Silly Belgian humour, featuring Patrick Alen, aka Francis Joskin, lead singer of Liège rock band Les Gauff' au suc'.
The New Yorker cartoons
7 years ago
Showing posts with label Belgium. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Belgium. Show all posts
3/01/2009
2/02/2009
Jeremy Clarkson meets the neighbours…
… and goes to Belgium to witness pipe-smoking competitions, bird-singing contests and bets on cow defecation, and then to the Netherlands to plunge into the sex business, meet Bible zealots, admire a league against speed cameras and investigate the Dutch love for caravans…
11/14/2008
9/04/2008
First day in Utrecht
Today I'd like to tell you about my first day in Utrecht — enjoy! (because I don't)
Yesterday it was high time I left Belgium to go to the Netherlands, more particularily to the city of Utrecht, where I'm supposed to spend the next five months as part of the Erasmus programme. Unfortunately I still haven't found a room, so my good classmate Magali, who's also staying in Utrecht, kindly invited me to spend a couple of days at her room.
So I left my beloved country round 9.30 with my mother. It took us roughly two and a half hours to get there and find a parking lot in the city centre. Then we looked for the building where I was to have an appointment with a study advisor who wanted to assess my proficiency in Dutch. We met Magali by chance near the Dom (a huge cathedral). We walked to the local KFC (fastfood outlet) to regenerate ourselves and then we headed for the aforementioned office. The study advisor received us at the same time because she understood that we were from the same university. We talked about our past courses in Dutch and things like that. Thanks to her we are now allowed to take a course that had been deleted for exchange students, but a bit later we were sent a confirmation e-mail by the professor, linking to a personal page and then we realized we should perhaps have picked another course… (Go to this address to witness the full boredom of this course.)
After this appointment we went to Zeist, where Magali's room is located. With me I only had clothes etc. for about 20 days, my student files, my laptop and a green camp bed. (I'm really far from the comfort I had in Namur… *Sighs*) My mother took the car and went back to Belgium — I wish I was with her. Honestly. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Stay. In. Utrecht. My first choice to go on an Erasmus trip was Leuven because it's the best Belgian university, as far as I know, and I thought I'd be sent there thanks to my good marks. Apparently the professors were thinking they were doing me a favour by sending me to Utrecht — I'm now fully disappointed with them. Not having a place to live is awful. I feel empathy for bums.
I'd like to make an ultimatum: if I still don't have a room on 13 September, I'm going back to Belgium, no matter what the (financial, academic…) consequences could be. I really hate saying that, but I'm really sick and tired of this Dutch system to find a room: you have to send an e-mail (which isn't free of charge at all) to the owner, who will then contact you if and only if he/she likes your face and your profile. Unfortunately this was hardly the case for me, but I managed to get two positive reactions out of the 35 e-mails that I sent:
Back to my first day here.
In the evening Magali and I went to the Zeist city centre to have lunch (roasted turkey under a thick layer of a disgusting brownish spicy sauce) and then we walked a bit, before taking the bus. We then had an awful time finding the right bus stop to get out (because it was completely dark) and the building where we're staying.
Anyway… I'm really desperate, even if the social activities we've been talked about today are great, but I won't fully enjoy them as long as I don't have a room.
Wish me luck!
Yesterday it was high time I left Belgium to go to the Netherlands, more particularily to the city of Utrecht, where I'm supposed to spend the next five months as part of the Erasmus programme. Unfortunately I still haven't found a room, so my good classmate Magali, who's also staying in Utrecht, kindly invited me to spend a couple of days at her room.
So I left my beloved country round 9.30 with my mother. It took us roughly two and a half hours to get there and find a parking lot in the city centre. Then we looked for the building where I was to have an appointment with a study advisor who wanted to assess my proficiency in Dutch. We met Magali by chance near the Dom (a huge cathedral). We walked to the local KFC (fastfood outlet) to regenerate ourselves and then we headed for the aforementioned office. The study advisor received us at the same time because she understood that we were from the same university. We talked about our past courses in Dutch and things like that. Thanks to her we are now allowed to take a course that had been deleted for exchange students, but a bit later we were sent a confirmation e-mail by the professor, linking to a personal page and then we realized we should perhaps have picked another course… (Go to this address to witness the full boredom of this course.)
After this appointment we went to Zeist, where Magali's room is located. With me I only had clothes etc. for about 20 days, my student files, my laptop and a green camp bed. (I'm really far from the comfort I had in Namur… *Sighs*) My mother took the car and went back to Belgium — I wish I was with her. Honestly. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Stay. In. Utrecht. My first choice to go on an Erasmus trip was Leuven because it's the best Belgian university, as far as I know, and I thought I'd be sent there thanks to my good marks. Apparently the professors were thinking they were doing me a favour by sending me to Utrecht — I'm now fully disappointed with them. Not having a place to live is awful. I feel empathy for bums.
I'd like to make an ultimatum: if I still don't have a room on 13 September, I'm going back to Belgium, no matter what the (financial, academic…) consequences could be. I really hate saying that, but I'm really sick and tired of this Dutch system to find a room: you have to send an e-mail (which isn't free of charge at all) to the owner, who will then contact you if and only if he/she likes your face and your profile. Unfortunately this was hardly the case for me, but I managed to get two positive reactions out of the 35 e-mails that I sent:
- The first room available was located in Wijk bij Duurstede, at 25 km from Utrecht. Unfortunately the room was really a pigsty (e.g. one of the dogs peed on the floor and the owner considered this normal) and far too expensive for what it was, given all the sanitary issues…
- The second room that I got to see was located in Overvecht, nearby a nice shopping mall. The room and the flatmates were great but… they turned me down and chose an Italian exchange student instead, probably because he could cook them Italian dishes or something — I admit not having fully understood what the owner told me on the phone.
