Male driving

The other day I posted a video showing a woman having some trouble getting into a parking lot which she didn't seem to find too small. I also wondered if it wasn't a coincidence that the driver was a woman. There's a common belief that women can't drive, and that's sometimes fair to say that. Fortunately, such things as the parking disaster aren't common place. Besides, men can be terrible at driving as well. Here's a video on the origins of the phenomenon:



A silly commercial:



A picture slideshow featuring some car wrecks, most of which are to be attributed to male drivers in my opinion:



1:26 --> Welcome to Kazakhstan!

Rally drivers (all men, of course: women are clever enough not to take part in these races) are known to be dumb, stupid, daft, idiotic jackasses. In the following video, none of them manages to get past a corner successfully:



Note that gradually more people came to witness the accidents!

Soldiers driving a Hummer in Iraq:



"We brake for nobody"

Ode to Joy

Just watch Beaker (i.e. one of the Muppets, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's scientific assistent) who multiplied himself in order to recreate Beethoven's Ode to Joy ("a choral symphony for four solo voices, chorus, and orchestra", "in the fifth and final movement of his Ninth Symphony", as stated on Wikipedia [because I don't know anything about classical music]) — for Statler and Waldorf's delight, of course.



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Beethoven.

This image proves that Beethoven was either a pimp, the villain The Joker from the Batman comics or a very angry man

Episode III gets reviewed

I recently found a really good review of Star Wars Episode III and I thought it could be interesting to feature it on this blog, among the other piles of random stuff that I accumulate on a daily basis. (I hope some of you saw the film, at least…)



"Count Dracula shows up. The Chancellor says: 'Get help. You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.' Dude, where are they gonna get help?!?"

" … and what does this shithead ever do to make you fall in love with him? All he ever did was bitch everyone else including Ooba-Dooba, make blatantly treacherous remarks and — I wanna stress this again — he committed mass murder and Ooba-Dooba knows it."



"Obi-Wan must carefully sneak up to his position. So naturally, since he must be as covert as possible, he picks the biggest, loudest thing he can possibly find to ride up there. This thing makes noises like a dying giraffe: it's so loud the whole damn planet would be alarmed to its presence, and the damn thing even starts shouting right at the enemy's base!"

"The Emperor whips out a lightsaber and does some of that jumping around crap. The three Jedi Windu brought with him use an ancient Jedi defence technique known as 'Standing There And Letting Your Opponent Kill You', until it's soon just Windu vs. the Chancellor."



"'But wait, Obi-Wan! If Leia is my sister, then who was our mother?'
'Ow… she was the Queen of Naboo. But when things didn't work out between her and your father she lost the will to live and just up and died.'
'Ya know, she was having two kids… She didn't think it was worth living for us?'
'I guess not, Luke.'
'Oh, what a bitch!'"

Chuck Norris facts

Are you familiar with an Internet phenomenon called "Chuck Norris Facts"? After watching this video with the actor himself, you'll know what I'm talking about.



Here are some more Chuck Norris facts that I found in the video description:

"Children go to bed in Superman pajamas, while Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pajamas."

"When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris."

"Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land."

"Chuck norris doesn't need a watch he just decides what time it is."

"Chuck Norris doesn't read. He stares at the book and the book gives him information."

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits."

"When Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands and came back, it was just called the Islands."

"Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse."

"There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live."

"Chuck Norris is able to divide by zero."

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity ... Twice."

"Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

"Chuck Norris has the best poker face. He won the 1983 World Poker Tournament, using a hand containing a ticket stub, Monopoly money, a 2 of Clubs, a 5 of Hearts, and a Green #4 card from Uno."

"Chuck Norris leaves messages BEFORE the beep."

"Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it."

"When you search Chuck Norris on Google and spell his name wrong, it doesn't say 'did you mean Chuck Norris', it says 'Run while you have the chance.'"

"Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds."

"When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy."

