Get on with it!

combOVER

I know it has been some time since I last wrote a blog entry on this blog (and any other, for that matter) but after a whole term spent in Utrecht I deserved to take a break. (And I didn't have a full access to the Internet until today, which also explains why I haven't been able to look for silly videos to chew on.)

Since last time that guy who decided to have a combover haircut for the sake of a "scientific experiment" put an end to it and gives us his conclusions:

"After I shaved it off completely and walked around bald nobody thought that was remotely interesting: 'Oh, it's just a bald guy. Normal. Easy. No problem.' That's probably the best solution for people who have combovers unless you really love the combover, but I suspect that a lot of people with combovers don't really like their combovers: they're just afraid of accepting baldness, which, I think, is totally unnecessary. Bald can look really great and I think it's worth accepting your baldness unless you truly love your combover, in which case I support you too. (…) Some people are just afraid of the unknown, and the unknown is complete baldness, and let me tell you: it feels good, it's easy to maintain and nobody's gonna be whispering behind your back about how you're being in denial and you're not fooling anyone."

The Combover experiment: an update

Let's take a look at what happened to this fellow who decided to have his hair ruined by a combover for the sake of sociology:

The Combover experiment

A brave (or foolish?) man decided to change his regular hairstyle for a hideous combover in order to see how people would react…

Shame on Him! Sexdecies: Jared Diamond

Today when I visited the (official) germ@namur blog to read a new entry (a report on Jared Diamond's lecture in Namur) I was shocked: how can such an intelligent man (I presume he is, for he was awarded the , Pulitzer Prize Guns, Germs, and Steel in 1998) have a combover? Look at these pieces of troubling evidence:






Besides, he has what I call a "morality teacher beard"…

Change? We'll see

How not to mention on this day the historical victory of Barack Obama, president-elect of the United States of America. I would have voted for him, had I been an American citizen — which luckily I'm not. It's not up to me to comment on US politics but I think Obama can bring some changes in his country's international image, starting with global warming. As of January he'll be the most important political figure in the world, being the president of a beautiful country inhabited by morons. For the results I refer you to Wikipedia and their very nice entry. Let's watch his speech he gave in Chicago:



The most important victory is that we've got rid of McCain's combover!

Lookalikes (3)

Our lookalikes tour continues! Let's start with some stars bearing an uncanny resemblance with dictators:


Brilliant.






Yet another (quasi) dictator…


Scary!


Take that, ugly old fascist!




Actually, it was (our "extremely diplomatic" minister) Karel De Gucht who suggested that first…


Perfect!


"Wicked!" (as Ron said in Harry Potter)


Always posing for the photographs…


ROFLOL


Wall-E really plagiarised our beloved Johnny Five!


Bravo!


Now I truly realise why I found Alf so weird: he had a combover just like Donald Trump!


Obvious.

A very topical lookalike indeed.

Haha!

And because I'm never tired of telling you that pope Darth Ratzi is evil:

The Pope is the monarch of the kingdom of Vatican (which is essentially his palace and his backyard) and over the minds of his horde of catholic followers, who are gullible enough to put a old senile pensioner on the throne.

Becoming pope

In 1939, Ben was in the Nazi German SS. And so, one day, while walking through the Warsaw, suddenly a filthy Polish beggar grabbed his leg begging for some money. Benny naturally pulled out his Walther to do some point-blank target practice, but suddenly heard a voice from the sky: "Don't kill this beggar!” Ignoring the voice, he aimed again, but the voice repeated: "Don't kill this beggar!" Annoyed, he aimed again and this time the voice said: "Don't kill this beggar - he will be a Pope one day". This time Benny did some thinking and finally returned the pistol to the belt grumbling - "OK, but only if I am to be the pope after him.”

"Tuer !!!"

Just listen to the guy…



(This guy has got a combover!)

This interview was part of the documentary magazine Strip-tease originally aired on the RTBF. If I remember correctly the guy was telling how he escaped from conscription by pretenting he was nuts. But I doubt it, somehow…

"L'émission tire son nom du terme « strip-tease », également appelé « effeuillage », qui consiste à se déshabiller progressivement face à un public, en musique, évoquant ainsi l'attitude de sujets filmés, qui finissent par se dévoiler devant la caméra, laissant les spectateurs découvrir leur intimité. Des spectateurs scrupuleux se sont parfois plaints que certains épisodes tournaient les sujets en dérision à leur insu."

Contradictions, contradictions…

Watch out, this guy might end up being the next US President… Well, that wouldn't be much of a change after G.W. Bush…

500

Yep, that's it: I've made it to my 500th blog entry… Time flies. I was wondering what I would post for that special occasion, but I had no idea. My back up plan was of course to google "500" on YouTube and here's what I found: a guy whose challenge put to himself was to impersonate 500 facial expressions. You'll be awazed to see that he succeeds!