Back to my first day here.
In the evening Magali and I went to the Zeist city centre to have lunch (roasted turkey under a thick layer of a disgusting brownish spicy sauce) and then we walked a bit, before taking the bus. We then had an awful time finding the right bus stop to get out (because it was completely dark) and the building where we're staying.
Anyway… I'm really desperate, even if the social activities we've been talked about today are great, but I won't fully enjoy them as long as I don't have a room.
Wish me luck!
7/21/2008
National Day
Just like last year (and actually like in 2004, 2005 and 2006) I went to Brussels with my brother to take part to the Belgian National Day celebrations. This time we took the car to get there, but it was quite difficult to find a proper parking lot, because it was forbidden to park in a lot of streets for "security reasons", I suppose. My brother and I walked to the Cathedral, where a so-called te deum mass was taking place; the majority of important politicians, magistrates, judges, ambassadors and some members of the royal family were attending the ceremony. On the following picture, you can see the Prime Minister's car (A.2) and Mr Reynders's car (A.3). (Incidentally, A.1 belongs to the president of the Chamber of Representatives, i.e. Herman Van Rompuy.)
In front of the Cathedral lots of pro-Belgium, pro-monarchy people were waiting for the King to appear, shouting "Vive le Roi !". Curiously I didn't hear the same slogan in Dutch. However, "België best" (instead of the nationalistic "België barst") was embroided on a flag. There were more people than last year, as I can recall.
The King, the Queen and their sister-in-law Queen Fabiola got out of the Cathedral and got in their luxury cars. (I found that quite unfortunate, since King Albert II complained about poverty in his semi-annual speech the very day before. He was saying that we (i.e. not him) had to make an effort to help people who are in need. My first reaction was to say that he could spend his own money on that, because His Majesty's fortune is one of the biggest in Europe.) The cars were preceded by a hundred of splendid horses.
After that I walked with my brother to the Place Jourdan where the famous "Friterie Antoine" is located. We bought chips (2,20 € for a pack) and we ate them in the park just next to the European Parliament and the Institute of Natural Sciences. Then we walked in the streets of Ixelles/Elsene before we slowly got to the heart of the city, finally reaching the Court Hall where the police had installed all sorts of stands promoting their administration. Here's a photograph taken from the Court Hall, showing you that a bad spell of weather was coming.
We continued our walk through Brussels, passing in front of the well-known Manneken Pis (wearing the same awful clothes as last year), then we strolled on the Grand Place.
After that, we wanted to get to the Belgian Parliament, in order to visit it for the fourth time, but there were so many people on the Rue de la Loi / Wetstraat due to the military parade that it was impossible to get to the Parliament, let alone all those umbrellas! (By the way, it was the first time in five years that it was raining.)
So we gave up, swearing that we would get back next year, unless Belgium doesn't exist anymore.
Note: you can also read my account on last year's excursion in Brussels; there are some interesting parallels. Some things changed, like the price of a pack of chips: 2,20 € instead of 2,10 €, while potatoes are cheaper than last year!
I was especially surprised by the accurateness of a prediction I had made: "Nous sommes passés devant le Ministère (non, SPF) de la Défense, où André Flahaut, à l’entrée, un verre de champagne à la main, accueillait pour la dernière fois ses généraux et autres chefs d’état-major." Indeed, we know that Mr Flahaut (Parti Socialiste) has been replaced by Mr De Crem (Christen-Democratisch & Vlaams) and that the latter's politics are far from being as liberal as that of his predecessor. As a result, there was no party for army officials in front of the Ministery! Generals and other that scum "working" in headquarters must regret Mr Flahaut and his soft politics that made of the Belgian army an amusement park.
In front of the Cathedral lots of pro-Belgium, pro-monarchy people were waiting for the King to appear, shouting "Vive le Roi !". Curiously I didn't hear the same slogan in Dutch. However, "België best" (instead of the nationalistic "België barst") was embroided on a flag. There were more people than last year, as I can recall.
The King, the Queen and their sister-in-law Queen Fabiola got out of the Cathedral and got in their luxury cars. (I found that quite unfortunate, since King Albert II complained about poverty in his semi-annual speech the very day before. He was saying that we (i.e. not him) had to make an effort to help people who are in need. My first reaction was to say that he could spend his own money on that, because His Majesty's fortune is one of the biggest in Europe.) The cars were preceded by a hundred of splendid horses.
After that I walked with my brother to the Place Jourdan where the famous "Friterie Antoine" is located. We bought chips (2,20 € for a pack) and we ate them in the park just next to the European Parliament and the Institute of Natural Sciences. Then we walked in the streets of Ixelles/Elsene before we slowly got to the heart of the city, finally reaching the Court Hall where the police had installed all sorts of stands promoting their administration. Here's a photograph taken from the Court Hall, showing you that a bad spell of weather was coming.
We continued our walk through Brussels, passing in front of the well-known Manneken Pis (wearing the same awful clothes as last year), then we strolled on the Grand Place.
After that, we wanted to get to the Belgian Parliament, in order to visit it for the fourth time, but there were so many people on the Rue de la Loi / Wetstraat due to the military parade that it was impossible to get to the Parliament, let alone all those umbrellas! (By the way, it was the first time in five years that it was raining.)
So we gave up, swearing that we would get back next year, unless Belgium doesn't exist anymore.