"Chuck Norris died 2 years ago but death fears to say it to him"

"Chuck Norris's calendar jumps from March 31st to April 2nd....because nobody fools chuck Norris"

"Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo"

"Chuck Norris can beat rock with scissors."

Don't forget to check out this website: ChuckNorrisFacts.com


Featured Uncyclopedia article: Chuck Norris, obviously.

Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was younger; there were no survivors.

Meet a friend of his, Zidane:

Another silly video

"Thanks for coming, welcome to the White House." *Fart* [Looks surprised and amazed.]

Hopeless attempt

Finding a parking space isn't easy. Getting your car parked on it might be a right kerfuffle, as shown in the following video.



PS. The driver turns out to be a woman. Is it a coincidence?
;-) to Alexandre

Purple Boy

In the early 1990s I used to watch cartoons called The Dick Tracy Show, as part of the show Nouba-Nouba. I remember it beceause I kept an episode on a cassette, "The Purple Boy".



(I love Pruneface's face when he says the painting is worth a fortune.)

PS. If you know this series, please inform me. (That's what we call a fool's hope.)

Language Lab

For those of you who would miss this kind of course:

The Dark Knight

Today I went to the cinema to see The Dark Knight. This is truly the best film I've seen in years, not only for the brilliant script, dramatic scenes, perfect photography, but also for Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. It wasn't Ledger on the screen, but just the Joker. Jack Nicholson's performance in Batman was already fantastic, but here Ledger gives the character a new dimension, namely that of a psychotic villain killing just to satisfy himself, and enjoying creating chaos in Gotham City. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if Ledger is awarded a posthumous Academy Award in March 2009, and if the film is nominated for Best Picture as well: Christopher Nolan did a marvellous job — just like in Batman Begins, being the mastermind behind both the script and the camera. I'm definitely going to see this movie a couple of extra times! I highly recommend it to you, even if you don't give a shit about the Batman franchise; go and watch it for the sake of it. Maybe this scene featuring Ledger will further convince you:



"This town deserves a better class of criminals. And I'm gonna give it to 'em. Tell all your men they work for me now."
"They won't work for a freak!"
"Frrrreak?"

And here's just another excellent trailer:



"Dent! Jesus! I thought you was dead…"
"Half." --> Brilliant. Harvey Dent / Two-Face's make up was terrific!

As a bonus, I even found the complete opening scene of the movie, a clever bank robbery by the Joker. If you never watch the videos I feature, please watch at least this one!!!

The sound of music

The Dark Knight D-Day minus 1! Meanwhile, let's listen to some good pieces from the soundtrack composed by Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard.

Track 8: Like a dog chasing cars



Track 12: Introduce a little anarchy



Track 14: A Dark Knight

National Day

Just like last year (and actually like in 2004, 2005 and 2006) I went to Brussels with my brother to take part to the Belgian National Day celebrations. This time we took the car to get there, but it was quite difficult to find a proper parking lot, because it was forbidden to park in a lot of streets for "security reasons", I suppose. My brother and I walked to the Cathedral, where a so-called te deum mass was taking place; the majority of important politicians, magistrates, judges, ambassadors and some members of the royal family were attending the ceremony. On the following picture, you can see the Prime Minister's car (A.2) and Mr Reynders's car (A.3). (Incidentally, A.1 belongs to the president of the Chamber of Representatives, i.e. Herman Van Rompuy.)


In front of the Cathedral lots of pro-Belgium, pro-monarchy people were waiting for the King to appear, shouting "Vive le Roi !". Curiously I didn't hear the same slogan in Dutch. However, "België best" (instead of the nationalistic "België barst") was embroided on a flag. There were more people than last year, as I can recall.


The King, the Queen and their sister-in-law Queen Fabiola got out of the Cathedral and got in their luxury cars. (I found that quite unfortunate, since King Albert II complained about poverty in his semi-annual speech the very day before. He was saying that we (i.e. not him) had to make an effort to help people who are in need. My first reaction was to say that he could spend his own money on that, because His Majesty's fortune is one of the biggest in Europe.) The cars were preceded by a hundred of splendid horses.

