The Life of Jesus

Robin Williams makes fun of Jesus:

Another parrot sketch

Here's a parrot sketch featuring Rowan Atkinson, from the Not the Nine O'Clock News show:



Note that the headmaster is played by Mel Smith, who, incidentally, directed Bean.

iCock nano

What happens when Bill Gates from Microsoft meets Steve Jobs from Apple, Inc.?



"You want to see my Dick?"
"Ah yeah, sure…"
"Here."
"Yeah, that's tiny also!"
"Yeah, I was born like that!"

--> Genius

(This sketch comes from the Harry and Paul show.)


On Windows Vista you can sometimes see crazy notifications pop up…

“At least I don't have to press the "START" Button to SHUT MY COMPUTER DOWN any more. That didn't make any sense.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Vista

“You do know that this is still called the "START" button, right?”

~ Me on Oscar Wilde's quote

I prefer Rutte 98, if you want my opinion…

Clarkson Island

The well-known British comedians Harry and Paul made a brilliant parody of Jeremy Clarkson:



"Clarkson Island has just the greater number of Clarksons… in the world."

"And the thing that's most like the genuine Clarkson… is we pause… in the middle… of our sentences… in the world."

An afternoon at the museum

"Apart from mocking the elderly, there's no finer way to spend an afternoon than in an art gallery…"

"Yeah I know! Stop repeating everything I say!"

This is ad-equate

Here's a good compilation of true and fake funny commercials:

Language Lab

For those of you who would miss this kind of course:

500

Yep, that's it: I've made it to my 500th blog entry… Time flies. I was wondering what I would post for that special occasion, but I had no idea. My back up plan was of course to google "500" on YouTube and here's what I found: a guy whose challenge put to himself was to impersonate 500 facial expressions. You'll be awazed to see that he succeeds!



Another impersonator:



"It's not a tumour!" (Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop)

I found another nice video related to 500, actually the review of the Mercedes S500 (aka S-Class) by old-timer Jeremy Clarkson the Great:

Alles kan beter (4)

Let's watch a couple of other fragments from the tremendously hilarious show Alles kan beter. The first extract is evidence that French-speaking students of Dutch are not the only ones who make mistakes when saying the plural form of a noun:



Waw! The former rector of the K.U.Leuven, André Oosterlinck, had a combover! Gotcha!


"Na de maaltijd begaf minister-president Van den Brande zich naar de toiletten. Daar zag ie drie lavabi. Hij deed pipo in de middenstens.



"Blind date?"
"Een 'Braille-afspraak'."

"Hoe noemt men Vlamingen in Benidorm, bijvoorbeeld? 'Paellatievepatienten'?"
"Baignoren."
"VTM-ers?"

Alles kan beter (3)

The team of Alles kan beter hasn't forgotten old people who are a bit deaf: they've created a special newsprogramme for them:



"Met een beetje geluk, tot morgen!"

A comparison between the VRT and VTM news programmes:

Alles kan beter (2)

Did you know that the human body is controlled by a kind of small room where engineers determine what the body does and says? In the following video, Alles kan beter (with Mark Uytterhoeven, Guy Mortier and Tom van Dyck) guides us through the meandres of former Prime Minister Jean-Luc Dehaene… Beware: it's absolutely hilarious.

"Aaakes! Degoutant, onz' nagels zijn ze zwart als [?]"

"Dju!"
"Wat is er?"
"Geblokkeerd, he! We zijn geblokkeerd! De rechteren arm, he."
"Harder trekken…"

"Hij zit te lachen?"
"Ja, 't is een nieuwe functie."
"Zet dat toch af!"
"Sorry, mannen, voilà voilà!"

Sorry for not being quite able to transcribe tussentaal correctly…

And once again for those of you currently studying taalvariatie and some things about Dutch and Flemish dialects, they could be interested in watching this other video featuring Jean-Luc Dehaene:



I won't transcribe anything: I'm definitely not able to do so.

The "Dead Parrot sketch" revisited

Please watch this other version of the Dead Parrot sketch that was performed by John Cleese and Michael Palin at the first Amnesty International Secret Policeman's Ball in 1976:





You'll be surprised by the following version:

"Double balls and bollocks!"

Our General linguistics exam is in fact a so-called [neutral use ;-) SL] "take home exam". One of the proposed questions — because we are to pick two of them out of a set of six — requires us to analyse, among others, the phenomena of hyper- and misunderstanding in the sketch "Customer attacks Jane Eyre", aka "Balls!" from A bit of Fry and Laurie.



