine (incidentally, he dubs Hugh Laurie in the series House, MD) dubs Jafar:



Lyrics:

Je dois admettre que tes p'tits tours sont amusants
J' parie qu'il y a un lapin sous ton chapeau
Mais aujourd'hui, ton mauvais numéro,
Je le vois perdant
Vas-y clown, montre-moi tes cartes.

Tu voudrais me faire retourner en enfer
Mais ta guerre éclair, je la réverbère.
Ta folie des grandeurs
N'est pas à la hauteur,
Tu n'es qu'un amateur.

Tu t' prends pour un tigre
Mais je t'amadoue.
Par les mathématigres,
Je matte les matous.
Ta folie des grandeurs
N'est pas à la hauteur,
Tu n'es qu'un amateur.

Quel effroi, quand je lève le petit doigt,
Quelle frousse que j' vous écrase tous d'un coup de pouce,
Si tu es convaincu
De rester invaincu,
Faut en faire ton deuil,
Notre duel continue jusqu'au cercueil.

Étonne-moi !
Branche-moi !
Électrocute-moi !
Au fond d'un tonneau
Percé de couteaux,
Je sauverai ma peau.
Ça n' sera pas du gâteau
Mais je l' ferai, mon poteau.

Tes p'tits tours de passe-passe
Sont pas très efficaces.
Tu n'es qu'un orgueilleux
Qui se prend pour un dieu
Ta folie des grandeurs
N'est pas à la hauteur,
Tu n'es qu'un amateur.

Zabacabadabra
Grand-mère t'attrapera
Et Abracadabra,
J' suis plus grand que l'Himalaya

Tu peux donc trembler devant moi
Sans perdre le bas de ton pyjama
Et si dans la panique,
Tu casses ta mécanique,
Ne me dis pas sans cesse,
Quand tu passes à la caisse :
"J'ai perdu, çà m'inquiète !",
"J' comprends pas, çà m'embête !",
"J' suis pas dans mon assiette !"

Such a song translation must be particularly difficult, because you have to take into account not only the usual features (prosody, rhymes, wordplays), but also the shots themselves, e.g. when you have "It's just a piece of cake", you see the cake, and in French it's rendered as "Ce n's'ra pas du gâteau".

Y.O.D.A.

The Village People's song YMCA was spoofed into Y.O.D.A. Here are two versions I found on YouTube, but unfortunately they're not of good quality, nor are they the full versions.



I promised the other day I'd show you a parody song made by Weird Al Yankovic, so here it is: "Yoda", a parody of Lola, by the Kinks, a famous British pop group.

Lola:



Yoda:



And here are the lyrics if you feel like singing them:

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S-O-D-A, soda

I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him for his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda"
Y-O-D-A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a Muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I left home just a week before
And I've never ever been a Jedi before
But Obi-Wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force"

Well I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again
With my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

So I used the Force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While I stood on my head
but, I won't forget what Yoda said

He said, "Luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide"
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

"I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed"
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda I guess
But I know that I'll be coming back some day
I'll be playing this part 'till I'm old and gray

The long-term contract I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Oh with my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda speaks German

Please watch this scene of the first encounter between Yoda and Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back. Why do I want you to do that? Because I find it funny. As simple as that.



Yoda's got a really weird voice, I think, but it's funny to listen to. (Just like the Heat scene dubbed in German that I posted the other day.)

Indiana Jones IV: the trailer

The first official trailer of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has finally been released, and you have to check it out:



This film sounds great, even though the government warehouse scene seems a little bit weird… I fear that the movie relies too much on computer-generated special effects, but still, this episode is likely to be terrific, making references to the first three films. I'm looking forward to watching it on a big screen!

If you want to watch the trailer in high resolution, go and check out the official website.

Graham Chapman's obituary by John Cleese

Here's John Cleese's speech at the funeral of his fellow Graham Chapman. Both comedians were part of the Monty Python group.



What a nerve!

If you want to have a good laugh today, watch this sketch:



This was part of a "how to irritate people" circle.

