Two years on YouTube

That's right, I signed up for my YouTube account two years ago. Since then I've watched 6,787 videos of which 509 are in my favourites (although the number should be bigger because a lot of them were deleted in the course of years — and it's now even reduced to 506 actually!), I have 223 subscribers and 11,444 people have visited my channel. That is mainly because I uploaded 69 videos which were seen by 3,078,989 people (at 10 am).

Here are my top eleven videos:

("Why top eleven? Because I like to go one step beyond" as would ThatGuyWithTheGlasses say.)

#1: Lou & Andy Swimming Pool
Views: 387,261

#2: Lou & Andy Chessington
Views: 206,456

#3: Andy & Lou -- Blind Date
Views: 145,351

#4: Lou & Andy Ice-Cream
Views: 132,612

#5: Star Wars III - Master Yoda vs Emperor Palpatine
Views: 127,804

#6: Lou & Andy at the Hospital
Views: 121,968

#7: Andy Lou - Bowling
Views: 119,308

#8: Lou & Andy at the Pub
Views: 108,886

#9: Andy and George Michael
Views: 105,121

#10: Andy & Lou -- Baby Jesus
Views: 98,613

#11: Andy & Lou - At the Petshop Buying a Snake
Views: 87,204

Lookalikes (2)

Just another series of uncanny resemblances…




Unbelievable!




What a coincidence!


No wayyyyyy!


So the Red Baron is still alive…


"I bloody told you so!"


Just a bit…


Unbelievable! Exactly what I thought! Wilhelm von Homburg, the guy who played the evil Vigo in Ghostbusters II always made me think of Fred Thompson, another actor/politician.


What a disgrace! (for both, I mean)


Already mentioned as well.


This is definitely the best lookalike ever.

Robot Chicken: Star Wars

I really should watch more of these clips — and you should as well. Enjoy Robot Chicken!



Apparently this comes from a Star Wars special episode, which I have to get my hands on asap.



By the way, this hilarious sketch called "Vader's collect call" was reused in the episode:

Episode III gets reviewed

I recently found a really good review of Star Wars Episode III and I thought it could be interesting to feature it on this blog, among the other piles of random stuff that I accumulate on a daily basis. (I hope some of you saw the film, at least…)



"Count Dracula shows up. The Chancellor says: 'Get help. You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.' Dude, where are they gonna get help?!?"

" … and what does this shithead ever do to make you fall in love with him? All he ever did was bitch everyone else including Ooba-Dooba, make blatantly treacherous remarks and — I wanna stress this again — he committed mass murder and Ooba-Dooba knows it."



"Obi-Wan must carefully sneak up to his position. So naturally, since he must be as covert as possible, he picks the biggest, loudest thing he can possibly find to ride up there. This thing makes noises like a dying giraffe: it's so loud the whole damn planet would be alarmed to its presence, and the damn thing even starts shouting right at the enemy's base!"

"The Emperor whips out a lightsaber and does some of that jumping around crap. The three Jedi Windu brought with him use an ancient Jedi defence technique known as 'Standing There And Letting Your Opponent Kill You', until it's soon just Windu vs. the Chancellor."



"'But wait, Obi-Wan! If Leia is my sister, then who was our mother?'
'Ow… she was the Queen of Naboo. But when things didn't work out between her and your father she lost the will to live and just up and died.'
'Ya know, she was having two kids… She didn't think it was worth living for us?'
'I guess not, Luke.'
'Oh, what a bitch!'"

The Clone Wars

The Clone Wars, this brand new computer-animated movie meant to take place between Episode II and Episode III sounds definitely promising. I'm looking forward to watching it!





If you liked the French version of the new trilogy, the following trailer shows us that the same voice actors (e.g. Roger Carel as C3PO, Emmanuel Garijo as Anakin, Jean Lescot as Yoda, Georges Claisse as Darth Sidious) were hired:

"Short, but pointless" (Ghostbusters 2)

While wandering on YouTube I came across new alternate endings and I wanted to show you some of them. Let's first watch the proof that Count Dooku has become more powerful than any Jedi:



What if Yoda was stronger than Palpatine, after all?



It's a shame that the guy who made it didn't manage to get rid of the digits, but it's a good idea, I think.

EditingRoom came up with a new idea, too: what if Vader decided to kill Luke after telling him the truth?



All too easy…

Now, what if Qui-Gon killed Darth Maul and not the other way round?



What if our old pal Casey Jones (from TMNT) happened to be present on Naboo (incidentally with his garbage truck, of course)?