Note: you can also read my account on last year's excursion in Brussels; there are some interesting parallels. Some things changed, like the price of a pack of chips: 2,20 € instead of 2,10 €, while potatoes are cheaper than last year!
I was especially surprised by the accurateness of a prediction I had made: "Nous sommes passés devant le Ministère (non, SPF) de la Défense, où André Flahaut, à l’entrée, un verre de champagne à la main, accueillait pour la dernière fois ses généraux et autres chefs d’état-major." Indeed, we know that Mr Flahaut (Parti Socialiste) has been replaced by Mr De Crem (Christen-Democratisch & Vlaams) and that the latter's politics are far from being as liberal as that of his predecessor. As a result, there was no party for army officials in front of the Ministery! Generals and other that scum "working" in headquarters must regret Mr Flahaut and his soft politics that made of the Belgian army an amusement park.
7/10/2008
Back to the… past (for a change) – Part III: Stay at the seaside
What can I tell you that's worth sharing about my holiday in my favourite coastal town?
First I arrived there on 30 June, in the evening. We went there by car, my parents were just staying that night because they had to take care of Curtis (our cat) the following days. From 1 July to 6 July I rode my bicycle with my uncle and my brother on the smooth and safe coastal roads, and it was great fun: 300 km in total. I could have ridden a little bit more if there had been less wind and rain.
Apart from that, I saw a dozen of new Belgian licence plates, i.e. three digits preceding three letters, such as:
This one was the very first one I saw, hence the picture. Such plates are given out by the DIV (Direction pour l'Immatriculation des Véhicules / Dients voor de Inschrijving van de Voertuigen) since 25 June, but just for car owners that apply for a plate via the Internet. Plates with the now older code (e.g. YRJ-983, the newest plate I've seen so far) are still issued in local DIV offices. If, like me, you prefer that older code, you know what to do if you want to get one. I'll tell you more about these new plates in a forthcoming blog entry.
On 4 July (Independence Day, I know) my brother and I decided to go to Knokke. In Zeebrugge we got to see this amazingly huge ship:
We couldn't resist going to the "Place M'as-tu-vu" (as we nickname it, instead of Place Albert) and act as chavs in the middle of obviously rich people wearing white trousers and shirts with awful pink stripes. We ate a "Luikse wafel" and made silly comments about the city. I was surprised by the number of vanity plates I had seen, e.g. SAY·007, IJS-101, GRA-004, TM-865, OOO-200, RAP-001, BOB-004, etc. "Spekje voor m'n bekje", as I can recall from Konnex.
Notice the yellow stickers with a Flemish lion on both our bikes…
We also saw an old Russian submarine that we visited some ten years ago in Zeebrugge harbour. Admire this symbol of the communist warefare!
Another day, I saw this interesting vanity plate:
Maybe the owner works for Toys'r us or something…
An interesting photo for trainspotters: 78 + 13 + 16 (these numbers representing the locomotive's type, or, as we say, the "series").
Well that's about all I have to tell about my trip. I'm already looking forward to my next stay at the Belgian (or should I say "Flemish"?) seaside.
First I arrived there on 30 June, in the evening. We went there by car, my parents were just staying that night because they had to take care of Curtis (our cat) the following days. From 1 July to 6 July I rode my bicycle with my uncle and my brother on the smooth and safe coastal roads, and it was great fun: 300 km in total. I could have ridden a little bit more if there had been less wind and rain.
Apart from that, I saw a dozen of new Belgian licence plates, i.e. three digits preceding three letters, such as:
This one was the very first one I saw, hence the picture. Such plates are given out by the DIV (Direction pour l'Immatriculation des Véhicules / Dients voor de Inschrijving van de Voertuigen) since 25 June, but just for car owners that apply for a plate via the Internet. Plates with the now older code (e.g. YRJ-983, the newest plate I've seen so far) are still issued in local DIV offices. If, like me, you prefer that older code, you know what to do if you want to get one. I'll tell you more about these new plates in a forthcoming blog entry.On 4 July (Independence Day, I know) my brother and I decided to go to Knokke. In Zeebrugge we got to see this amazingly huge ship:
We couldn't resist going to the "Place M'as-tu-vu" (as we nickname it, instead of Place Albert) and act as chavs in the middle of obviously rich people wearing white trousers and shirts with awful pink stripes. We ate a "Luikse wafel" and made silly comments about the city. I was surprised by the number of vanity plates I had seen, e.g. SAY·007, IJS-101, GRA-004, TM-865, OOO-200, RAP-001, BOB-004, etc. "Spekje voor m'n bekje", as I can recall from Konnex.
Notice the yellow stickers with a Flemish lion on both our bikes…We also saw an old Russian submarine that we visited some ten years ago in Zeebrugge harbour. Admire this symbol of the communist warefare!
Another day, I saw this interesting vanity plate:
Maybe the owner works for Toys'r us or something…An interesting photo for trainspotters: 78 + 13 + 16 (these numbers representing the locomotive's type, or, as we say, the "series").
Well that's about all I have to tell about my trip. I'm already looking forward to my next stay at the Belgian (or should I say "Flemish"?) seaside.
6/07/2008
Dummy prince
Please watch this account of an interview of prince Philippe that was broadcast on Koppen, a VRT één programme. We get a sharp analysis of Philip's (un)ability to become king of our country when King Albert II dies.
"Is de prins er klaar voor? Het antwoord is: "Ja". De koning moet gasten ontvangen en met zijn foto op koekendozen kunnen staan, en dàt is meer dan in orde. Als België blijft bestaan, zal Filip er koning van kunnen zijn, maar of hij echt zal wegen, dat moet nog blijken."