When Al meets Robert

Heat is an action film starring two of the most popular movie stars ever: Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro. Both had already played in the same film, but never appeared in the same scene. Such a weird configuration occurred in The Godfather II (by Francis Ford Coppola): Pacino played Michael Corleone, head of the New York mafia, and DeNiro played his father Vito Corleone/Andolini in several flashback scenes showing his arrival in the Big Apple and his rise to power, acquiring the prominent function of Godfather. (Trivia: ote that DeNiro and Marlon Brando — who portrayed the older Vito Corleone in The Godfather are the only two actors who won an Oscar for playing the same character.)

I don't remember the story of Heat, but at some point the characters played by Pacino and DeNiro meet in a restaurant to talk about something. The point is that this scene was made into a spoof by the same guy who did the brilliant parody of the "Indy meets his father" scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (I refer you to that earlier post). The result of a clever "re-subb" of the scene is a death match to decide who's the best actor:



Five stars!

Pics' art

Today, let me show you a series of silly photographs I found on the Internet. Let's start — for a change — with those I found on Uncyclopedia:

Close Encounters of the Third Reich:


Who can deny that Man is descended from apes?


Strange coincidence, isn't it?

This is a clever boy!


See, I told you he was evil!

This would have ruined his authority, back then:


Some of you are familiar with these signs, seen in the periphery of Brussels:

(Source: Brio.)

"How did you get up there?"
"I fell!"


This one is probably a fake one, though:


Brilliant:

"Are you having a laugh?"

This is evidence that birds cannot read (or, at least, interpret symbols):


And dogs as well.

eBay

I'm currently preparing a blog entry with parody stuff about Yoda (one of my favourite Star Wars characters) and since one of those spoofs was made by Weird Al Yankovic, I thought I could feature another song of him. This one describes quite cleverly eBay, the best-know website for selling things you don't need anymore. (That's better than a bonfire, as they do in Little Britain.)



Lyrics:

A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snowglobe
A Smurf ... TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupée)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy ... your Nik Naks
Just check ... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy ... your tchotchkes
Sell me ... your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)
I'm highest bidder now

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)

Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)

Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)

What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y

This parody song was a spoof on I want it that way, by the Backstreet Boys. (I admit I didn't know that. I hardly know anything about popular music, actually. Poor me!) Here's the video if you want to compare:

Happy Valentine!

Bail Bailey is not only a succesful British comedian (I refer you to what I told you about Black Books, but also a gifted singer. Listen to his love song:



Ok, the end is not so happy, but I like the tune, though. Here's my favourite love music, namely Across the Stars, the love theme written by John Williams for Star Wars Episode II and Episode III.



The following video is dedicated to all the Germanists from Namur who had to study some fragments from Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, for Bill Bailey is going to tell a joke in Middle English style, the "Pubbe Gagge":



That's a pretty good imitation of Chaucer's style and prosody, I think! If you want to watch a version in which he declaims much quicker, please click here — there's just a slight sound problem.

Polonez

Apparently, the Ladas aren't the only crappy cars built in Eastern Europe, as our fellow Jeremy Clarkson will show you:



Uncyclopedia's featured article: Jeremy Clarkson, of course!

20

Today I wanted to check which videos were related to the number 20. (Some of you know why I'm referring to this number precisely today; if not, read my profile and you'll figure it out.) At first sight there were quite boring videos, but the following one caught my attention: the 20 worst football misses (i.e. when you have the opportunity to score but you lamentably fail).



And a related video: not 20, but just 10 terrible goalkeeping blunders (with Chinese commentary):



Poor chaps!

Star Ads

Here's a spoof on those MasterCard commercials ("There are things money can't buy" and such) but applied to Star Wars:



M&Ms gave itself to the Dark Side:



Brilliant! I wanted to show you a commercial with C3PO and R2D2 in a moralistic message against smoking, but as embedding was disabled, just click here to watch the video.

And to conclude, we see that Yoda is addicted to Pepsi, but just like Marty McFly in Back to the Future, the green creature doesn't get a Pepsi free…

Simpson, MD

Compare:

ORIGINAL



PARODY



Funny, wasn't it?