How does Darth Vader use the bathroom?

The answer to this question, long awaited by millions of Star Wars fans, is given by Emperor Palpatine himself:



Emperor Palpatine warns you against the dangers of time travel and temporal paradoxes:



Please check you the AskPalpatine website for more sketches. Also, if you'd like to ask Palpatine a question, "do not hesitate, show no mercy" (to quote him): it's just a click away.

Uncyclopedia featured articles (yeah, they're back): Time travel, Great Time Travel War of 1871
and The Future:

This article or section is able to see into The Future.

Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.

The modern method of predicting the future.

Predicting the future is a common term among time fans eagerly awaiting its release. The term refers to any leaked information about the future, and assumptions created from that information, as well as pure conjecture. This consists mostly of fans making guesses based on the mistakes of the past, which was widely regarded as only fun for the hardcore time fans. There are many internet discussion forums where the world's greatest minds come together and argue with one another whether the Future will stick to its simple roots, or be a complete sell-out that is all about the graphics.

What makes predicting the future difficult is that it is protected by the CSS encryption algorithm. Anyone who has tried to predict it prior to the 18th century has died; this is not known for certain.

A short selection of things that will happen in the future, according to Uncyclopedia:

In a bit

• Vatican admits pretty much everything was a hoax. Longest April fools joke. Ever.

• The First Church of Spongebob opened

• Earth's magnetic poles mysteriously reverse positions. USA wakes up to discover that it is now in South America.

• Canada buys one (1) tank

Almost but not quite just about right now

• USA colonizes Uranus. Related jokes NEVER get old.

• Canada gets an army

Oh, a long ways off

• All forms of education rendered obsolete by the invention of brain transplants.

• Canada conquers the earth; the USA is exiled to Uranus.

• Terrorists vaporise all Americans left in existence by setting fire to Uranus.

The last moments of the universe

• Humanity becomes intelligent

• Neo Germany makes a funny joke

• Weather service become 100% accuracy

• Bill Gates goes bankrupt

• Britney Spears regains custody of her children

• Death dies

• Chuck Norris wakes up and causes mass destruction

• First time machine made, Church of Scientology buys one and goes back to the start of humanity. Huge disappointment; someone stepped on an internet.

"All's well that ends well"

Alternate endings are a great way of showing how a given story could have been. Storylines like Star Wars could have ended in a wide variety of ways, as you may recall from a series of previous posts. For instance, what if Luke, the hero, didn't manage to grip the antenna when he fell in the shaft on Bespin?



ROTFLOL is the word that sums up my reaction.

Then, what if Luke didn't manage to blow the Death Star and Vader shot him instead?



And… what if Darth Vader felt remorse after killing Luke Skywalker and all of a sudden decided to turn against the Empire? It would give something like this:



What if Yoda was less powerful than he thought?



[Swat!]
Oh, nooo!

What if Anakin underestimated his own powers?



What if everything that has transpired has done so according to the Emperor's design?



Brilliant!

PS. Don't forget to wish a happy birthday to Ellen!

Starry Potter and the Philosopher Hope

Before starting (well, in fact, this is already the start…), I signal that this blog entry is (again) only suitable to people who have already seen Star Wars. Those who haven't not only need to get cultivated and watch them asap, but shouldn't waste their time watching and reading what follows, because otherwise they'd understand nothing at all.

First, if you did see Star Wars, it might be interesting to watch the original trailer of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (released in 2001).



Great music by John Williams. And very good film, though I prefered the third and fifth films in the Harry Potter franchise. Now let's watch this video showing clips from Star Wars to correspond the trailer's text:



Brilliant montage — just like what I featured the other day, namely the crossover between The Departed and Star Wars.

The line I like most is that of Snape (Alan Rickman), but here "said" by Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid)… "Mr Potter……… our…… new……… celebrity."

And whenever I'll watch Episode IV, I'll always have that "Troooooooooooll in the dungeon!!" quote in mind…

"Not all wizards are good…" --> It reminds me of that crossover between the dialogue Vader/Luke from Empire Strikes Back scene and the confrontation Voldemort/Harry in The Goblet of Fire, which I featured several months ago.



If you know both Star Wars and Harry Potter, admit this is great!

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Pope

Remember that I've already told you about the awkward resemblance between Pope Benedict XVI (aka Ratzinger, aka Panzerkardinal) and the evil Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars saga, one of the most demonic vilains in the movie history?