Just in passing, I would like to highligh a commentary that has been dropped on this video:

Stephen Fry's character looks like a young Jeremy Clarkson with that perm and the same crass,uneducated, uncultured yoboik attitude that encapsulates his extremely irrating personality and that never popular car show that isn't about cars anymore called top gear.Classic sketch depicting the modern masculine attitude with completely no brain at all!!!.

We got that, but imagine if we had to analyse the silly metaphors uttered by Fry towards the end of this sketch about the English language:

Toupée Department

Here's a relatively unknown sketch featured in episode 41 of Monty Python's Flying Circus (or 2nd episode of the fourth series), "Toupée Department". Note that you won't see John Cleese because he had left the show at the end of the third series.



This illustrates the point that toupées should be banished because they're so absurd: they deceive nobody because you can immediately spot those "appendices" when a guy wears one! (Same thing for combovers…)

Belgian cuisine

I wonder why I haven't shown you this brilliant sketch by Philippe Geluck for a show called Un peu de tout (1991).

On casse les œufs pour lier la SAUUUUCE ! ET ON MET… UN PIED DE POOOORC… DANS LA SAUCE ! NOM DE DIEU !!

Laissez vingt minutes au four. Pendant ce temps, vous donnez un coup de torchon dans la cuisine."

Please also watch this other video from the same show:

Bee TV

Another silly sketch featuring two legens: John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson.



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Rowan Atkinson. (Sorry, but there's no entry on John Cleese.)

How does Darth Vader use the bathroom?

The answer to this question, long awaited by millions of Star Wars fans, is given by Emperor Palpatine himself:



Emperor Palpatine warns you against the dangers of time travel and temporal paradoxes:



Please check you the AskPalpatine website for more sketches. Also, if you'd like to ask Palpatine a question, "do not hesitate, show no mercy" (to quote him): it's just a click away.

Uncyclopedia featured articles (yeah, they're back): Time travel, Great Time Travel War of 1871
and The Future:

This article or section is able to see into The Future.

Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.

The modern method of predicting the future.

Predicting the future is a common term among time fans eagerly awaiting its release. The term refers to any leaked information about the future, and assumptions created from that information, as well as pure conjecture. This consists mostly of fans making guesses based on the mistakes of the past, which was widely regarded as only fun for the hardcore time fans. There are many internet discussion forums where the world's greatest minds come together and argue with one another whether the Future will stick to its simple roots, or be a complete sell-out that is all about the graphics.

What makes predicting the future difficult is that it is protected by the CSS encryption algorithm. Anyone who has tried to predict it prior to the 18th century has died; this is not known for certain.

A short selection of things that will happen in the future, according to Uncyclopedia:

In a bit

• Vatican admits pretty much everything was a hoax. Longest April fools joke. Ever.

• The First Church of Spongebob opened

• Earth's magnetic poles mysteriously reverse positions. USA wakes up to discover that it is now in South America.

• Canada buys one (1) tank

Almost but not quite just about right now

• USA colonizes Uranus. Related jokes NEVER get old.

• Canada gets an army

Oh, a long ways off

• All forms of education rendered obsolete by the invention of brain transplants.

• Canada conquers the earth; the USA is exiled to Uranus.

• Terrorists vaporise all Americans left in existence by setting fire to Uranus.

The last moments of the universe

• Humanity becomes intelligent

• Neo Germany makes a funny joke

• Weather service become 100% accuracy

• Bill Gates goes bankrupt

• Britney Spears regains custody of her children

• Death dies

• Chuck Norris wakes up and causes mass destruction

• First time machine made, Church of Scientology buys one and goes back to the start of humanity. Huge disappointment; someone stepped on an internet.

Don't say "Romanes eunt domus", but "Romani ite domum"

Let me show you a couple of funny scenes from The Life of Brian:



The stoning:

"He said it again!"

"Are there any women here today?"

"No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle. Do you understand? Even if — and I want this to be absolutely clear — even if they do say Jehovah."

It's important to know your Latin grammar:

Plan langues (3)

Just a sketch by the The Monty Python (in Monty Python's Flying Circus) that I find really funny:



"Was ist das Wort für Mittelschmerz?"

"He shouldn't be saying that: we haven't done comparatives yet!"

Presidents can be funny sometimes

If you don't believe me, watch this:



Same principle, but applied to Vladimir Putin:



Sarkozy has had one too many as well:



Note that, as opposed to his two homologues, Sarkozy's speech hasn't been slowed down at all!

I also found this video featuring a song by Carla Bruni, with pictures brilliantly spoofing on the lyrics:



PS. Don't forget some of the hyperlinks if you want to read the Uncyclopedia entries about those people.