All the six Star Wars opening crawls at once

"And if you can read that, you can throw your glasses…"

Indiana Jones IV: just another review

Fanboys

Fanboys tells the story of young Star Wars freaks who try to heist George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch to rob a copy of Episode I because they cannot wait till the release. It's full of references to the original films (and I fear that the French translation will ruin all that) and other geeky gags…

"Howard the Duck" reviewed by the Nostalgia Critic!

"A long time ago a young filmmaker named George Lucas helped create a parallel dimension in a galaxy far, far away. It's a strange world, bizarre aliens and unbelievable creatures. A world that the sci-fi community will never, ever, forget. Okay the punchline is Howard the Duck… For all the strange things that George Lucas has done, whether it'd been [EDIT: "it be" instead] bad, unnecessary or… just downright racist, nothing compares to the weird cinematic bomb that he made the strange choice of producing Howard the Duck. And if you think Jar Jar Binks was bad… HE STILL IS."



"He sits around, drinking beer, smoking cigars and reading the latest edition of 'Playduck'. You know, A KIDS MOVIE!"

"There's no way IN HELL that I'm going to beat DUCK TITS WOO-HOO! I mean, what is the point? You are making a kids movie starring a cute little ducky and you start out with duck tits? Are you mad? What kind of creepy pervert thought that up?!?" I mean, this movie is rated PG, right? And this is considered PG material? Are you seriously telling me that showing female breasts is wrong but showing Daisy's knockers isn't gonna cause any psychological damage?!? I think that the people who rated this movie had psychological damage!

"The human world of the eighties!"

"I'm just gonna have this on stand-by, I hope you don't mind."



"Help! I'm getting my ass kicked by poultry!"

"The scientist continues to re-enact scenes from The Exorcist."

'I'm now one of the dark overlords of the universe…'

"And your mother sucks cocks in hell! Blalalallalaa!! On top of that he can also use his mental powers to do horrible insane things like assassinate table condiments!"

"The odd thing is that even after people leave he just keeps blowing shut up. I guess he just has a real hate for condiments and kitchen utensils."

"After the scientist changes into Albert Einstein's heroin-addict cousin…"

"Oh yeah, you will believe a duck can rock. I also believe that a duck can blow! This is the worst thing that George Lucas has made since… anything not… Star Wars or Indiana Jones related. AND EVEN THAT HE SLOWLY TRIED TO DESTROY!"

Singing Zievereer

Almost a month ago I featured a video showing what the musical Singin' in the Rain would look like if George Lucas decided to re-master (and of course re-edit) it. Now take a look at this amateur singer from Brussels, a new rival for the late Gene Kelly:



This comes from Les Snuls. "Un snul, c'est un type qui est un peu onneuzel, qui est pas tellement intelligent."

Singing in the rain

What if George Lucas decided to make a re-mastered version of the classic Singin' in the Rain and add a very personal touch of his own in passing? Check this out to find out:



For the record, Debbie Reynolds has a real connexion with Star Wars because she's Carrie Fisher's mom, who played Princess Leia in Episodes IV to VI.

Episode III gets reviewed

I recently found a really good review of Star Wars Episode III and I thought it could be interesting to feature it on this blog, among the other piles of random stuff that I accumulate on a daily basis. (I hope some of you saw the film, at least…)



"Count Dracula shows up. The Chancellor says: 'Get help. You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.' Dude, where are they gonna get help?!?"

" … and what does this shithead ever do to make you fall in love with him? All he ever did was bitch everyone else including Ooba-Dooba, make blatantly treacherous remarks and — I wanna stress this again — he committed mass murder and Ooba-Dooba knows it."



"Obi-Wan must carefully sneak up to his position. So naturally, since he must be as covert as possible, he picks the biggest, loudest thing he can possibly find to ride up there. This thing makes noises like a dying giraffe: it's so loud the whole damn planet would be alarmed to its presence, and the damn thing even starts shouting right at the enemy's base!"

"The Emperor whips out a lightsaber and does some of that jumping around crap. The three Jedi Windu brought with him use an ancient Jedi defence technique known as 'Standing There And Letting Your Opponent Kill You', until it's soon just Windu vs. the Chancellor."



"'But wait, Obi-Wan! If Leia is my sister, then who was our mother?'
'Ow… she was the Queen of Naboo. But when things didn't work out between her and your father she lost the will to live and just up and died.'
'Ya know, she was having two kids… She didn't think it was worth living for us?'
'I guess not, Luke.'
'Oh, what a bitch!'"