Waxing for the good of all

Check out this PSA (public service announcement) addressing the issue of deforestation: Harrison Ford doesn't hesitate to show his commitment.

Captain Birdseye

Recently on Facebook I joined a silly group of "Captain Bigleux" fans: "MMMH,ILS SONT FAMEUX LES BATONNETS DEGUEUS DU CAPTAIN BIGLEUX." Captain Bigleux (which is slang for "nearsighted") is a character who appeared in one of the numerous fake commercials by French humorists Les Nuls.



It is basically a spoof on Captain Birdseye (or Captain Iglo in French) 's fish fingers, which here become "bâtonnets dégueux" (i.e. "disgusting sticks")… Captain Birdsey was played by a certain John Hewer, who passed away last year — sadly enough in the most complete indifference from the media.

From Wikipedia:

The actor most associated with Captain Birdseye was John Hewer, a Lowestoft man who played the character from 1967 to 1998. Hewer died on 16 March 2008.^[2] For a while in the late 90s, Captain Birdseye became a much younger, rugged, dark-haired man with designer stubble and a miniature submarine, who indulged in far more action-packed adventures accompanied by his pet pelican named Pedro, the advertising agencies presumably believing that the older white-bearded man would no longer have the same appeal to children as he once did. This version did not last long however, and the better-known version soon returned.

Here are two commercials from the 80s:



Is it me or does he look like a pedophile decoying his victims with fish fingers?


The most interesting part is that people posted a lot of silly pictures which I felt necessary to show you:









This is how you prevent your bike from being stolen in the Netherlands.

I'm a Gates… and I'm a Seinfeld

Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld to challenge "I'm a Mac… and I'm a PC" ads?



Here's the first commercial featuring Gates and Seinfeld:



(Note the picture on Bill's discount card!)

Here's another one, featuring the long version:



Of course it didn't take much time for Apple "I'm a Mac… and I'm a PC", mocking the fact that Microsoft spends $300 million on an advertising campaign instead of fixing Vista bugs… (*tuttering*)

Bill Gates' giving a speech to a Harvard class. (From Uncyclopedia.)

"Aliens have all the fun"

Check out this brilliant Simpsons commercial for Burger King — or the opposite, you choose.

SuperEnvelope: the world's biggest envelope

Dell's response to the launch of Apple's MacBook Air.



Made on a Mac, of course! Long live !

Tomorrow I'll talk about the new MacBooks, so stay tuned.

This is ad-equate

Here's a good compilation of true and fake funny commercials:

Surprise in the mail

Just a very funny fake commercial made for Alles kan beter:

Male driving

The other day I posted a video showing a woman having some trouble getting into a parking lot which she didn't seem to find too small. I also wondered if it wasn't a coincidence that the driver was a woman. There's a common belief that women can't drive, and that's sometimes fair to say that. Fortunately, such things as the parking disaster aren't common place. Besides, men can be terrible at driving as well. Here's a video on the origins of the phenomenon:



A silly commercial:



A picture slideshow featuring some car wrecks, most of which are to be attributed to male drivers in my opinion:



1:26 --> Welcome to Kazakhstan!

Rally drivers (all men, of course: women are clever enough not to take part in these races) are known to be dumb, stupid, daft, idiotic jackasses. In the following video, none of them manages to get past a corner successfully:



Note that gradually more people came to witness the accidents!

Soldiers driving a Hummer in Iraq:



"We brake for nobody"

I'm hungry…

If you're starving, don't watch this!



Never go to McDonald's, because here's what you might find in your meal:



Yummy!

The following video shows you university students of Berlin Technical University making fries in a kind of mechanical manner…



If you ever happen to go to New York, make sure to go to Pommes Frites:



You don't even find such giant cones in Belgium!

And to conclude, let's watch this commercial for Mora which I find hilarious:

John Cleese strikes back

As a hors-d'œuvre before today's presentation on John Cleese that I'll be doing with Martin/Waldorf, let's watch this sketch where John tries to find a replacement, a "Cleese Idol" so that his comedic legacy may live on… This pseudo-contest was part of a Just For Laugh show in Montreal.



I also found a kind of commercial to promote the BBC:

Aw!

I wanted to show you a short series of pictures I recently found on the Internet. Enjoy.

"Oh-oh!"

A silly advertisement:


Imagine the pain a split second after this photograph was taken…


This guy is about to get an appointment at the dentist's:


Say goodbye to your privates!


