Hamlet in 5 seconds

Not really a 5 second movie, but rather a 5 second play…

Kaboom!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in five seconds…



And the first three films being dealt with (in five seconds as well) by ThatGuyWithTheGlasses:

Scarface in 5 seconds

The title says it all!



PS. This five-second movie wasn't made by thatguywiththeglasses; he decided to stop making them so that he doesn't stretch his concept too much, but gives the opportunity to others to make their own.

"I'm a very good driver"

Jeremy Clarkson doesn't like crappy cars:



Consider the worst cars you've considered to buy: [Volvo, Yugo, Mazda, Lada, Hunday]

(…) made with the care of a third-world plumbing system and it was more aerodynamic going backwards. This was the worst model of them all: the Vanden Plas.

That one takes the biscuit!

PS. Ignorants should note that the title is a quote from Rain Man, starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. Here's the brilliant five second version of the movie, made – of course – by thatguywiththeglasses:



SHUT UP!

Laughing Matters

Last weekend Professor Vandelanotte sent us a mail:

[WebCampus - LANGB204] Request for expressions of interest: possible excursion to Leuven this Wednesday on laughing matters

Dear all,

This message is intended primarily (but not necessarily exclusively) for students in the Dutch-English section, and is in fact more connected to the course in general linguistics than to the proficiency course (but since fewer people have so far registered for the former on WebCampus, I'm going with the latter now).

Now that the 'souper de cours' has been postponed to a later date, it becomes possible for you to consider joining me for an evening of laughter and merriment in Leuven this coming Wednesday -- or at least for an evening composed of an academic lecture on the topic of laughter and merriment, followed by an excellent film allowing you to put the theory amply into practice.

As part of its 'Laughing matters' programme, Cinemazed is organizing a talk by Geert Brône from the University of Leuven, this Wednesday at 6 pm (in Dutch), on the topic of 'Humortheorieën en humoronderzoek' [http://www.cinemazed.be/FILMS/FEBRUARI%2008/lezingbrone.shtm]. The link with the general linguistics course is obvious, since the last text we will read for this course is an article by Geert Brône on hyper- and misunderstanding in interactional humour (specifically in the sitcom Blackadder). His talk will be illustrated with examples from sitcoms and films, so it will not be a dry, impenetrable, boring talk at all.

At 8 pm (following a break, of course), the fun continues with the exceedingly hilarious film 'The Big Lebowski' [http://www.cinemazed.be/FILMS/FEBRUARI%2008/BIGLEBO.shtm], written by the world famous Coen brothers, and widely known in the English-speaking word [sic, SL] for the immortal quote "The Dude abides". See also [http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0118715/].

At such short notice this excursion (if it takes place at all) is of course not obligatory. However, if you're interested, it would involve taking the 4.21 train to Brussels, changing over at Ottignies for the 4.50 train to Leuven arriving at around 5.27. A brisk walk should get us to Cinemazed just in time. As for the return journey, the 10.33 train from Leuven would get you back to Namur by 11.39.

You would certainly have to pay for the train fare yourself (using your 'carte famille nombreuse' might just be cheaper than using up two gopass rides). As for the lecture and the film, depending on the interest I would try to get some free tickets for the talk and possibly see if the English Unit can sponsor tickets (which would cost 4 euros per activity for students).

Can I ask anyone who's interested to please let me know either by return of mail, by replying briefly to this e-mail, or at the latest on Monday, in real life.

Many thanks and best wishes,
L. Vandelanotte

--

Lieven VANDELANOTTE
Stylistique et maitrise de la langue anglaise II (Faculté de Philosophie et Lettres)
WebCampus

Since I'm always interested in excursions and opportunities to go somewhere else than Namur, I immediately told Professor Vandelanotte to count me in. I thought it would definitely be great fun to go to Leuven and watch The Big Lebowski: I had previously heard a lot of good reviews about the film on YouTube. Moreover, it was also an opportunity to attend a lecture on a branch of linguistic studies that is relatively unknown.

Actually only seven of us were willing to go there: Guillaume (BA3), Nolan and Pitchou (who went there by car), but also Bruno, Magali, Martin and myself. We took the train with Professor Vandelanotte, as you can see in the two pictures below.


In the above picture, we were trying to put the "cheese!" strategy into practice, as you can see. Nice effort, though!

Just before we arrive in Leuven, I took this photograph, because Professor Vandelanotte lives in this row of houses. Will you be able to guess which one it is?


From the station, we headed for the conference room, walking fast to be sure to arrive on time. (That was the "brisk walk" mentioned in the e-mail.) The talk began at 6.05 pm. Researcher Geert Brône made a brilliant speech about the history of laugh studies, from the Greek philosophers to the modern cognitive linguists. He also explained the different kinds of humour techniques and showed some funny stuff (a.o. the silly walk sketch by the Monty Python) in order to illustrate his sayings.

At 7.20, the talk ended and we went to the Market Place to find a chippie (or frietkot, as we say) and get some chips. At 8 o'clock the film began. Here's the five second version of the movie made by thatguywiththeglasses:



If you like swearwords, this video is for you: the f*cking short version:



The Big Lebowski is basically a story about the Dude (Jeff Bridges) and his friends, amongst whom Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) and Donny Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi).



The Dude abides, indeed!

The Nostalgia Critic is back

For those you still don't know who TheNostalgiaCritic is, let's say that he's thatguywiththeglasses, a genius who came up with the idea of 5 second movies. A few days ago, he posted this interesting video:



I loved the door joke at the end.