Well, the other time I showed you convincing pictures, and now it's time for you to show actual evidence that Darth Ratzi is as evil as Palpatine, not only because of his grim face…



… but also because of his stands on a great many things (just to quote a couple of words from Return of the Jedi:



This one is called "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Pope", a pun on "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope".



Striking, isn't it? This video was called "Dark Pope of the Sith", a pun on "Dark Lord of the Sith".

And to finish with, some genius had the idea of buying a little sculpture of the pope (which would be, otherwise, really dumb) and dress it with a dark cloak so that… he ended up with something like this:



Even more stricking, wasn't it?

If you don't know what to buy me for my birthday, I'd be delighted to get such a sculpture. It'd make a perfect addition to my collection (just to quote a few words from General Grievous).

Vader Has Problems

Not only has Darth Vader hearing problems…



— Can you hear me?
— Yes, master.
— Are you sure?
— No. --> BRILLIANT

… but also family problems:



— Damned Luke, I'm not your real father! ROFL

And apparently our old pal also suffers from flatulence:



This was just to end with a really silly video. More of Fart Wars tomorrow, hopefully!

Darth Ratzi: the Pics

Here are some pictures I found on the Internet, showing striking likelinesses between Emperor Palpatine and the evil pope Benedict XVI (aka Jozeph Ratzinger, aka Darth Ratzi).

This is a first picture showing our Darth Razti training at fighting with a lightsaber:


Two other pics showing the everything-but-benevolent look of Palpatine & Ratzi:


Striking, isn't it? But wait, there's more: when Darth Ratzi took control over the dictatorship of Vatican (true: Vatican is the only country of Europe whose head of State is NOT elected by its citizens; and for the record, in kingdoms the head of state is indeed a king/queen, but the Prime minister actually fulfils this function), he raised his arms towards the sky, and almost used his evil powers to shock the crowd (as shown on the picture).



So, now, I hope you see Benedict XVI in a different way. He just looked evil when I first saw him. My insight proved to be true when I heard about what he said about important issues (e.g. contraception, abortion, priests' marriage…), taking ultra-conservative opinions. (But what could we wait from a pope… Who the hell am I kidding?)

Tribute to Georges Aminel

I'm sure nobody knows who Georges Aminel is. Or was. Because he died three month ago. He was 84. He was a French dramatic actor, mostly "known" as the dubbing voice of Sylvester in the Warner Bros. cartoons, the Looney Tunes, but also as Darth Vader's voice in Star Wars Episodes III, V and VI. (In Episode IV, Darth Vader [translated in Dark Vador for matters of pronunciation] was dubbed by another actor, the late François Chaumette.) He died, but I came to know it only two weeks ago, when I read it in Lucasfilm Magazine. Apparently, he didn't share the celebrity of guys like Michel Serrault (cf. my article "News From the Grave" below), and that's why the media didn't have a word about him, not even in the best French-speaking newspaper, Le Soir.

Several months ago, I posted on YouTube a video to pay him a tribute. In fact, it was just that scene from the end of Episode III, when the dark-suited Darth Vader comes to life, after his operation. This video is still the only one available on YouTube to feature Georges Aminel's voice. You'll find it below, and the original version as well.





And I'd just like to show you the French version made especially for Québec. This is awful, in my opinion. I've been posting videos for months on YouTube with a Canadian YouTube penpal, so that we can compare, for I'm pretty much interested in translation, and more precisely on the translation of Star Wars. (I know, it's really silly.) We both prefer the original version, then our "regional" version: he dispises the French version, and I despise the Canadian version, as fas as voices are concerned. I prefer several French-Canadian translations, though: they are more accurate. But the voice just suck. I hope you'll agree with me:

Star Wars: Alternate Ending (2)

Another alternative ending…



(In French, we call this sound a pet mouillé or trace de freinage. Click here or here for more information about that phenomenon.)

Star Wars: Alternate Ending (1)

The concept of alternate endings is brilliant… Here's a terrific example: jumping from Episode III to the end of Episode VI…



Silly, wasn't it. (Obviously, if you don't know Star Wars, you won't find it funny. It means you really should watch those films!)

Promise of Power

This scene from Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, is also one of the most important scenes of the whole saga. There's the original version, followed by the French adaptation.


ORIGINAL VERSION (featuring Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine and Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker)

(In Palpatine's private office)

PALPATINE
They don’t trust you, Anakin. They see your future, they know your power would be too strong to control. You must break through the fog of lies the Jedi have created around you. Let me help you to know the subtleties of the Force.

ANAKIN
How do you know the ways of the Force?

PALPATINE
My mentor told me everything about the Force. Even the nature of the Dark Side . . .