When Harrison meets Sean

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is scheduled for release on 22 May (and since that day I will probably have an exam, I won't be able to go and see it at the cinema! Grr!) and millions of fans (amongst whom your humble servant) are eagerly looking forward to it. No official trailer has yet been released, but I think it will soon. One thing is for sure, Sir Sean Connery won't appear in the movie:

Sean Connery turned down making a cameo appearance as Henry Jones, Sr., finding retirement too enjoyable.^[1] Lucas stated that in hindsight it was good that Connery did not briefly appear, as it would disappoint the audience when his character would not come along for the film's adventure.^[2]

But who can tell whether the producers actually attempted everything to get Sean Connery back, for instance (say) with Harrison Ford visiting him in his castle in Scotland:



"This was a priceless vase from the Ming dynasty. A gift from my wife too…"
"We put everything on hold to find you."
"It must have cost millions!"
"You're worth it, though, Sean."
"I don't believe my eyes: it's from Wal-Mart! You can tell from the inscription here: Wal-Mart!"
"No! I could have get you a refund!"

[…]

"Goldfinger! A remake! It was always my favourite one… Pussy galore, here I come…"
"Of course, you will have to look out your wig again."
"It's a small price to pay for this role…"
"And there will be stunt doubles for the sex scenes."
"Stunt double!"
"Well, we can't take any chance with you what with your age and such."
"I'll manage fine myself!"
"Really!"
"I've never had any problems in that department and I'm not gonna now…"
"Whatever."

[…]
"You're too old!"
"Too old? I had an Aston Martin with ejector seats!"
"Yeah, and now you have a bus pass!"
"Watch it! I'm not too old to kick your ass!"

This idea of writing subtitles on a foreign version is brilliant! Of course, it works better if you don't know the language at all, because if it were in French, we'd have to turn the volume off.

And an alternate ending for the third film:



And because I love the French version, here's one of my favourite scenes, namely that of the plane escaping the Germans:



— Qu'est-ce qui se passe à 11 heures ???

(…)

— Il me semble que ces gens essaient de nous tuer !
— Je sais, père !
— C'est une nouvelle expérience pour moi !
— Moi, ça m'arrive tout le temps.

(…)
— Mais c'est intolérable !

Dubbing voices:
– Harrison Ford: Richard Darbois
– Sean Connery: Jean-Claude Michel

Idiots of the Year

Many people get awards for their performances in their disciplines and areas of expertise, but we often forget those idiots who do silly things and never get such things as a prize. Here are final contestants to the title of Idiot of the Year:









I like that grandma's face when she gets pulled…

"Horns!" (Oliver Hardy)

Some chap's got a very silly idea: using a train horn instead of his normal horn and see how people react to it:




Typically American!

Solving a Rubik's cube

I already find it difficult to solve a Rubik's cube by hand, but developing a programme so that a Lego Minstorm robot solves it is even more difficult. But some genius managed to do that:



Just as the Lego Minstorm gumball sorter, this is totally useless but particularily well done.

Wait, that was just a 3x3x3 cube. Let's now watch how it's possible to solve a 20x20x20 cube:



(I love the comment at the end.)

And there's an even more crazy guy who handled the solving of a 100x100x100 cube:



"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!"
— Homer Simpson

Ads, ads, ads

Prison bièsse:



Brilliant!

The following one is probably a fake one, given the incorrect spelling of whose at the end. Thanks to Mr Romero for sharing this with us last year.



That's a shame this is not a real commercial. Quite the contrary, this one is real. (Once again, many thanks to Mr Romero.)



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Disneyland.