He also posted a response to his own Cloverfield preview I talked about previously:

300

This entry is the 300th I wrote for this blog. That's quite a number, don't you think. It obviously make me think of the movie, 300, which I haven't seen yet. Perhaps in another life. Meanwhile, we can enjoy thatguywiththeglasses' parody in 5 seconds:



And this one (which I've perhaps already displayed before):



Here are two videos I found a month ago but I was keeping just for the sake of this 300th blog entry. The first one is a video about the Top 100 quotes in the (English-speaking) movie history.



However, I'm surprised that "I am your father" wasn't in this Top 100…

The second is a marvellous montage of bits of films where a character says a number; here we have the complete count from 100 to 1.



I told you it was brilliant! Thumbs up!

"When this baby hits 88 miles an hour, you're gonna see some serious shit!"

"One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."
[By the way, here's the original version (in the so-called Black Speech of Mordor) of that quote in the book: "Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul." I think it just sounds great.]

Death Notice (2)

This title surely can't precede something good…

Several months ago, I told you about my grandfather's parrot, Coco, an African grey parrot. Well today my mother sent me an e-mail whose title was simply "Coco". My first reaction was that famous catchphrase from the Star Wars saga: "I have a bad feeling about this…". I was right: Coco died in the night. He (in fact: she, but we always used to refer to this parrot by "he") was 44. My uncle says he was born on 26 March 1963. (Hey, isn't that Shakespeare's birth date?)

He told me that he received this parrot from an old lady in 1982. Back then, my uncle was running a book shop in Huy, and the parrot would always greet the customers and utter many usual sounds, such as the bell or the telephone, which he perfectly imitated, being a parrot.

When I was a kid, we would often go to my uncle's shop to say hello and play a little bit with Coco, giving him Tiercé-notes to eat (!). He was really fond of that, but also of sunflower seeds. When my uncle closed his shop in 1998, Coco went to my grandparents', where he stayed until now. Whenever I went there, I would whistle and talk to him, and most of the time he replied, especially when you presented him with a chips or a piece of meat (even chicken, which is thus close to cannibalism), as shown in the picture below:


The whole essence of that creature was caught in this snapshot…

Here are some of the many pictures I took of Coco:

Just eating roast beef, as usual.

Just eating crisps, as usual.

Hasn't he something human in his look?

This is the way he used to go down to his woodlike area.

Don't believe he was trying to eat my finger!

Farewell, Coco!

Tonight, I came back from Namur with my uncle, and we stepped by at my grandparents' to fetch Coco's body, for we wanted to bury it in Aubel, at the back of the garden. (With a single light coming from the house, and Coco being wrapped in a black plastic bag, it was as if we were members of the Mafia secretly getting rid of a body in a cold night…) So, that's what we did: my father dug a hole and we put our old friend in it, while remembering some good moments we spend with him. After my father filled the hole, the emotion seized me and some tears fell on my cheeks — I hadn't cried for ages! I've already suffered the death of several pets, among which Poupoune, my rabbit, but I wasn't that sad. I had always known Coco: he was nearly as old as my mother!

Coco is dead, but life goes on.

All that story reminds me of that sketch about a dead parrot by the Monty Python:

It's bleedin' demised! It's not pining it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life it rests in peace, if you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies, its run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This... is an ex... parrot!

A last thing before I leave you till tomorrow: Coco died exactly 44 years after JFK. Unbelievable! At least, I won't forget the date.

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead definitely kicks ass! It's a British zombie movie that's meant to be silly. As I didn't remember the plot quite well, here's the story in a nutshell (taken from the Wikipedia entry):

The plot focuses on Shaun, an unmotivated young man who is attempting to get some kind of focus in his life as he reconciles with his ex-girlfriend and settles his various issues with his mother and stepfather. At the same time he has to cope with an apocalyptic uprising of zombies that is causing society to collapse.

Here's a video containing some very good scenes of the film.



And a video featuring an appropriate song to fit the footage (and vice-versa):



The humour featured in this movie is typically British, and it is one of the reasons why I warmly recommend it, even if you don't like horror films. There are lots of references to George A. Romero's movie, too.

If you're interested in seeing more of that, check the many videos on YouTube.

Scarface Versus the Whole World

There's a nerd on the Internet whose purpose in life is to make crossovers between the brilliant Scarface by Brian DePalma starring Al Pacino as Tony Montana (the guy who kills everybody at the end and gets killed too)… Here's the summary in 5 seconds (ok, not 5 exactly, but still) by thatguywiththeglasses:

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!!!!!

Here's a first matchup: Tony Montana vs. Rambo (Sylvester Stallone):



Second matchup: Tony Montana vs. the aliens from Independence Day (directed by Roland Emmerich):



Third matchup: Tony Montana vs. the prequel trilogy of Star Wars:



Fourth matchup: Tony Montana vs. the original trilogy of Star Wars:



Fifth matchup: Tony Montana vs. the American fleet in Pearl Harbor:



Sixth matchup: Tony Montana vs. Saving Private Ryan:



Jesus! indeed.

Silly Animation Movies

Remember Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park? Remember guywiththeglasses' Jurassic Park in 5 seconds? Then now prepare to experience… Jurassik Fart!



This video was sent to me by Mr Romero (thank you so much!), and this one as well:



Unfortunately we never come across such cows, even if our cows eat GM food… But who knows, in the future?

These computer-animated videos were made by Pixar.

FIVE SECOND MOVIES ARE BACK!

It seems that newguywiththeglasses (my favourite comedian on YouTube) made up an evil scheme to get his "5 second movies" back on YouTube after they've taking off twice:



That music and that look perfectly highlight the demonic idea of making a separate channel for each of his 5 second movies… Let's hear him talking about the system works:



This is one of the most brilliant and wicked ideas I've ever come across in my whole life. (And I can assure you that I've already come across many, but this one really stands out.)