ANAKIN
You know the Dark Side?

PALPATINE
Anakin . . . If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects; not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace . . . a larger view of the Force. Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the Dark Side of the Force, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death.

ANAKIN
What did you say?

PALPATINE
Use my knowledge, I beg you!

ANAKIN
You are the Sith Lord!

PALPATINE
I know what’s been troubling you. Listen to me . . . Don’t continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council! Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi; a life of significance, of conscience . . . Are you going to kill me?

ANAKIN
I would certainly like to.

PALPATINE
I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus. Makes you stronger.

ANAKIN
I’m gonna turn you over the Jedi Council.

PALPATINE
Of course, you should. But you’re not sure of their intentions, are you?

ANAKIN
I will quickly discover the truth of all this.

PALPATINE
You have great wisdom, Anakin. Know the power of the Dark Side, the power to save Padmé.

———————————————————————————————

FRENCH VERSION (with the voices of Georges Claisse as Palpatine and Emmanuel Garijo as Anakin)

(Dans les appartements privés du Chancelier Palpatine)

PALPATINE
Ils n’ont aucune confiance en toi. Ils voient ton avenir, et ils savent que ton pouvoir sera si grand qu’il échappera à leur contrôle. Il faut que tu franchisses cet écran de fumée mensonger que les Jedi ont créé autour de toi. Laisse-moi t’apprendre toutes les subtilités de la Force !

ANAKIN
D’où vous vient cette connaissance ?

PALPATINE
Mon mentor m’a tout appris sur la Force. Jusqu’à la vraie nature du Côté Obscur.

ANAKIN
Vous la connaissez ? !

PALPATINE
Anakin… Si l’on désire tirer au clair le grand mystère, il convient d’en étudier tous les aspects, et non de s’en tenir à la vision étroite et dogmatique des Jedi. Si tu veux devenir un chef complet et avisé, il te faut embrasser … l’ensemble de la Force. Méfie-toi des Jedi, Anakin. Ce n’est qu’à travers moi que tu pourras acquérir un pouvoir plus grand qu’aucun autre Jedi. Apprends à connaître le Côté Obscur de la Force, et tu seras capable de sauver ta femme d’une mort certaine.

ANAKIN
Qu’est-ce que vous dites ? !

PALPATINE
Utilise mes connaissances, je t’en conjure !

ANAKIN
Vous êtes le Seigneur Noir des Sith !

PALPATINE
Je sais d’où vient ton trouble. Ecoute-moi… Cesse d’être utilisé comme un pion par les Jedi et leur Conseil. Depuis que je te connais, depuis toujours, tu rêves d’une vie plus exaltante que celle d’un Jedi ordinaire ; une vie qui ait un vrai sens, une vraie conscience… Est-ce que tu vas me tuer ?

ANAKIN
Je dois dire que la tentation est grande.

PALPATINE
Je sais que tu le ferais. Je sens la violence de ta colère. Elle accroît ta force, et la puissance de ta volonté.

ANAKIN
Je n’ai pas d’autre choix que de vous dénoncer au Conseil.

PALPATINE
Evidemment c’est ce que tu devrais faire, mais tu n’es pas encore tout à fait sûr de leurs intentions ?

ANAKIN
Je ne tarderai pas à découvrir toute la vérité.

PALPATINE
Tu jouis déjà d’une grande sagesse, Anakin. Le Côté Obscur et lui seul te donnera le pouvoir de sauver Padmé.

The Key Scene of the Whole Star Wars Saga

As a Star Wars fan eversince I'm a little boy, I was eager to see the last film of the saga in May 2005. Here is the transcript of what I think to be the most important scene of the whole saga. You'll also find the French translation, and spot a few adaptation that seem a little bit akward, but necessary for the post-synchronisation. (More about that topic later.) The address of this blog comes from this scene. That sentence can be applied to lots of real-life situations, if you think about it.

—————————————————————————————

ORIGINAL VERSION (featuring Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine and Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker)

(In Chancellor Palpatine's private lodge, in the Coruscant Opera.)

PALPATINE
Anakin, you know I’m not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven’t included you in their plot, they will soon.

ANAKIN
I'm not sure I understand.

PALPATINE
You must sense what I have come to suspect . . . the Jedi Council want control of the Republic . . . they're planning to betray me.

ANAKIN
I don't think . . .

PALPATINE
Anakin, search your feelings. You know, don't you?

ANAKIN
I know they don't trust you . . .

PALPATINE
Or the Senate . . . or the Republic . . . or democracy, for that matter.