After that I walked with my brother to the Place Jourdan where the famous "Friterie Antoine" is located. We bought chips (2,20 € for a pack) and we ate them in the park just next to the European Parliament and the Institute of Natural Sciences. Then we walked in the streets of Ixelles/Elsene before we slowly got to the heart of the city, finally reaching the Court Hall where the police had installed all sorts of stands promoting their administration. Here's a photograph taken from the Court Hall, showing you that a bad spell of weather was coming.

We continued our walk through Brussels, passing in front of the well-known Manneken Pis (wearing the same awful clothes as last year), then we strolled on the Grand Place.



After that, we wanted to get to the Belgian Parliament, in order to visit it for the fourth time, but there were so many people on the Rue de la Loi / Wetstraat due to the military parade that it was impossible to get to the Parliament, let alone all those umbrellas! (By the way, it was the first time in five years that it was raining.)



So we gave up, swearing that we would get back next year, unless Belgium doesn't exist anymore.



Note: you can also read my account on last year's excursion in Brussels; there are some interesting parallels. Some things changed, like the price of a pack of chips: 2,20 € instead of 2,10 €, while potatoes are cheaper than last year!

I was especially surprised by the accurateness of a prediction I had made: "Nous sommes passés devant le Ministère (non, SPF) de la Défense, où André Flahaut, à l’entrée, un verre de champagne à la main, accueillait pour la dernière fois ses généraux et autres chefs d’état-major." Indeed, we know that Mr Flahaut (Parti Socialiste) has been replaced by Mr De Crem (Christen-Democratisch & Vlaams) and that the latter's politics are far from being as liberal as that of his predecessor. As a result, there was no party for army officials in front of the Ministery! Generals and other that scum "working" in headquarters must regret Mr Flahaut and his soft politics that made of the Belgian army an amusement park.

Greece v Germany

Missing the Euro 2008 football compatition? Coming directly from Monty Python Live at Hollywood Ball here's the long-awaited football match opposing Greek and German philosophers!!!



"Beckenbauer is a bit of a surprise there…"

"Nietsche has just been booked for arguing with the referee."

Brokebat Mountain

Yesterday I was telling you about the biggest pile of poo in the movie history, Batman & Robin. It was notably criticised for Batman and Robin having so-called "Bat nipples" on their Batsuits, arguing that director Joel Schumacher wanted to give them a gay look. That would of course strengthen that feeling of the "ambiguously gay duo" (as in the song) in the minds of the opposants to Schumacher's conception of the franchise. However, this alleged gay tone allows us to find highlight some interesting lines, and to make use of them in subtile parodies of the Brokeback Mountain theme.

"All you could think about was dick" --> LMAO

"Can you feel it coming?"

"You're not thinking straight."

And I almost forgot to show you the best part of the movie: you'll be surprised:





Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Batman.

NostalgiaCritic analyses… "Batman & Robin"!

Here's the trailer of the most awaited critic/critique of one of the worst movies (or "pile of shit", I should write) that has ever been created. I even watched this "thing" this very afternoon, just to have a good laugh and then after I re-watched the brilliant review made by thatguywiththeglasses.



Perhaps you are willing to watch the movie trailer — but don't do it if you don't want to waste 2,5 minutes of your life.



Now, if you're ready, please watch this amazing review (sorry but there's no imbedding on his website):

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/nostalgia-critic/34-nostalgia-critic/234-batman-and-robin

And now for something completely absurd…

Bicycle Repairman! (From Monty Python's Flying Circus, of course.)

Hancock

I'm definitely going to see this movie in the upcoming weeks, because I was stunned by the trailer (which you can watch below) and also by the positive critics that I've read. Moreover, the fact that the story is about a fallen superhero who gets drunk appeals me, perhaps because it's satirical and because it's unusual for a superhero, precisely.

The Clone Wars

The Clone Wars, this brand new computer-animated movie meant to take place between Episode II and Episode III sounds definitely promising. I'm looking forward to watching it!