Now take a look at the most horrific picture of this entry:


It's freaky to realise that people thought they were fashionable with that kind of look in the 1980s…

A nice compilation to remember to look at the bright side of life even when your life is a piece of shit when you look at it:

The Danish know how to be effective

If you're not the kind of person that enjoys fastening his or her seatbelt, I suggest you watch this clip from Denmark:



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Denmark, aka Legoland (see Lego bricks).

MacBook Air gets pwned!

Remember the commercial announcing the brand-new MacBook Air?



(The music playing is "New Soul" by Yael Naïm.)

Check out this parody:



Pwned!

Wikipedia:

Etymology

The word "pwn" may have arisen and spread as a common typo of the word "own," since the 'p' and 'o' keys are adjacent on a standard English keyboard. ^[1][2] Alternatively, the word pwnage may have been created as a portmanteau of the words "pure" and "ownage," "perfect" and "ownage," or "powerful" and "ownage." Similarly, "pwn" may have derived from "powerfully owned," such as "you just got powerfully owned!" (shortened to "you just got pwned!").

Pronunciation

Given the recent development of the word and its primary use in written form only, there is no single accepted pronunciation of pwn. However, "own", "pawn", "poon" and "pone" are frequently used, and "pwen" is also considered an acceptable pronunciation.^[3]

The MacBook Air, why the hell not?



And a glimpse on prehistoric times:




Next year, I bet we'll get something even thinner: the MacBook Helium:

Le retour de Les Nuls

It has been quite a while since the last time I mentioned Les Nuls, a group of three (of four, when Bruno Carette was still alive), so I thought it was high time I posted some videos. Take for instance this compilation of so-called news about Régis, the perfect idiot:



I also like this fake advertisement:



And a song from La Cité de la peur (1994), a film I'd like to discuss in the near future if I have time:



La Carioca is performed by Alain Chabat and Gérard Darmon.

"Hello, Mr Horse" (David Walliams as Lou Todd, in Little Britain season 2)

Audi came up with a terrific commercial for its new R8:



This was a perfect example of a commercial that will never work with most people, because it's a reference to Coppola's Godfather. Maybe it would be interesting to situate the scene first: Johnny Fontane came to his godfather, Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) because he needed his help: Jack Woltz, an influent Hollywood producer, turned him down for playing the main part he wanted in a new movie. Johnny is a bit desperate:



So, Don Vito sends his consiglieri Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) to Jack Woltz in order to make him an offer he can't refuse… But Jack Woltz still refuses to take Johnny Fontane for the role—in fact because Johnny slept with one of his mistresses. Tom has no other option than to take the hard way:



The spoofed scene in the commercial is thus Jack Woltz finding the head of his valuable racehorse Khartoum when he wakes up!

P.S. Note that the character of Johnny Fontane presents uncanny resemblances to Frank Sinatra's career, who was "mysteriously" helped…


Today's featured Uncyclopedia article: The Godfather, of course!

The film is widely accepted as the greatest film in cinema history, voted number one on most internet websites like Fresh-Tomatos.com and the IMDB. However, it is also the subject of great controversy. Ever since the films release, mass cults have formed. Often, people claimed The Godfather's Vito Corleone was made in the image of Jesus Christ. Evidence for this claim comes from the characters title:

God = Shows the religous side of Vito.

Father = Shows that his father is God.

Putting both words together gets the title "Godfather." Some people continue to believe he has the title because it sounds cool.

The film also arose the disease known as MCD (Marble Cheeks Disease). This disease is caught from when people try to be like Marlon Brando and put marbles in there mouth, only what they fail to realise is that this can lead to a very serious disease, depending on how clean the marbles are. People who still want to pretend to be Marlon Brando have to make sure they sterilise their marbles with bleech before putting them in there mouths.

Brilliant!

Jack Nicholson approves this blog entry

This blog entry is dedicated to Ellen, because I know she's a supporter of Hillary Clinton.

Several days ago, Jack Nicholson officially gave his support to Hillary during a TV commercial for her presidential campaign.



It uses fragments of scenes taken from Batman, The Shining, A Few Good Men and Chinatown.

My favourite YouTuber, thatguywiththeglasses, came up with a witty parody of this ad:

Star Ads

Here's a spoof on those MasterCard commercials ("There are things money can't buy" and such) but applied to Star Wars:



M&Ms gave itself to the Dark Side:



Brilliant! I wanted to show you a commercial with C3PO and R2D2 in a moralistic message against smoking, but as embedding was disabled, just click here to watch the video.