4/29/2008
I'm hungry…
If you're starving, don't watch this!
Never go to McDonald's, because here's what you might find in your meal:
Yummy!
The following video shows you university students of Berlin Technical University making fries in a kind of mechanical manner…
If you ever happen to go to New York, make sure to go to Pommes Frites:
You don't even find such giant cones in Belgium!
And to conclude, let's watch this commercial for Mora which I find hilarious:
Never go to McDonald's, because here's what you might find in your meal:
Yummy!
The following video shows you university students of Berlin Technical University making fries in a kind of mechanical manner…
If you ever happen to go to New York, make sure to go to Pommes Frites:
You don't even find such giant cones in Belgium!
And to conclude, let's watch this commercial for Mora which I find hilarious:
4/26/2008
Belgian cuisine
I wonder why I haven't shown you this brilliant sketch by Philippe Geluck for a show called Un peu de tout (1991).
On casse les œufs pour lier la SAUUUUCE ! ET ON MET… UN PIED DE POOOORC… DANS LA SAUCE ! NOM DE DIEU !!Please also watch this other video from the same show:
Laissez vingt minutes au four. Pendant ce temps, vous donnez un coup de torchon dans la cuisine."
3/02/2008
Pl8ts
Last month, an auction took place in order to sell licence plates featuring a very low or special number. The money that was raised went to a government-run charity for the victims of traffic accidents in the United Arab Emirates. The record of the most expensive licence plate ever was broken: the plate featuring '1' as its only inscription was sold for $14 million! Just for a piece of metal! These people are crazy, don't you think?
I bet you probably wonder how this boy can already have so much money — probably several million$…
Here's a video showing the whole auction of '1'.
In Belgium, really low numbers (ranging from 1 to 100) are reserved for members of the Royal Household. King Albert II traditionally has '1' on his car (especially on the National Day and for other special occasions). Prince Philippe usually travels with the number 43, and auntie Fabi(ola) with 12. Let me also remind you that in Belgium, there are only two sorts of vanity plates:
I have a question for you all: if you could get a Belgian licence plate for free, which code would you ask from the administration? Please answer!
I bet you probably wonder how this boy can already have so much money — probably several million$…
Here's a video showing the whole auction of '1'.
In Belgium, really low numbers (ranging from 1 to 100) are reserved for members of the Royal Household. King Albert II traditionally has '1' on his car (especially on the National Day and for other special occasions). Prince Philippe usually travels with the number 43, and auntie Fabi(ola) with 12. Let me also remind you that in Belgium, there are only two sorts of vanity plates:
- a combination of three letters and three digits for €624,00, e.g. DOC-001
- any combination of two letters and three digits for €874,00, e.g. TR.001.
I have a question for you all: if you could get a Belgian licence plate for free, which code would you ask from the administration? Please answer!
2/04/2008
Shame on Him! Quinquidecies: John McCain
Yeah, that's right, I noticed the obvious: John McCain, leading Republican canditate to the presidence of the United States, has a combover! Look at these pictures:
If he were elected — which I hope not — he would be the combover president. But that would make a perfect motive for mocking him. (I don't know if there were presidents with a combover in the past; I have to check it out.) It's curious that, unlike Ehud Olmert (remember), no-one from his communication experts team told him to cut that combover…
On his website, I noticed an article that briefly mentions his combover:
Anyway, it's not here in Belgium that we're gonna see politicians arguing they're better than others just because s/he took part in a war… (I know it seems silly from our European point of view, but since in the USA there has always been some war going on…) Long live Belgium!
PS. Please have a look on the Uncyclopedia entry on John McCain.
If he were elected — which I hope not — he would be the combover president. But that would make a perfect motive for mocking him. (I don't know if there were presidents with a combover in the past; I have to check it out.) It's curious that, unlike Ehud Olmert (remember), no-one from his communication experts team told him to cut that combover…
On his website, I noticed an article that briefly mentions his combover:
Boston Herald: Rock-Solid McCain Hitting His Granite State StrideI thought that the combover was already a kind of self-imposed torture, though…
By Peter Gelzinis, The Boston Herald
January 8, 2008
John McCain may be old, but unlike Willard Mitt Romney, he's real. He's human.
In these final hours leading up to the New Hampshire primary, we've been reminded that humanity - and the sense of character that comes with it - will always transcend age.
At 71, with all his scars and age spots, McCain still looks a helluva [i.e. one hell of a, SL] lot more vibrant than the perfect political mannequin who, for a cup of coffee, was our governor.
McCain's got a snow white comb-over and arms shortened by torture. In khakis and a cardigan, he looks more like a retired police captain than a Ralph Lauren model. Yet the old man who's been given up for dead several times in his life, as well as this campaign, is poised to walk away with a victory that was supposed to belong to the dreamboat from just over the border. How could this happen?
Anyway, it's not here in Belgium that we're gonna see politicians arguing they're better than others just because s/he took part in a war… (I know it seems silly from our European point of view, but since in the USA there has always been some war going on…) Long live Belgium!
PS. Please have a look on the Uncyclopedia entry on John McCain.
1/19/2008
Téléchat
Who remembers watching this?
These were the opening credits of the first series of Téléchat, a Belgian-French TV show meant for kids, created in the early 1980s by the late Roland Topor and Henry Xhonneux. The format was that of a pseudo TV news bulletin, with silly reports; absurd humour and nonsense are the main ingredients of this show. Here's an episode:
It also gave rise to a popular crappy series, Léguman:
(Beware, it's completely kitschy)
And advertisements with Pub-Pub:
And here are the end credits:
And for the second series, another presenter, GTI (Grégoire de la Tour d'Ivoire), was introduced:
I never liked the new opening credits… Anyway, if you know this series, please let me know.