If you liked the French version of the new trilogy, the following trailer shows us that the same voice actors (e.g. Roger Carel as C3PO, Emmanuel Garijo as Anakin, Jean Lescot as Yoda, Georges Claisse as Darth Sidious) were hired:

Robinson Sucroë

For cartoon nostalgics amongst you (if any), I've found the first episode of Robinson Sucroë, a spoof on Daniel Dafoe's Robinson Crusoe:









If you know this series, please post a comment!

If you feel like singing the song, here are the lyrics (which, I admit, I could still recall):

Robinson Sucroé avait promis de raconter sa vie
Sur une p'tite île déserte il avait trouvé l'endroit rêvé
Le ciel bleu, plage dorée, les tapis de bandes vertes
Mais il sut la vérité! Son île était surpeuplée, c'était dur!
Il y avait des Touléjours, des pirates tout autour.
Robinson t'as des ennuis, heureusement y'a Mercredi.
Robinson Sucroé, c'était fatal, devenait paresseux
Mercredi, à sa place, dans le journal, parlait de monstres affreux.
Pour Floyd c'était ainsi le succès chaque semaine
Uglyston était jaloux, préparait des mauvais coups pour prouver
Qu'il y avait des Touléjours, des pirates tout autour.
Robinson t'as des ennuis, heureusement... Y'a Mercredi!

Disclaimer: It was purely accidental that I post a video in French on the Fourteenth of July (aka Bastille Day).

The audience is now deaf

Today I'd like to show you two parodies of the well-known THX trailers's "Deep Note", i.e. the audio logo that's the trademark of the sound system.



Wikipedia: "The 1992 made-for-video feature Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation shows a Deep Note–like trailer blasting a theatre, concluding with the text 'THUD: The Audience Is Now Deaf.'"



I really love this movie. I watch it every 30 June.

Wikipedia (again, I'm lazy today): "In a 1994 episode of The Simpsons entitled "Burns' Heir", a THX trailer plays before a film, blowing the audience back, shattering eyeglasses, teeth, and even causing one person's head to explode; The audience whoops in response. Grampa Simpson shouts, "Turn it up! Turn it up!" This segment was later turned into a THX theatrical trailer."

Alles kan beter (6)

Who said that Italians spoke with their hands? Jean-Pierre Detremmerie, president of the football club of Mouscron, is "interviewed" by Mark Uytterhoeven:

Harry Potter is the Dark Knight

Some funny stuff, as usual: someone edited clips from the first Harry Potter movie so that they correspond to the Dark Knight second trailer:



Another try, but with fragments from all the HP movies:



I prefer this one, though:



A bonus: a Harry Potter version of the Indiana Jones 4 trailer:

Back to the… past (for a change) – Part III: Stay at the seaside

What can I tell you that's worth sharing about my holiday in my favourite coastal town?

First I arrived there on 30 June, in the evening. We went there by car, my parents were just staying that night because they had to take care of Curtis (our cat) the following days. From 1 July to 6 July I rode my bicycle with my uncle and my brother on the smooth and safe coastal roads, and it was great fun: 300 km in total. I could have ridden a little bit more if there had been less wind and rain.

Apart from that, I saw a dozen of new Belgian licence plates, i.e. three digits preceding three letters, such as:

This one was the very first one I saw, hence the picture. Such plates are given out by the DIV (Direction pour l'Immatriculation des Véhicules / Dients voor de Inschrijving van de Voertuigen) since 25 June, but just for car owners that apply for a plate via the Internet. Plates with the now older code (e.g. YRJ-983, the newest plate I've seen so far) are still issued in local DIV offices. If, like me, you prefer that older code, you know what to do if you want to get one. I'll tell you more about these new plates in a forthcoming blog entry.

