Tumbler

The Tumbler (aka the newest Batmobile) is shown in Top Gear:



Here you can see a Tumbler competing with a Formula One Toyota:



I have to say I prefer the Batmobile that you can see in Tim Burton's Batman movies. For more information about it, please do not miss this video.

Let's waste a bit of water

(In)famous TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson wants to know if you can make a proper fishtank out of a car:

Wedding

I had nothing better for today — I'm sorry…

Clarkson in Holland

Jeremy Clarkson went to the Netherlands, which happens to be the country where the speed cameras were invented.



"Are there any speed cameras left in Holland?"



Bonus: Clarkson does some gardening... with a gun.

Male driving

The other day I posted a video showing a woman having some trouble getting into a parking lot which she didn't seem to find too small. I also wondered if it wasn't a coincidence that the driver was a woman. There's a common belief that women can't drive, and that's sometimes fair to say that. Fortunately, such things as the parking disaster aren't common place. Besides, men can be terrible at driving as well. Here's a video on the origins of the phenomenon:



A silly commercial:



A picture slideshow featuring some car wrecks, most of which are to be attributed to male drivers in my opinion:



1:26 --> Welcome to Kazakhstan!

Rally drivers (all men, of course: women are clever enough not to take part in these races) are known to be dumb, stupid, daft, idiotic jackasses. In the following video, none of them manages to get past a corner successfully:



Note that gradually more people came to witness the accidents!

Soldiers driving a Hummer in Iraq:



"We brake for nobody"

Hopeless attempt

Finding a parking space isn't easy. Getting your car parked on it might be a right kerfuffle, as shown in the following video.



PS. The driver turns out to be a woman. Is it a coincidence?
;-) to Alexandre

500

Yep, that's it: I've made it to my 500th blog entry… Time flies. I was wondering what I would post for that special occasion, but I had no idea. My back up plan was of course to google "500" on YouTube and here's what I found: a guy whose challenge put to himself was to impersonate 500 facial expressions. You'll be awazed to see that he succeeds!



Another impersonator:



"It's not a tumour!" (Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop)

I found another nice video related to 500, actually the review of the Mercedes S500 (aka S-Class) by old-timer Jeremy Clarkson the Great:

Final Destination 2

Final Destination 2 features one of the best crash scenes in all the action movies I've seen so far:



And for those of you who are afraid to go to the dentist's:

What's the quickest way? Train or Aston Martin?

Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond organise an epic race from Surrey to Monaco to see if taking the trip in an Aston Martin DB9 is faster than taking the train. How silly they are! But that's the whole point, I think.

"If you want to get to work quickly, get a table"

Infamous presentor Jeremy Clarkson introduces us to the G-Wiz, a really crappy electric car:



"This has no redeeming features, it has no headroom, it has no leg room, it has no space for a passenger alongside me and God has not yet created a creature who would fit in the back! (…) You can't stop cause that'll wear the battery down… (…) The message then is clear: if you want to die horribly and in great pain while keeping Britain wet and miserable, get a G-Wiz. If on the other hand you want something strong, and safe and quite a lot faster than a G-Wiz, get yourself a table."

A crash test:

In our series "WTF?"…

OWNED:

The Danish know how to be effective

If you're not the kind of person that enjoys fastening his or her seatbelt, I suggest you watch this clip from Denmark:



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Denmark, aka Legoland (see Lego bricks).

Funny home videos

If you're fed up with the huge pile of homework you've got to do, why don't you have a short break and watch the following videos?





I love the last ten seconds!

The most surprising is this is just a small percentage of all domestic accidents that occur, because there's not always someone with a cam recorder!

Pure entertainment

While some are working hard on a useless linguistic landscapes project, costing them a lot of time that could be used for more important courses (yes, I'm complaining about being overworked), some other build a scale model of a Ferrari 312P… Jeremy Clarkson reports:



With his fellows Richard Hammond and James May, he also tests "outdoor toys"…



"I HATE THIS QUAD!"

People often have silly ideas…

… such as equipping a wheelchair with a propane-propelled engine:



Or a Honda four-stroke 165cc engine:



I'd like to get one of these for my grandma, when we go to the seaside… Probably everyone out there would be scared to death… Or I could use it to go to the faculty, but I admit it would be upsetting if it rains…


A little bonus skit from Little Britain:

"What is it?"
"It's the new chair you wanted!"
"Yeah I know."
"I had to go all the way down to Cranmouth for it; it's a right kerfuffle."