And as would Grouchat say: Chalut, à demain si on veut bien !
PS. Notice that Philippe Dumat (most known for voicing over Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes IV, V and VI of Star Wars, but also Gargamel in the Smurfs cartoons) lent his voice to the phone and the iron, but also the "gluon du trou".
PPS. Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: the Have-nuke-istan. To give you an idea:
Number of Non-Muslim Ghettoistanis beheaded since you began reading this article:
These were the opening credits of the first series of Téléchat, a Belgian-French TV show meant for kids, created in the early 1980s by the late Roland Topor and Henry Xhonneux. The format was that of a pseudo TV news bulletin, with silly reports; absurd humour and nonsense are the main ingredients of this show. Here's an episode:
It also gave rise to a popular crappy series, Léguman:
(Beware, it's completely kitschy)
And advertisements with Pub-Pub:
And here are the end credits:
And for the second series, another presenter, GTI (Grégoire de la Tour d'Ivoire), was introduced:
I never liked the new opening credits… Anyway, if you know this series, please let me know.
And as would Grouchat say: Chalut, à demain si on veut bien !
PS. Notice that Philippe Dumat (most known for voicing over Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes IV, V and VI of Star Wars, but also Gargamel in the Smurfs cartoons) lent his voice to the phone and the iron, but also the "gluon du trou".
PPS. Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: the Have-nuke-istan. To give you an idea:
Have-nuke-istan, officially The People's Democratic Republic of Have-nuke-istan (Have-nuke-istanian: Have-nuke-istan), is a small, dirty country where the men are bald, the women are bearded, and the children are below average. Current intelligence suggests that Have-nuke-istan is not located in the United States of America, which means that the country is simultaneously below contempt and extremely dangerous/evil. Despite its name, there is no indication that Have-nuke-istan possesses any nuclear weapons; in fact, "Have-nuke-istan" is Have-nuke-istanian for "Up yours, Russia."The article about Ghettoistan is not bad, too. Fragment:
Number of Non-Muslim Ghettoistanis beheaded since you began reading this article:
     |
Loading database... 11/22/2007
Death Notice (1)
The famous French choregrapher Maurice Béjart, most know for his revolutionary ballets, died today at the age of 80. I knew him especially through the Snuls, that bunch of comedians from Brussels who were quite prominent in Wallonia at the beginning of the nineties, relying on surrealistic humour. They often made fun of his ballets and their pseudo-news bulletins always mentioned some kind of a "nouveau ballet Béjart". But unfortunately, I didn't find anything about that on YouTube, but I found an fragment of a show:
The idea was to go in a café and ask somebody to say something, and the more silly they were, the more chance they had to be on the show. That's what happened with this bloke (a real snul, a Brussels word meaning something like "idiot") who thought he could sing "Singin' in the Rain".
Let's come back to Béjart. Several Belgian newspapers are known for displaying headings that include a rather audacious pun. Here's what my mother sent me today:
As long as we're in a French-speaking mood, let me show you what my old friend Cyril tells me about the French language in a recent e-mail:
The idea was to go in a café and ask somebody to say something, and the more silly they were, the more chance they had to be on the show. That's what happened with this bloke (a real snul, a Brussels word meaning something like "idiot") who thought he could sing "Singin' in the Rain".
Let's come back to Béjart. Several Belgian newspapers are known for displaying headings that include a rather audacious pun. Here's what my mother sent me today:
"Maurice Béjart est parti faire danser les étoiles" (La Libre Belgique)The latest news bulletins say that his ashes will be spread in the sea in Ostend. Some also claim that he wanted to become a Belgian citizen short before he died, but this won't be possible, I guess.
"Le dernier pas de danse de Béjart" (Le Soir)
As long as we're in a French-speaking mood, let me show you what my old friend Cyril tells me about the French language in a recent e-mail:
On dit souvent que jouer sur les mots est facile, mais est-il si facile de jouer avec les mots ? Un mot peut avoir plusieurs significations évidentes et souvent connues de tous. Une association de mots peut avoir beaucoup plus d'impact, car elle fait réfléchir. Ne dit-on pas que la réflexion est une des magies que la nature a confié à l'homme ? Si c'est le cas, les mots n'en sont-ils pas les incantations et la langue la baguette ?I think he should have become a poet!
11/18/2007
Long live Belgium!
Fuck YouTube! I had planned to show you the third part of Jeremy Clarkson's Top 100 Cars, as last Sunday and the Sunday before, but these videos and the others that I still had to show you were spotted and deleted. Bitches, as would thatguywiththeglasses say.
It basically means that I have to write about something else.
Today a huge demonstration to support Belgium's unity took place in Brussels. It gathered as much as 35,000 people, according to the police. A petition signed by more than 100,000 people (including myself) was handed in to Armand De Decker, president of the Belgian Senate. A lot of politicians came, too. But the fact is that most of the participants came from French-speaking Belgium, which perhaps show that the Flemish are less interested in Belgium as a united country.
A dozen of Flemish right-wing extremists were arrested because they shouted België barst in front of the Royal Palace — what a bunch of fools!
I'd have taken part to the demo if I lived closer to Brussels. That's all I have to say about it.
As Jeremy Clarkson's top 100 cars disappeared, let's watch something else:
It basically means that I have to write about something else.