On 4 July (Independence Day, I know) my brother and I decided to go to Knokke. In Zeebrugge we got to see this amazingly huge ship:

We couldn't resist going to the "Place M'as-tu-vu" (as we nickname it, instead of Place Albert) and act as chavs in the middle of obviously rich people wearing white trousers and shirts with awful pink stripes. We ate a "Luikse wafel" and made silly comments about the city. I was surprised by the number of vanity plates I had seen, e.g. SAY·007, IJS-101, GRA-004, TM-865, OOO-200, RAP-001, BOB-004, etc. "Spekje voor m'n bekje", as I can recall from Konnex.

Notice the yellow stickers with a Flemish lion on both our bikes…

We also saw an old Russian submarine that we visited some ten years ago in Zeebrugge harbour. Admire this symbol of the communist warefare!

Another day, I saw this interesting vanity plate:

Maybe the owner works for Toys'r us or something…

An interesting photo for trainspotters: 78 + 13 + 16 (these numbers representing the locomotive's type, or, as we say, the "series").

Well that's about all I have to tell about my trip. I'm already looking forward to my next stay at the Belgian (or should I say "Flemish"?) seaside.

Back to the… past (for a change) – Part II: Results

On 27 June we had the opportunity to take the train to go to Ypres for a bike excursion organised by Prof Mettewie, Mrs Lievens and Mr Van Mensel. Most of us took the train in Namur and we arrived some three hours later in Ypres. We visited the In Flanders Fields museum, which focuses on the different origins of soldiers who fought during the First World War. Later we took a bike and visited several places such as graveyards, riding along canals. We were back in Namur For more details (and pictures) about this excursion, I refer you to the unofficial germanistes blog, germanamur.skyrock.com.

On 28 June we were "kindly invited" to go to the faculty to get our exam results. Just like a year ago (time flies!) the L4 room was crowded with students and parents — let alone the teachers. First the names of the first year students who had passed: out of the 45 students that had taken the exams, only 13 of them had passed — which is not a surprise: same rate as last year. Then the three deparment heads gave the names of those who woudn't have to resit exams in August. Fortunately I was amongst them. Here is my full results:

Formation générale
Critique historique : 15
Initiation à une troisième langue étrangère moderne
Stylistique et maîtrise de la langue allemande I : 17
Approches linguistiques
Stylistique et maîtrise de la langue anglaise II : 14
Stylistique et maîtrise de la langue néerlandaise II : 15
Linguistique anglaise II : 18
Lingisitique néerlandaise II : 16
Approches littéraires
Histoire des littératures et des civilisations anglophones II : 16
Histoire des littératures et des civilisations néerlandophones II : 18
Analyse de textes littéraires néerlandophones II : 18
Formation générale à caractère philologique
Linguistique générale (en anglais et en néerlandais) : 15
Théorie littéraire : 16
Résultat : Grande Distinction
Moyenne : 16,18/20
Les crédits correspondant aux activités d'apprentissage de programme de cette année d'étude sont octroyés par le jury.

That's it. I was sure I wouldn't get the greatest fulfilment: it's really difficult to get four times 18/20. Next year it'll be totally unthinkable to get the greatest fulfilment: you need to have an average of 17…

After getting my marks I stayed on the fifth floor to talk with fellow students. Later in the day I went with some friends to a pub in order to have a drink. After that, we went to Mellet, where Melissa had organised a party to raise money for her Erasmus stay in Leuven.

Join me tomorrow for the account on my stay in Westende!

Back to the… past (for a change) – Part I: Barcelona

Let's go for the account on the first part of my holiday: my tip to Spain with Elodie, my "significant other", as would one of my professors write. ;)

First I had to wake up at 3 am to get ready and go to Brussels Airport by 4.30 am to check in. Thanks to Elodie's parents, we arrived just on time and after checking in we waited in the huge terminal, from which a bus took us to the airplane. Since a passenger hadn't shown up to get into the plane, his or her luggage had to be removed, so we had to wait for an extra 20 minutes before taking off.