Tankman Begins

Watch this funny parody of Batman Begins for the introduction to the 2005 MTV Movie Awards ceremony, hosted by Jimmy Fallon:



Curse you, tank man!

The guy who played Batman is John Heder, aka Napoleon Dynamite.

Here's another parody that Fallon made on basis of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith:



I'm very good at backflips!

A car that's cheaper than walking…

Jeremy Clarkson was the only one who could make us aware of the existence of such a peculiar car, the P50:



It did 100 miles to the gallon: that's even better that my moped!

Note (from Wikipedia):

Clarkson incorrectly stated that the tiny P50 is subject to the London congestion charge, unlike the much larger Lexus RX vehicle used as a camera platform, which qualifies for exemption from the charge on the grounds of its petrol-electric hybrid powerplant.^[Reference] In fact the P50 also qualifies for exemption, under a provision allowing three-wheeled vehicles of less than 100 cm (39.4 in) width and 200 cm (78.7 in) length to enter the Congestion Charge Zone without charge.^[Reference]

Jeremy Clarkson also tested the more expensive car I mentioned yesterday: the Audi R8:



Today's featured Uncyclopedia article: Crapmobile.

"Hello, Mr Horse" (David Walliams as Lou Todd, in Little Britain season 2)

Audi came up with a terrific commercial for its new R8:



This was a perfect example of a commercial that will never work with most people, because it's a reference to Coppola's Godfather. Maybe it would be interesting to situate the scene first: Johnny Fontane came to his godfather, Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) because he needed his help: Jack Woltz, an influent Hollywood producer, turned him down for playing the main part he wanted in a new movie. Johnny is a bit desperate:



So, Don Vito sends his consiglieri Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) to Jack Woltz in order to make him an offer he can't refuse… But Jack Woltz still refuses to take Johnny Fontane for the role—in fact because Johnny slept with one of his mistresses. Tom has no other option than to take the hard way:



The spoofed scene in the commercial is thus Jack Woltz finding the head of his valuable racehorse Khartoum when he wakes up!

P.S. Note that the character of Johnny Fontane presents uncanny resemblances to Frank Sinatra's career, who was "mysteriously" helped…


Today's featured Uncyclopedia article: The Godfather, of course!

The film is widely accepted as the greatest film in cinema history, voted number one on most internet websites like Fresh-Tomatos.com and the IMDB. However, it is also the subject of great controversy. Ever since the films release, mass cults have formed. Often, people claimed The Godfather's Vito Corleone was made in the image of Jesus Christ. Evidence for this claim comes from the characters title:

God = Shows the religous side of Vito.

Father = Shows that his father is God.

Putting both words together gets the title "Godfather." Some people continue to believe he has the title because it sounds cool.

The film also arose the disease known as MCD (Marble Cheeks Disease). This disease is caught from when people try to be like Marlon Brando and put marbles in there mouth, only what they fail to realise is that this can lead to a very serious disease, depending on how clean the marbles are. People who still want to pretend to be Marlon Brando have to make sure they sterilise their marbles with bleech before putting them in there mouths.

Brilliant!

"I'm a very good driver"

Jeremy Clarkson doesn't like crappy cars:



Consider the worst cars you've considered to buy: [Volvo, Yugo, Mazda, Lada, Hunday]

(…) made with the care of a third-world plumbing system and it was more aerodynamic going backwards. This was the worst model of them all: the Vanden Plas.

That one takes the biscuit!

PS. Ignorants should note that the title is a quote from Rain Man, starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. Here's the brilliant five second version of the movie, made – of course – by thatguywiththeglasses:



SHUT UP!

Nobody f*cks with Jeremy Clarkson

Today's blog post is dedicated to Waldorf (aka Martin), for he sent me a couple of videos, one of which is the destruction of a Corvette by John Goodman, a terrific scene coming from The Big Lebowski:



Apparently, this is the Corvette time of the year, because there's also a blog entry on such cars on germ@namur. In the comments, I suggested everyone who's interested in Corvettes to take a look on an Uncyclopedia article: How to Crash Your Father's New Corvette? Jeremy Clarkson, too, has something against Corvettes:




Waldorf particularily liked the character of Jesus Quintana, played by John Turturro:



"I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger till it goes click!"
"Jesus!"
"You said it, man: nobody fucks with the Jesus!"