Today a huge demonstration to support Belgium's unity took place in Brussels. It gathered as much as 35,000 people, according to the police. A petition signed by more than 100,000 people (including myself) was handed in to Armand De Decker, president of the Belgian Senate. A lot of politicians came, too. But the fact is that most of the participants came from French-speaking Belgium, which perhaps show that the Flemish are less interested in Belgium as a united country.
A dozen of Flemish right-wing extremists were arrested because they shouted België barst in front of the Royal Palace — what a bunch of fools!
I'd have taken part to the demo if I lived closer to Brussels. That's all I have to say about it.
As Jeremy Clarkson's top 100 cars disappeared, let's watch something else:
10/10/2007
Why are all good Belgian movies Flemish???
Yesterday, we had the opportunity to go and see a Flemish film called Ben X, which has already got several awards and it will perhaps make it to the final 5 in the Foreign Language Film category of the 80th Academy Awards Ceremony in 2008. Wait and see. If you haven't seen the film yet, please watch the trailer:
Ben is kind of a modern Rain Man, but addicted to computer games. He's bullied at school and the film's all about it. This bullying is so harsh that he'll consider committing suicide.
I found this film very interesting in the way the action was filmed; photography was brilliant and innovating. I especially liked the opening credits.
I still wonder why we can't make such achieved movies as this one in Wallonia…
Ben is kind of a modern Rain Man, but addicted to computer games. He's bullied at school and the film's all about it. This bullying is so harsh that he'll consider committing suicide.
I found this film very interesting in the way the action was filmed; photography was brilliant and innovating. I especially liked the opening credits.
I still wonder why we can't make such achieved movies as this one in Wallonia…
8/18/2007
No Man's Land
We had decided to go on a trip to Baarle-Hertog, a very peculiar Belgian village in the Netherlands… We were going there because we had planned to go to an American cars gathering in Antwerp.
Here, my parents are one foot on the Belgian ground, and the other on the Dutch territory. If you wonder why they're laughing, that's because my brother — who was also on both lands simultaneously but behind me — just said: "J'ai une couille aux Pays-Bas et une en Belgique". What a silly ass!
We walked in the village, crossing the borderline several times. We even didn't know in which land we were walking… We could only guess by keeping an eye on road signs: Belgian ones are quite different from Dutch ones. After this relatively short walk in this peculiar village, we headed for the car, and drove to Antwerp.
Half an hour later, we arrived in the east suburds of the city. We wanted to go to the Cokerillkaai (Cockerill Quay), more to the west. We had to drive through the city. What a bad idea: today is Saturday, the day Flemish people go shopping around. There was a long traffic jam, mostly due to overnumerous traffic lights. But in the end, we arrived in the neighbourhood of our destination: a gathering of American cars.
Only my brother and I bought a ticket: it cost 16 € for both of us; my parents didn't feel like going there, they'd better walk instead. We walked on the quays where 300 to 400 American cars were parked, mostly coming from Belgium and the Netherlands, but also from Germany, France and Luxemburg.
The most popular car among owners seemed to be the Chevrolet Corvette, from the first model from the 1950s (the "Sting Ray") to the most recent one. There were cabrios, vans, coupés, trucks, ambulances, police cars, taxis, limos and other American stuff you coudn't even imagine (even a couple of funeral cars with a coffin inside them…). Everything. Everything but what we were coming for: not a single DeLorean!! Oh no! Last year, ten DeLoreans had gathered on the occasion of this American cars festival. But after all, maybe they'd come tomorrow… Oh no!
We were a bit disappointed, but it let us more time to look at vehicules that we don't usually see on the roads. We took a look on various cars, among which a brand-new Ford GT, attracting lots of people, but also that car which looked so amazingly like that of the character of Roy Neary (played by Richard Dreyfuss) in Close Encounters of the Third Kind by Spielberg. It even had a licence plate from Wyoming on the front bumper, even though it had a Belgian oldtimer plate at the back.
To conclude, I won't say much about the public: people trying to live in the American way. I mean the redneck way of life…
Here, my parents are one foot on the Belgian ground, and the other on the Dutch territory. If you wonder why they're laughing, that's because my brother — who was also on both lands simultaneously but behind me — just said: "J'ai une couille aux Pays-Bas et une en Belgique". What a silly ass!
We walked in the village, crossing the borderline several times. We even didn't know in which land we were walking… We could only guess by keeping an eye on road signs: Belgian ones are quite different from Dutch ones. After this relatively short walk in this peculiar village, we headed for the car, and drove to Antwerp.Half an hour later, we arrived in the east suburds of the city. We wanted to go to the Cokerillkaai (Cockerill Quay), more to the west. We had to drive through the city. What a bad idea: today is Saturday, the day Flemish people go shopping around. There was a long traffic jam, mostly due to overnumerous traffic lights. But in the end, we arrived in the neighbourhood of our destination: a gathering of American cars.
Only my brother and I bought a ticket: it cost 16 € for both of us; my parents didn't feel like going there, they'd better walk instead. We walked on the quays where 300 to 400 American cars were parked, mostly coming from Belgium and the Netherlands, but also from Germany, France and Luxemburg.
The most popular car among owners seemed to be the Chevrolet Corvette, from the first model from the 1950s (the "Sting Ray") to the most recent one. There were cabrios, vans, coupés, trucks, ambulances, police cars, taxis, limos and other American stuff you coudn't even imagine (even a couple of funeral cars with a coffin inside them…). Everything. Everything but what we were coming for: not a single DeLorean!! Oh no! Last year, ten DeLoreans had gathered on the occasion of this American cars festival. But after all, maybe they'd come tomorrow… Oh no!