Two hours later we landed in Barcelona. Due to a pitiful lack of information we didn't know we had to go to terminal A to get our luggage back, while we were in terminal B… After going through security gates and "talked" to several policemen (I use inverted commas because they hardly know a word of English, and since Spanish is like gibberish to me, communication was hampered), we finally found our luggage, approximately two hours after landing…

Anyway, we had plenty of time at our disposal. It was just unpleasant not to be able to find where our luggage was. Fortunately, everything's well that ends well, so let's forget about that. We took the bus to the city centre, then we headed for our hotel, Barcelona Cathedral, right in the "old city". We unpacked and then went our to get some food:

Yep, we found a Quick restaurant not very far from our hotel. The taste of the "Giant" (my favourite hamburger) was identical. The Coke they gave us, however, tasted awful. Moreover, I took an interesting photograph: I noticed that the cleaning ladies use Dutch (!) signs to warn people that the floor is slippery! (Note that Prof. Mettewie was really amazed when I showed her the picture.)

After that we got back to the hotel and later in the afternoon we went out for a walk in the narrow streets of the old Barcelona. The next day we got up pretty early and we took a metro to go to Barcelona's most famous building: the Sagrada Familia cathedral, Antoni Gaudí's masterpiece.

Usually I hate churches, but I wanted to see this one for its architectural qualities. I was amazed to see all the different techniques that were specially invented to build this monument.

I'm looking forward to seeing this cathedral when it's completed, probably in 2026. It's a brilliant effort to find new ways to build seemingly impossible structures, but I regret that it was done with a religious aim in mind.

After eating at a nearby KFC restaurant (yummy!) we went to a really pleasant park where we relaxed some time.

We also went to the harbour, a commercial mall (not my idea) and to several other places. The next day (i.e. 25 June) we went to Barceloneta, the city's beach, where thousands of people were either sunbathing or playing or sleeping or walking.

We also went to the aquarium, but I was relatively disappointed: I had to pay 16 euro… just for myself! So 16 other euro for Elodie… Outrageous! Inside the building the fish and other sea creatures were all right, with even a conveyor belt in a glass tunnel to let us wonder about sharks and whatever fish — but it was nothing to write home about. Well, I just did, but… Oh, forget about that.

Later we went to the Park Güell (also designed by Gaudí) where I took some nice pictures of the city.

Unfortunately, I ran out of battery power so you (and I, obviously) won't get any pictures from the splendid main terrace, "surrounded by a long bench in the form of a sea serpent" (as said in the Wikipedia entry).

On the last day of our trip we didn't get up very early, so we had to rush to pack things up and leave the room before 12 o'clock. We went for a walk and we ate at a McDonald's (don't worry, we also ate local food on other occasions) and in the afternoon we stayed close to our hotel. We took the bus round 6 pm to go to the airport. We waited a bit, checked in and we took off soon after the semi-final of the European football championship, opposing Spain to Russia, began. We landed in Brussels at 11 pm and got our luggage back without any trouble. Who said everything was more complicate in Belgium?

In conclusion, this was a fantastic trip which I spent with a most delightful person, my beloved one who I'll never thank enough for these wonderful four days. I'm already looking forward to our next trip!

Back to the… past (for a change) – Part 0: preview

Oh, come on! It's been weeks that I haven't posted anything on this endless blog and I thought I'd read some words of support and encouragement when I'd come back… Well, once again I was too naive: I received just one comment. Same thing for my two other blogs (germanamur.skyrock and the outrageous one). Please send me some feedback: it's always nice to hear from you!

Now, after this "coup de gueule", let's rejoice because I've got a lot to tell you about what happened between the previous post and today's. I'll divide the events into three episodes (you know I love trilogies, and as was hinted in the heading): first I'll tell you about my trip to Barcelona (Spain), then I'll have a word about 28 July, when we all got the results for our exams, and finally I'll account on my stay at the seaside (more precisely in Westende). I think I've quite a lot to write about all that, but fortunately I've a lot of time to spend on that! I LOOOOOVE HOLIDAYYYYYYYYS!!!