Renaissance paintings

What if famous actors had lived in the 17th century? Being famous they'd probably been portrayed:



David Beckham (see the sources here).




Weird Al Yankovic (see the original images here).

Nicholas Cage (for the source click here).

Definitely not a Renaissance painting, but I found the Photoshop effect extremely brilliant:

Source: Worth1000.com (excellent website, expect to see more gems very soon).

50 impersonations in 50 seconds

Only thatguywiththeglasses could be crazy enough to do that:



Keaton: "I'm Batman"
Clooney: "I'm Batman"
Maguire: "I'm Spiderman"
Bloom: "I'm boring"

T: "Foo!"

You: "SHUT UP!"


Brilliant.

Indy IV: the preview to be watched after seeing the film

The video I'd like to show you today is a movie preview of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It's really funny, I assure you.

500

Yep, that's it: I've made it to my 500th blog entry… Time flies. I was wondering what I would post for that special occasion, but I had no idea. My back up plan was of course to google "500" on YouTube and here's what I found: a guy whose challenge put to himself was to impersonate 500 facial expressions. You'll be awazed to see that he succeeds!



Another impersonator:



"It's not a tumour!" (Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop)

I found another nice video related to 500, actually the review of the Mercedes S500 (aka S-Class) by old-timer Jeremy Clarkson the Great:

"Water, no thank you sir. Fish make love in it"

Please watch one of my favourite scenes from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody) is talking about the Grail's diary written by Henry Jones (Sean Connery).

Elsa Schneider: He's given them to Marcus Brody.
Henry Jones: Marcus? You didn't drag poor Marcus along, did you? He's not up to the challenge.
Walter Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him!
Indiana Jones: The hell you will! He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan. He speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom. He'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck... he's got the Grail already.
Marcus Brody: Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek? Water, no thank you sir. Fish make love in it… (…) My reputation precedes me.

Some of you may have recognized the late Denholm Elliott, who played in The Signal-Man, the television adaptation of Charles Dickens' eponymous short story.

Beware of the seagulls!

If you happen to fly a plane (why not?), never fly too close to the beach, you never know:



Haha! Owned by retired 007!

"Chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk!" is one of the best lines in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Another quote that I like is also said by Sean Connery, talking about his Grail journal: "I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers..."

By the way, the film whose ending got alternated is Sky Captain (starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Jude Law), which I've never watched. Here's the original Indiana Jones scene:



"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne: Let my armies be the rocks and the trees - and the birds in the sky."

I know I've already featured the following video, but I think it'd be nice for you to watch it once more:

"Rarely I practise what I preach, that was why I was born to teach"

Since we're in a kind of Indy week, I propose you watch this brilliant song parody based on the Raiders March theme by the god of composers, John Williams. Let's watch first a music video with fragments from the first three films.



Parody by goldentusk:

James Bond is no more: say hello to Tom Hanks

Here's a brilliant fake trailer made from a crossover between different films starring Tom Hanks, but also Bond movies:



This is definitely a piece of art.

Please watch the following video as well, a scene of an old James Bond (I don't know which one) with Sean Connery (James Bond) and the late Desmond Llewelyn (Q) that has been voiced over in French:



Silly, but funny. Why wouldn't you take a look at the Uncyclopedia entry on James Bond? (Actually, I've already featured it, but I mention it once more to make sure you read it.) The entry on the alphabet is worth the detour, too. That was just to make a reference to Q. By the way, the actor had a combover! Here's evidence of it:

Gotcha!

When Harrison meets Sean

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is scheduled for release on 22 May (and since that day I will probably have an exam, I won't be able to go and see it at the cinema! Grr!) and millions of fans (amongst whom your humble servant) are eagerly looking forward to it. No official trailer has yet been released, but I think it will soon. One thing is for sure, Sir Sean Connery won't appear in the movie:

Sean Connery turned down making a cameo appearance as Henry Jones, Sr., finding retirement too enjoyable.^[1] Lucas stated that in hindsight it was good that Connery did not briefly appear, as it would disappoint the audience when his character would not come along for the film's adventure.^[2]

But who can tell whether the producers actually attempted everything to get Sean Connery back, for instance (say) with Harrison Ford visiting him in his castle in Scotland:



"This was a priceless vase from the Ming dynasty. A gift from my wife too…"
"We put everything on hold to find you."
"It must have cost millions!"
"You're worth it, though, Sean."
"I don't believe my eyes: it's from Wal-Mart! You can tell from the inscription here: Wal-Mart!"
"No! I could have get you a refund!"

[…]

"Goldfinger! A remake! It was always my favourite one… Pussy galore, here I come…"
"Of course, you will have to look out your wig again."
"It's a small price to pay for this role…"
"And there will be stunt doubles for the sex scenes."
"Stunt double!"
"Well, we can't take any chance with you what with your age and such."
"I'll manage fine myself!"
"Really!"
"I've never had any problems in that department and I'm not gonna now…"
"Whatever."

[…]
"You're too old!"
"Too old? I had an Aston Martin with ejector seats!"
"Yeah, and now you have a bus pass!"
"Watch it! I'm not too old to kick your ass!"

This idea of writing subtitles on a foreign version is brilliant! Of course, it works better if you don't know the language at all, because if it were in French, we'd have to turn the volume off.

And an alternate ending for the third film:



And because I love the French version, here's one of my favourite scenes, namely that of the plane escaping the Germans:



— Qu'est-ce qui se passe à 11 heures ???

(…)

— Il me semble que ces gens essaient de nous tuer !
— Je sais, père !
— C'est une nouvelle expérience pour moi !
— Moi, ça m'arrive tout le temps.

(…)
— Mais c'est intolérable !

Dubbing voices:
– Harrison Ford: Richard Darbois
– Sean Connery: Jean-Claude Michel

Commercials and Celebrities

Remember that Citroën commercial featuring a dancing C4?



Some idiot made a parody with a 2CV:



"Vous n'imaginez pas tout ce que Citroën peut faire pour vous", they say.

Even Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) lies the C4:



But I admit I prefer this one:



Yeah, it's the French version (Sir Sean Connery being dubbed by Bernard Dhéran), but I couldn't find the English (or Scottish) one.

Sean Connery Tests A Time Machine

As I don't have much time today for writing blog entries, I will simply post two things that I found on YouTube (without which this blog would never have survived for long).

In the following extract, you can see an advertisement for a Citroën car, driven by Sir Sean Connery. This is the French version, because I can't find the original one.



(Sir Sean's French dubbing voice is the legendary actor Bernard Dhéran, who played for example in On a retrouvé la 7e compagnie and also dubbed Sir Michael Caine in Muppet's Christmas Carol and Sir Christopher Lee in Star Wars - Episodes II & III.)