We were a bit disappointed, but it let us more time to look at vehicules that we don't usually see on the roads. We took a look on various cars, among which a brand-new Ford GT, attracting lots of people, but also that car which looked so amazingly like that of the character of Roy Neary (played by Richard Dreyfuss) in Close Encounters of the Third Kind by Spielberg. It even had a licence plate from Wyoming on the front bumper, even though it had a Belgian oldtimer plate at the back.To conclude, I won't say much about the public: people trying to live in the American way. I mean the redneck way of life…
8/01/2007
What's a "cervelas" made of, actually?
If you want to know the answer to this question, just watch this. Its TRUE!
This extracts comes from the excellent film Dikkenek, a Belgian movie describing certain social classes of our glorious country. Its part of the tradition of "autodérision": laughing about ourselves. I've seen this film recently. I though it would be boring, but not at all! I highly recommend it!
For your information, "cervelas" (or cervelat in English) is a kind of sausage that you'll find in Belgian chip shops. It has a bad reputation about it, being made out of unhealthy things — even though it has a marvellous taste! (I ate hundreds of them in my life, and I'm still alive though!)
And oh yeah, that guy we see talking is nicknamed François l'Embrouille. He did some hidden camera shows in the past, and I liked this one in a chip shop, precisely:
This extracts comes from the excellent film Dikkenek, a Belgian movie describing certain social classes of our glorious country. Its part of the tradition of "autodérision": laughing about ourselves. I've seen this film recently. I though it would be boring, but not at all! I highly recommend it!
For your information, "cervelas" (or cervelat in English) is a kind of sausage that you'll find in Belgian chip shops. It has a bad reputation about it, being made out of unhealthy things — even though it has a marvellous taste! (I ate hundreds of them in my life, and I'm still alive though!)
And oh yeah, that guy we see talking is nicknamed François l'Embrouille. He did some hidden camera shows in the past, and I liked this one in a chip shop, precisely:
6/10/2007
A Glimpse On Belgian Politics
Today, I went to vote for thee general elections. Not only because I had to (voting is compulsory in Belgium), but because I think it is necessary that one can directly express his/her choice as to those who are going to rule the country. (Or not, if you vote for the losers…) I'm not going to talk about politics here, but I just wanted to show you this video, coming from a show broadcast last Friday, at the end of which the presidents of the four main democratic parties in Wallonia had to present another president with something. Here's what it looks like:
What an debate. I very much appreciated Elio Di Rupo's comment on Didier Reynders's comment:
What an debate. I very much appreciated Elio Di Rupo's comment on Didier Reynders's comment:
Joëlle Milquet:
Un petit kit de super magicien, puisque je pense que Didier Reynders, en termes d'illusionnisme, a beaucoup de talent : il est parvenu à nous dire que 883 millions — excusez-moi, je le dis quand même — ce n'était pas grand-chose ; il est parvenu à essayer de dire qu'on était scotché au PS alors que ça fait 8 ans qu'il l'est, et il est presque parvenu à faire croire qu'il était dans l'opposition en sortant de son propre gouvernement, et donc je trouve qu'il y a tout le mode d'emploi, et j'espère qu'il en fera bon usage en attendant les élections…
Didier Reynders:
Toutes les couleurs y sont, et comme on ne devrait pas être agressif ce soir — monsieur le demandait — je vais effectivement l'utiliser ; quand j'en aurai bien compris les règles et le fonctionnement, je l'offrirai au nouveau Collège de Charleroi.
Johanne Montay:
À vous M. Di Rupo, votre cadeau.
Elio Di Rupo:
Ben écoutez, voilà, j'ai appris il y a quelques heures que je devais offrir un cadeau, et donc — et vous l'avez vu, son dernier mot a encore été désobligeant — et donc j'ai voulu remettre à M. Reynders quelques produits qui rendent extrêmement calme, pour rester zen, zen et garder son sang froid, donc je le remets bien volontiers…
Didier Reynders:
Oh mais c'est avec plaisir… [Comment: Mon cul !]
Elio Di Rupo:
… deux trois produits homéopathiques, quelques tisanes et tout ça ; et pour mes collègues…
(…)
Jean-Michel Javaux:
— On s'en fout de mon cadeau, ou quoi ?
4/27/2007
De/La Brabançonne
The Brabançonne is Belgium's national anthem. It seems that hardly anyone knows the lyrics…
Today, we were talking about Het Willelmus, the national anthem of the Netherlands. Our Dutch Literature professor, Mrs. Leijnse, told us that every single Dutchman knew the 1st and 6th couplets of the anthem - those that are sung for football events, etc. Then, Mrs Leijnse asked who, among us all (that is to say about 40 students), could sing Belgium's national anthem. I was astonished to find out that I was the only one who could sing it!!! Unbelievable. Of course, I was forced to sing it — and I did at ludicrous speed, which made everybody laugh…
Given that nobody knows the lyrics, I'm going to put it on this blog, so that the entire world has access to it. (I know the Wikipedia entry exists, too.) I know the French version, but by the end of next week, I will be able to sing it in Dutch! (Let me more time for the German version…)
Dutch version:
O dierbaar België
O heilig land der Vaad'ren
Onze ziel en ons hart zijn u gewijd.
Aanvaard ons hart en het bloed van onze ad'ren,
Wees ons doel in arbeid en in strijd.
Bloei, o land, in eendracht niet te breken;
Wees immer u zelf en ongeknecht,
Het woord getrouw, dat g' onbevreesd moogt spreken:
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Het woord getrouw, dat g' onbevreesd moogt spreken:
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
French version:
O Belgique, ô mère chérie,
A toi nos coeurs, à toi nos bras,
A toi notre sang, ô Patrie !