ANAKIN
I have to admit, my trust in them has been shaken.

PALPATINE
Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they? They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?

ANAKIN
I don't... I don't know what to say.

PALPATINE
Remember back to your early teachings. Anakin. "All who gain power are afraid to lose it." Even the Jedi.

ANAKIN
The Jedi use their power for good.

PALPATINE
Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power.

ANAKIN
The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inwards—only about themselves.

PALPATINE
And the Jedi don't?

ANAKIN
The Jedi are selfless . . . they only care about others.

PALPATINE
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

ANAKIN
No.

PALPATINE
I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith . . . so powerful and so wise . . . he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians . . . to create . . . life. He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side . . . he could even keep the ones he cared about . . . from dying.

ANAKIN
He could actually . . . save people from death?

PALPATINE
The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

ANAKIN
What happened to him?

PALPATINE
He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was . . . losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic: he could save others from death, but not himself.

ANAKIN
Is it possible to learn this power?

PALPATINE
Not from a Jedi.

———————————————————————
FRENCH VERSION (with voices of Georges Claisse as Palpatine and Emmanuel Garijo as Anakin)

PALPATINE
Anakin, tu sais que je ne pourrai jamais me fier au Conseil des Jedi. S’ils ne t’ont pas encore impliqué dans leur complot, ça ne saurait tarder.

ANAKIN
Je ne suis pas sûr de bien comprendre.

PALPATINE
Je suis persuadé que toi aussi tu pressens ce que j’en suis venu à soupçonner : le Conseil des Jedi a décidé de prendre le contrôle de la République. Ils s’apprêtent à s’en prendre à moi.

ANAKIN
Je doute que ce soit —

PALPATINE
Anakin… Ecoute ton intuition. Tu le sais, n’est-ce pas ?

ANAKIN
Je sais qu’ils se méfient de vous.

PALPATINE
Mm. Et du Sénat. Et de la République. Et de la démocratie, par-dessus de marché.

ANAKIN
Je dois l’admettre : ma confiance en eux est un peu ébranlée.

PALPATINE
Pourquoi ? Ils t’ont chargé d’une mission que tu perçois comme profondément déloyale… ? Ils t’ont chargé de m’espionner, c’est ça ?

ANAKIN
Je ne sais pas… Je ne sais pas quoi dire.

PALPATINE
Remémore-toi ce qui t’a jadis été enseigné : « Quiconque détient un pouvoir a peur de le perdre ». Ça vaut pour les Jedi.

ANAKIN
Les Jedi sont au service du Bien.

PALPATINE
Le Bien est une question de point de vue, Anakin. Les Sith et les Jedi sont similaires, ils se ressemblent quasiment en tous points. Y compris dans leur quête d’un plus grand pouvoir.

ANAKIN
Les Sith cultivent la passion de la Force, rien d’autre. Et ils sont entièrement tournés vers eux-mêmes.

PALPATINE
Ah oui ? parce que les Jedi sont différents ?

ANAKIN
Les Jedi sont désintéressés. Ils pensent d’abord aux autres.

PALPATINE
Mm. Est-ce que tu connais l’histoire tragique de Dark Plagueis le Sage ?

ANAKIN
Non.

PALPATINE
Ça ne m’étonne pas. Ce n’est pas le genre d’histoire que racontent les Jedi. C’est une légende Sith. Dark Plagueis était un Seigneur Noir des Sith… tellement puissant et tellement sage… qu’il pouvait utiliser la Force pour influer sur les midichloriens… et pouvait… créer la vie. En outre, sa connaissance du Côté Obscur était telle… qu’il arrivait aussi à empêcher ceux dont l’existence lui importaient… de mourir.

ANAKIN
Vous voulez dire… qu’il avait vaincu la mort ?

PALPATINE
Le Côté Obscur de la Force est un moyen d’acquérir de nombreuses facultés considérées par certains comme contraires à la nature.

ANAKIN
Et… Que lui est-il arrivé ?

PALPATINE
Il était devenu tellement puissant… que la seule chose qui lui faisait encore peur… était de perdre son pouvoir, ce qui, bien sûr, arriva un jour. Il fit l’erreur d’enseigner à son jeune apprenti son savoir et tous ses secrets, et cet apprenti le tua pendant qu’il dormait. Quelle ironie : il avait vaincu la mort pour les autres, mais la sienne, il n’a pas su l’éviter.

ANAKIN
Est-ce qu’il est possible d’acquérir ce pouvoir ?

PALPATINE
En aucun cas auprès d’un Jedi.