Another impersonator:



"It's not a tumour!" (Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop)

I found another nice video related to 500, actually the review of the Mercedes S500 (aka S-Class) by old-timer Jeremy Clarkson the Great:

Alles kan beter (4)

Let's watch a couple of other fragments from the tremendously hilarious show Alles kan beter. The first extract is evidence that French-speaking students of Dutch are not the only ones who make mistakes when saying the plural form of a noun:



Waw! The former rector of the K.U.Leuven, André Oosterlinck, had a combover! Gotcha!


"Na de maaltijd begaf minister-president Van den Brande zich naar de toiletten. Daar zag ie drie lavabi. Hij deed pipo in de middenstens.



"Blind date?"
"Een 'Braille-afspraak'."

"Hoe noemt men Vlamingen in Benidorm, bijvoorbeeld? 'Paellatievepatienten'?"
"Baignoren."
"VTM-ers?"

Toupée Department

Here's a relatively unknown sketch featured in episode 41 of Monty Python's Flying Circus (or 2nd episode of the fourth series), "Toupée Department". Note that you won't see John Cleese because he had left the show at the end of the third series.



This illustrates the point that toupées should be banished because they're so absurd: they deceive nobody because you can immediately spot those "appendices" when a guy wears one! (Same thing for combovers…)

The Frogfather

I want to show you a Muppet parody of The Godfather, but first you should watch the following two scenes to understand the spoof. The first one is the opening scene, with undertaker Bonasera talking to Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) to ask for "justice" because two thugs attacked his daughter. (Notice Bonasera's combover.)

I believe in America --> One of the best opening lines in the movie history.

That I cannot do. --> My foot!

Bonasera. Bonasera. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectful?

Be my friend? … Godfather? --> I think he shit his pants…

Second scene: Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) has to go and kill Captain McCluskey, a corrupt policeman, in a restaurant:



And now, the Frogfather:



Maybe we should ask Statler and Waldorf (I mean the original ones) to comment on that:



A pot-pourri of some of the many comments they made during The Muppet Show:



A last word:

James Bond is no more: say hello to Tom Hanks

Here's a brilliant fake trailer made from a crossover between different films starring Tom Hanks, but also Bond movies:



This is definitely a piece of art.

Please watch the following video as well, a scene of an old James Bond (I don't know which one) with Sean Connery (James Bond) and the late Desmond Llewelyn (Q) that has been voiced over in French:



Silly, but funny. Why wouldn't you take a look at the Uncyclopedia entry on James Bond? (Actually, I've already featured it, but I mention it once more to make sure you read it.) The entry on the alphabet is worth the detour, too. That was just to make a reference to Q. By the way, the actor had a combover! Here's evidence of it:

Gotcha!

Happy birthday to you, my blog!

Exactly one year after I started this blog — which was perhaps one of the most silly things to do when you shouldn't be wasting your time instead of studying — I decided it was high time to change this blog's lay out and colours. I had opened a poll a month ago, and here are the results on 24 February, round 11.55 pm:

Red	0 (0%)
Yellow	1 (1%)
Dark Green	0 (0%)
Dark blue	18 (33%)
Gray	0 (0%)
Orange	12 (22%)
Brown	0 (0%)
Black	9 (16%)
Light blue	5 (9%)
Light green	6 (11%)
Purple	2 (3%)

Number of voters up to now: 53

The poll is now officially closed, and, as a token of my good will towards you, readers, this blog will be from now on predominantly dark blue with a bit of orange and black. Maybe it's gonna be ugly, but it will be your fault!

Exactly one year after I started this blog, I also thought it was a good opportunity to give you some statistics. Since 24 February 2008, I wrote 386, that is 1,06 blog entry each day (because in the very first months, I posted more than one article a day) even if I wasn't able to write one each day — which was originally my goal — due to exams and holidays.

In just one year, I used not less than 659 different labels, most of which were used only once (e.g. Academy Awards (1) [but I think I'll use it very soon] or iPhone (1) [surprisingly enough]). Now, here are the labels I used the most during one year:

1. Silly (252)
   
2. YouTube (231)
3. Star Wars (69)
4. Parody (55)
5. Combover (30)
6. Picture (30)
7. Car (26)
8. Darth Vader (26)
9. USA (22)
10. Song (20)
11. Namur (19)
12. Cartoon (18)
13. Alternate Ending (17)
14. Dubbing (16)
15. Jeremy Clarkson (16)
16. Movies (16)
17. Episode V (15)
18. guywiththeglasses (15)
19. LOTR (15)
20. Series (15)
21. University (15)
22. School Trip (14)
23. Uncyclopedia (14)
24. Accident (13)
25. Dutch (13)
26. Simpsons (13)
27. Trailer (13)
28. Belgium (12)
29. Crappy (12)
30. Flanders (12)
31. Politics (12)
32. Christmas (11)
33. English (11)
34. Episode IV (11)
35. Translation (11)
36. Yoda (11)
37. Britcom (10)
38. Brussels (10)
39. BTTF (10)
40. Cat (10)
41. Destruction (10)
42. France (10)
43. Holiday (10)
44. Paris (10)

So, basically, I like writing about silly Star Wars parodies on YouTube, preferably featuring a guy with a combover… Of course, such a combination has ever occurred — I mean, the combover thing in Star Wars… But let's do it today, then!