Shame on Him! Quinquidecies: John McCain

Yeah, that's right, I noticed the obvious: John McCain, leading Republican canditate to the presidence of the United States, has a combover! Look at these pictures:



If he were elected — which I hope not — he would be the combover president. But that would make a perfect motive for mocking him. (I don't know if there were presidents with a combover in the past; I have to check it out.) It's curious that, unlike Ehud Olmert (remember), no-one from his communication experts team told him to cut that combover…

On his website, I noticed an article that briefly mentions his combover:

Boston Herald: Rock-Solid McCain Hitting His Granite State Stride

By Peter Gelzinis, The Boston Herald
January 8, 2008

John McCain may be old, but unlike Willard Mitt Romney, he's real. He's human.

In these final hours leading up to the New Hampshire primary, we've been reminded that humanity - and the sense of character that comes with it - will always transcend age.

At 71, with all his scars and age spots, McCain still looks a helluva [i.e. one hell of a, SL] lot more vibrant than the perfect political mannequin who, for a cup of coffee, was our governor.

McCain's got a snow white comb-over and arms shortened by torture. In khakis and a cardigan, he looks more like a retired police captain than a Ralph Lauren model. Yet the old man who's been given up for dead several times in his life, as well as this campaign, is poised to walk away with a victory that was supposed to belong to the dreamboat from just over the border. How could this happen?

I thought that the combover was already a kind of self-imposed torture, though…

Anyway, it's not here in Belgium that we're gonna see politicians arguing they're better than others just because s/he took part in a war… (I know it seems silly from our European point of view, but since in the USA there has always been some war going on…) Long live Belgium!

PS. Please have a look on the Uncyclopedia entry on John McCain.

Blind Date…

… with our Happy Tree Friends, of course!



And even Andy from Little Britain has got a blind date as well:

Highway Havoc

Some eighty years ago, here's what made people laugh:





Admit that now, too, you can still find it funny, even though it has no sound track nor sound effects. Laurel and Hardy were damn good!

This clip is my father's favourite.

Shame on him! Quaterdecies: unknown guy

It has been quite a while since the last time I featured something related to combovers. Today, I found this worth-watching video:



The guy isn't even ashamed to be filmed!

Uncyclopedia unfortunately has no entry on combovers, but does have one on toupees and mullets. They're worth the detour, as shows this picture:


Wicked awesome, isn't it? Read the un-definition (which is, after all, not that un at all):

A Mullet is a very popular style of hair, predominant across North America, but also found in Europe, Australia and South America. It is characterized by the famous saying "Business in the front; party in the back!", although this has often mistakenly been thought to mean strip clubs instead. The mullet is equally popular with both sexes, as well as some apes, earning it the alternate name: "ape drape".

Impressions on my exams: second and last part

As I promised, here follows the rest of my glimpse on my January exams.

My third exam was Grammaire normative néerlandaise, that is to say an exam on the whole book De regels van het Nederlands that we had been working on for a year and a half. This exam took place on Saturday 12 January, on the really same day as the first year students. (In fact, since I was in charge of establishing the timetables for the exams, I thought it would be more convenient for Mrs Hendrix to come just once for both years. Moreover, it was most suitable for us as to the sequence and spacing of of exams.) Second-year students were asked to enter the lecture room in the first place — one of the few advantages of being older — and then the first-year students. Once everyone was seated, we could stard. First, there was a series of fill-in questions that were quite easy, even if I had second thoughts about it after the exam. Second, twenty MCQs, some of which were written in a sadistic manner. I was confident about 75% of the answers, though. After the exam, while I was discussing my answers with fellow students, I realized that I had made big mistakes, but not too much. On the whole, I thought I would get 15.

As a special treat, Mrs Hendrix told me via e-mail that I got 16/20 for this exam. Quite rejoicing!

Two days and a half later (or three, for some people who had chosen to take the exam on Wednesday), it was time to go and see Mrs Leijnse to be tested orally on the course Histoire de la littérature néerlandaise II. Like in June, I was wearing my black suit, with a black shirt and a black tie. Just two students preceeded me that day, but there was already a ten-minute delay… Anyway, the moment finally came when I received three sheets with a question each of them. I went to the English literature seminar in order to write down the outline of the answer I would give once I would be in front of her. Normally, I should have had just 20 minutes to prepare that, but since Anne-Sophie (who was just before me) was apparently talking and talking, in the end I got more than 25 minutes — which allowed me to write detailed answers, and even to get bored because I didn't know what to write.