And to conclude, we see that Yoda is addicted to Pepsi, but just like Marty McFly in Back to the Future, the green creature doesn't get a Pepsi free…

Ads, ads, ads

Prison bièsse:



Brilliant!

The following one is probably a fake one, given the incorrect spelling of whose at the end. Thanks to Mr Romero for sharing this with us last year.



That's a shame this is not a real commercial. Quite the contrary, this one is real. (Once again, many thanks to Mr Romero.)



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Disneyland.

Mac vs. PC

"Spécial dédicace" for Pitchou: he asked me to explain the differences between a Mac and a (Windows) PC. I think that these short advertisements deliver a clear message:



True that you always have to buy extra expensive items to enhance your PC — and I'm not even talking about upgrades…




Security problems are really annoying. Especially when you're subject to viruses:



Gesundheit! 114.000 viruses attacking PCs, none for Macs!




Did you catch the difference?




True that PCs crash pretty often, while Mac rarely do. (It happened only thrice with my iBook G4 in three years, and it was just my fault, not the computer's.) I find it pretty awkward that you've got to click on "Start" in order to turn off your computer… That's pretty dumb!

And as a special treat to my old Muppet friend Martin aka Waldorf, I found an old commercial that's a reference to George Orwell's 1984:




Even Bill Gates says Macs rule:

To create a new standard, it takes something that's not just a little bit different, it takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination and the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard. (1984)

Thumbs up!!

It is quite a shame for PCs to have SEVERAL pages on Wikipedia about criticism of Microsoft (the whole company, I mean), while there are no such things for Macs… Well, you can only find this:

Apple has received criticism for not notifying users of system vulnerabilities until a fix is released,^[85] and has been accused of pressuring journalists to release their sources, with regards to leaked information about new Apple products.^[86] Apple also has received criticism for its iPhone and iPod integration with iTunes for not facilitating creation of software to run and maintain those devices using different applications tools besides iTunes.^[Source] Apple also has been investigated and criticized for possible sweatshop conditions in factories in China where contract manufacturers make its iPod.^[Source] Apple also has received criticism and two class-action lawsuits at both state and federal level about its iPhone product only allowed service through AT&T and the recent software update that made the iPhone useless if it was to be unlocked using a different tool that cited monopolistic and antitrust allegations between the two companies.^[89]

Basically, these are just legal issues. They are indeed to be condemned, but as far as the computers are concerned, it doesn't matter a lot. Quite the contrary, here are the links to criticism on Microsoft products:

• For criticism of Windows Vista, see Criticism of Windows Vista
• For criticism of Windows XP, see Criticism of Windows XP
• For criticism of Windows 2000, see the criticism section of the Windows 2000 article
• For criticism of Windows Me, see the criticism section of the Windows Me article
• For criticism of Windows 9x, see the criticism section of the Windows 9x article
• For criticism of Internet Explorer, see Criticism of Internet Explorer
• For criticism of Microsoft Office, see the criticism section of the Microsoft Office article

To finish with, why wouldn't you read this Uncyclopedia entry on Scientology. Some quotes to give you an idea:



“Whoa... I must have been so high.” — L. Ron Hubbard

“I'd say it's horse shit, but I've never seen a horse's ass that big.” — Oscar Wilde on Space Opera in Scientology

“Scientology is the stupidest thing i've ever heard of .” — 99.99999999999% of the population of the universe on scientology

“ROFL” — God

“LMAO” — Buddha

“I once did scientology, but they never called me back.” — Oscar Wilde

Mac Rules

What can you do apart from saying "Aaaahhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"? And wait, watch the guided tour:



Ok, this laptop doesn't have an optical drive, but the wireless technology sorts out the problem quite simply by accessing an optical drive of another computer ("Remote Disc" function). I admit it's a little bit insane. Basically, this laptop is wonderful if you just want to have the world's thinnest notebook, but apart from that, I don't see the point in making it so thin that you don't even have an optical drive… What if you're on a train and want to watch a DVD? You're kind of pissed off.

PS. It will be in sale in a couple of weeks' time on Apple Store; prices starting at €1700.

I found those silly animations on Uncyclopedia, and I just wanted to show them to you…

And this one, about Darth Ratzi, aka Satan Claus:

Santa Claus, pleading to the Soviets after an exploding cigar vaporized his beard

One word: ROFL.