I looked up such a combination in YouTube, but it didn't work. Instead, I can give you videos that I could label as silly, or having to do with Star Wars, etc.

Silly + Star Wars + YouTube:



This guy is a complete retard, a nerd, a pillock, a dumbass, a [please insert an insult here]! The Bible isn't a truer story than the Star Wars saga!

Silly + Combover (these labels always go hand in hand) + YouTube



Silly + Combover + Picture:


I bet he won't be happy with such a defamatory act! Otherwise, Big Brother (aka the KGB) is gonna grab me:

(This is a spoof on KFC, Kentucky Fried Chicken, the well-known fast food outlets.)

Silly + Picture + Uncyclopedia:

(This comes from the Napoleon page.)

That's all for today. Let's see what will have happened in a year's time!

Shame on Him! Quinquidecies: John McCain

Yeah, that's right, I noticed the obvious: John McCain, leading Republican canditate to the presidence of the United States, has a combover! Look at these pictures:



If he were elected — which I hope not — he would be the combover president. But that would make a perfect motive for mocking him. (I don't know if there were presidents with a combover in the past; I have to check it out.) It's curious that, unlike Ehud Olmert (remember), no-one from his communication experts team told him to cut that combover…

On his website, I noticed an article that briefly mentions his combover:

Boston Herald: Rock-Solid McCain Hitting His Granite State Stride

By Peter Gelzinis, The Boston Herald
January 8, 2008

John McCain may be old, but unlike Willard Mitt Romney, he's real. He's human.

In these final hours leading up to the New Hampshire primary, we've been reminded that humanity - and the sense of character that comes with it - will always transcend age.

At 71, with all his scars and age spots, McCain still looks a helluva [i.e. one hell of a, SL] lot more vibrant than the perfect political mannequin who, for a cup of coffee, was our governor.

McCain's got a snow white comb-over and arms shortened by torture. In khakis and a cardigan, he looks more like a retired police captain than a Ralph Lauren model. Yet the old man who's been given up for dead several times in his life, as well as this campaign, is poised to walk away with a victory that was supposed to belong to the dreamboat from just over the border. How could this happen?

I thought that the combover was already a kind of self-imposed torture, though…

Anyway, it's not here in Belgium that we're gonna see politicians arguing they're better than others just because s/he took part in a war… (I know it seems silly from our European point of view, but since in the USA there has always been some war going on…) Long live Belgium!

PS. Please have a look on the Uncyclopedia entry on John McCain.

Shame on him! Quaterdecies: unknown guy

It has been quite a while since the last time I featured something related to combovers. Today, I found this worth-watching video:



The guy isn't even ashamed to be filmed!

Uncyclopedia unfortunately has no entry on combovers, but does have one on toupees and mullets. They're worth the detour, as shows this picture:


Wicked awesome, isn't it? Read the un-definition (which is, after all, not that un at all):

A Mullet is a very popular style of hair, predominant across North America, but also found in Europe, Australia and South America. It is characterized by the famous saying "Business in the front; party in the back!", although this has often mistakenly been thought to mean strip clubs instead. The mullet is equally popular with both sexes, as well as some apes, earning it the alternate name: "ape drape".

Christmas Week: "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"

The National Lampoon's Christmas Vacations ranks high in my favourite movies. I watch it every 25 December evening. It stars Chevy "Combover" Chase and other actors belonging to the Saturday Night Live show, such as Randy Quaid.

Let's start with the cartoon opening titles:



In this film, Clark Griswold is the head of a small family. He wants to celebrate Christmas with his whole family. First they have to go and cut a tree in the forest… That was quite an adventure, but it's nothing next to what happens after that…



Clark also attached 250 strands of lights to his roof…

… but it didn't work… But wait!



The attic scene:



The saucer sledge scene:



The dinner scene:



Towards the end of the film, Clark is really pissed off (due to the various disasters that happened in his house [including the burning of his Christmas tree and the electrocution of a cat]), but he was mostly frustrated because he hadn't received his bonus money, until…



I hope you enjoyed these fragments and that you might want to watch the whole film.

Shame on Him! Terdecies: John Bolton

Last week I promised I would feature another VIP with a combover…

Let's ask this simple question:

Who's got one of the most ridiculous combovers in the world?