Nous le jurons tous, tu vivras !
Tu vivras toujours grande et belle
Et ton invincible unité
Aura pour devise immortelle :
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
Aura pour devise immortelle :
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
German version:
O liebes Land, o Belgiens Erde
dir unser Herz, dir unsere Hand
dir unser Blut, dem Heimatherde
wir schwören's dir, o Vaterland
So blühe froh in voller Schöne
zu der die Freiheit dich erzog
und fortan singen deine Söhne:
Gesetz und König und die Freiheit hoch!
You too, you can sing it, because here's the music to help you!
And to finish with, in alphabetical order:
Es lebe Belgien!
Leve België!
Vive la Belgique !
Today, we were talking about Het Willelmus, the national anthem of the Netherlands. Our Dutch Literature professor, Mrs. Leijnse, told us that every single Dutchman knew the 1st and 6th couplets of the anthem - those that are sung for football events, etc. Then, Mrs Leijnse asked who, among us all (that is to say about 40 students), could sing Belgium's national anthem. I was astonished to find out that I was the only one who could sing it!!! Unbelievable. Of course, I was forced to sing it — and I did at ludicrous speed, which made everybody laugh…
Given that nobody knows the lyrics, I'm going to put it on this blog, so that the entire world has access to it. (I know the Wikipedia entry exists, too.) I know the French version, but by the end of next week, I will be able to sing it in Dutch! (Let me more time for the German version…)
Dutch version:
O dierbaar België
O heilig land der Vaad'ren
Onze ziel en ons hart zijn u gewijd.
Aanvaard ons hart en het bloed van onze ad'ren,
Wees ons doel in arbeid en in strijd.
Bloei, o land, in eendracht niet te breken;
Wees immer u zelf en ongeknecht,
Het woord getrouw, dat g' onbevreesd moogt spreken:
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Het woord getrouw, dat g' onbevreesd moogt spreken:
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
French version:
O Belgique, ô mère chérie,
A toi nos coeurs, à toi nos bras,
A toi notre sang, ô Patrie !
Nous le jurons tous, tu vivras !
Tu vivras toujours grande et belle
Et ton invincible unité
Aura pour devise immortelle :
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
Aura pour devise immortelle :
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
German version:
O liebes Land, o Belgiens Erde
dir unser Herz, dir unsere Hand
dir unser Blut, dem Heimatherde
wir schwören's dir, o Vaterland
So blühe froh in voller Schöne
zu der die Freiheit dich erzog
und fortan singen deine Söhne:
Gesetz und König und die Freiheit hoch!
You too, you can sing it, because here's the music to help you!
And to finish with, in alphabetical order:
Es lebe Belgien!
Leve België!
Vive la Belgique !
3/23/2007
Another Day of Great Fun in Brussels
I see that the time goes by pretty fast: we are, with this picture, in January 2006, in Brussels. We were on another school trip (don't assume that we were always doing it: it was only once in a blue moon, but I talk about that here because it was special) whose goal was to see the exhibition "Made in Belgium" for the 175th anniversary of the independence of Belgium.
In the morning, we took the train in Verviers (the nearest station): we were 150 students and a dozen of teachers. An hour later, we arrived in Brussels Central and we walked to the Grand-Place, where a man (a retired one) took care of us: he was going to show us the most famous places of Brussels—strange that some of us had never ever come to Brussels… We went in front of the Manneken Pis (hence the photo) and walk towards the Royal Palace (how original), then the Royal Library, and back to the Grand-Place. Pretty boring when you have already seen that 100 times.But wait a minute… This sightseeing took place two years before, when I was in 4th year… Oops. Actually, on 13 January 2006, we didn't get any sightseeing, but we went directly to the exhibition. Fortunately, I was in the last part of the group, and I was staying close to M. Kuta, our History teacher, one of the most funny guys I know: that's him on the picture. Instead of looking carefully at the things exposed to our eyes about the history of Belgium, the books, the medals, the suits, the statues, the pictures, the paintings, etc., we couldn't help criticizing everything and make silly comments about whatever we saw. For example, we were talking about the building of the Caroline Europe, with Charlemagne dividing his kingdom between his four (!) sons: John, Ringo, Paul and George.
Later, we arrived in the Hall of Inventions, where we found this splendid ancient engine in front of which M. Kuta stands on the picture. We were kidding by saying that it was his first car's engine. At school, he was talking of his car being a Kutamobile or Fardier de Kuta (after the name of the first steam engine), and we tought it had to be precesely that. We also found his first wheels, as you can see.Then, we had a one-and-a-half-hour (?) break during which we could do whatever we wanted (except from robbing a bank or something mischievous), so I decided to walk towards the Friterie Jourdan, a chip-shop. (Crap! I can't even find a picture of this worldly-famous institution on Google!) That is to say that, from the Grand-Place, we had to walk for 2,5 km in order to get our fries, and back again to the Grand-Place: another 2,5 km! We did it within an hour! (Needless to say that we walked really fast.) But it was worth the effort: those fries were my favourites at that time (now, I've definitely found better).
In the afternoon, we had to see another exhibition about Russian paintings in the beginning of the 20th century in the Beaux-Arts/Bozart Museum. Pretty boring. I was still with M. Kuta, but due to the guide's presence, we didn't dare saying silly comments (even though there was enough material for doing so).
Afterwards, we had another bunch of free-time, so we went walking not too far from the Grand-Place, and I remember having been to the Quick to eat (yes, I have a healthy life). We took the train in Brussels Central Station round 7 pm and we went back to Verviers. No one was injuried during this trip.
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