Mrs Leijnse eventually came to ask me to go to her office. I sat down and I started answering my questions:

1. [On the basis of a fragment from the epistolary novel Julia by Reijnvis Feith] Who wrote this text? What are the features? To which kind of writings does this belong?
   
2. [On the basis of a sheet with three poems by Van Schaick] Who wrote those poems? Who influenced him? What are the features of his style and the genre of poetry he wrote? What does it tell us about colonialism?
   
3. [On the basis of a poem by Guido Gezelle] Who wrote this poem? What are the characteristics of this poem? // Make a short survey of the "taalkwestie" in Belgium at the beginning of the 19th century.
   

I answered all the questions, making parallels with the other works I knew, their characteristics, the stories, the historical events, and so on. On the whole, I thought I did that exam very well. In fact, I had a better feeling about it than last year: when I took the exam, I was totally exhausted due to the fact that I had been studying philosophy for a week, and that after that I hadn't slept much, resulting in a poor pronunciation… But still, my answers were good, for I got 18 that time. And I also got 18 this time.

The last exam was a written one. It was to last for 5 hours! In fact, it was a twofold exam, the first part being a one-hour closed book exam on Charles Barber's book The History of the English language (very interesting by the way) which we were assigned to read and understand thouroughly in order to answer relatively short questions about it. (We had received a sheet with a list of questions, some of which would be asked at the exam, in order to have guidelines in our reading.) The second part was a four-hour open book exam on Pr. Vandelanotte's course notes about clause complex vs. clause simplex, STR (speech or thought representation, his area of expertise and PhD thesis subject – or I should say: "free indirect speech or thought representation"), and verbal processes.

I had to study the course in less than three days, which was quite a kerfuffle. Understanding the theory about chapters 1 and 3 was quite easy, since I had already go the idea behind the theory during the lectures. But as to chapter 2, I have to admit that I had hardly understood anything when Pr. Vandelanotte discussed it in class. At that time, I was more concerned about the fact that one can be so fascinated by such an abstract matter… But I guess it must be like that for any academic study. (You tell me, Professor.)

I worked very hard on that chapter and I managed to get the point of the four false assumptions about STR, even though I had difficulty finding good criteria to make the difference between free indirect speech (FIST) and distancing indirect speech (DIST). Basically, it had something to do with the degree of intervention of the narrator and the use of pronouns, but I didn't know how I'd explain that on my exam sheets… But since it was an open-book exam, I felt a little bit more comfortable and confident.

The exam took place and the first part was really easy: I had read the book two times in detail, making notes and studying them. After that, we had one hour for lunch (a good sandwich filled with a thick layer of "filet américain" is the best way to feed me in such circumstances). After that, we started what appeared to me to be the most difficult exam of my life. It would be too long to tell everything in detail, so I give you now just a couple of impressions. The first question was outrageously more simple than I thought: there were many clauses simplex (hence no need for analysis) and the few in the category "clause complex" were not as complicated as in the syllabus, except for one that was outrageously difficult, with a lot of subordinated clauses and everything. I read the second question, but my brain sent me a signal like those "ERROR 404" messages… I moved on to the last question. I filled boxes with the appropriate verbal processes and participants plus circumstances (if any) quite quickly, then I wrote a short text about the conclusions I could draw from such an analysis of verbal processes. That done, I had about two hours left to answer the second question, consisting in making the difference between types of reported speech in two given excerpts. However, I can't tell you a lot, for it's like a giant black hole in my memory. On the moment, I managed to fetch several arguments in the syllabus in favour of my analysis, but I don't know how I managed to do it right…

I was quite disappointed after my exam: I felt that my answers weren't really good and lacked precision… Nevertheless, I got 18 out of 20 for this exam. And I don't know how such a thing is possible. I'm looking forward to seeing my exam!



In conclusion, these two weeks (and a half) of exams was really exhausting, but my efforts were rewarded. Let's hope I can still work like that in June!