AYE!

The winner is indeed John Bolton. Let's read the beginning of his resumé on Wikipedia:

John Robert Bolton (born November 20, 1948), is an American diplomat in several Republican administrations, who served as the Permanent US Representative to the UN from August 2005 until December 2006, on a recess appointment. He resigned in December 2006, when his recess appointment would have ended.^[1][2]

Bolton is involved with a broad assortment of conservative think tanks and policy institutes, including the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs (JINSA), Project for the New American Century (PNAC), Institute of East-West Dynamics, National Rifle Association, US Commission on International Religious Freedom, and the Council for National Policy (CNP).

Bolton was formerly involved with Committee for Peace and Security in the Gulf (CPSG), Council on Foreign Relations (CFR), Federalist Society, National Policy Forum, National Advisory Board, Manhattan Institute for Policy Research, New Atlantic Initiative, Project on Transitional Democracies, and U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID).

Two conclusions can be drawn:

1. He earns a lot of money;
2. It is said that he is a conservative. That must be the reason of sticking to such an old-fashioned hairstyle…

Let's see some other pieces of evidence:



I admit it is dense, so it's not as ugly as most"light" combovers that pretend to hide a bald(ing) skull. This one must be quite heavy – or kind of. It could be confused with a toupée, but we can see that his hair is stiched to his skull. It reminds me of Serge Kubla, who I was telling you about several months ago.

Shame on Him! Tredecies: Ehud Olmert

I finally decided to search my memory for someone having a combover I hadn't mentioned yet on this blog. Then the face of Ehud Olmert (Prime Minister of Israel) came to my mind… Look at this piece of evidence:


When I first saw him, after his predecessor Ariel Sharon fell in a coma due to I-don't-know-which illness, I immediately spotted his combover. Of course: that's always what I look on a middle-aged or old man.

But since then, as we can see on the picture below (showing the evolution of his hair), Ehud Olmert was wise enough to cut his combover, making him look less silly than before…


Congratulations, Mr Olmert!

Then I wondered which could have been the reasons that led him to make the good choice. Yesterday, I found this interesting open letter to Ehud Olmert published in January 2006 on the Jerusalem Post:

Dear Mr. Olmert,

Your recent TV appearances, albeit in troubled times, have moved me to write to you on a personal matter that has been troubling me about you for sometime.

I too had the misfortune to lose my hair, as is the way with so many Jewish men. I too chose to artfully comb what remained in an attempt to conceal the fact. There were certain angles from which you could view me (usually if you were sitting and I wasn't) where you genuinely couldn't tell that I had lost my hair – or at least, at my most delusional, I could persuade myself thus.

However, the combover years were not happy ones. Sport in particular gave rise to much awkwardness, as it gave my opponents plenty of ammunition with which to unsettle me. I often rose majestically into the air to head a football, and then faced the anxiety of starting the Bobby Charlton rearrangements even before my feet had hit the ground. [Bobby Charlton was one of the stars of England's 1966 World Cup-winning soccer team, who lost his hair at a young age and resorted to ever-more-elaborate combover arrangements in a ludicrously vain effort to conceal the fact; readers of American origin might wish to substitute, say, Rudy Giuliani.]

A gust of wind was also incredibly unwelcome, unmasking me as it did in front of total strangers.

My anguish was put to an end one afternoon, when a colleague at work put his pencil down and said: "I simply cannot sit here a minute longer with your hair looking like that."

He took me by the hand and sat me down in a barber's shop with the simple but life-transforming instruction to the man in charge - "Take it off."

It was interesting that, phoney as the combover had been, and as much I knew in my heart that it fooled no one, it still took my colleague to force the issue. This took place a dozen years ago, and I have often reflected how deeply I am indebted to my now former colleague; how he released me from such tension and awkwardness.

Mr. Olmert, I would like to perform the same role for you. I simply cannot scream "Take it off!" at the TV screen anymore. Believe me, it is a liberating and life-affirming experience. Unafraid of being unmasked, you will have an immediate spring in your step, a key stress release for any politician.

You are going to need a steady nerve and clear thoughts in the difficult days ahead, and I would never be so arrogant as to suggest which political course you might steer for Israel. But on this issue I do feel qualified to weigh in.

Take my advice. Get rid of the lid, and you will be far better placed to negotiate your way through.

The writer, a committed reader of The Jerusalem Post, is the director of a duty-free business based in London.

What we can conclude from all that is that Rudy Giuliani's combing-out [btw, I've just coined this word as a pun to coming-out] cleared the way for a series of men who come to feel that trying to hide their baldness is not only useless, but also pathetic.

PS. I found an American that's a HUGE combover; I'll write about him very soon… A hint? Let's say that he's was until 2006 high-rank diplomat at the United Nations…