The Emperor is having a bad day

Robot Chicken is pure genius. Take a look at these fragments from the second Star Wars special episode.

"This is the most wretched hive of scum and villainy" (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope)

Lego Batman and Robin are up to kick some ass, so a lot of villains gathered for an epic struggle in Gotham City:



"Heath Ledger's Joker, Jack Nicholson's Joker, Mr. Freeze, Irina Spalko, Evil Monkey, Darth Vader, Penguin, SpongeBob Squarepants, Bane, the Riddler, my ex-girlfriend, Stewie Griffin, Patrick Star, Skeleton, Kit Fisto… Wait, wait: he's not a villain; he's a jerk… He died, he died of the Emperor. Two-Face, Mr. Krabs, Guy on the Skateboard and Dr Octopus."

Two years on YouTube

That's right, I signed up for my YouTube account two years ago. Since then I've watched 6,787 videos of which 509 are in my favourites (although the number should be bigger because a lot of them were deleted in the course of years — and it's now even reduced to 506 actually!), I have 223 subscribers and 11,444 people have visited my channel. That is mainly because I uploaded 69 videos which were seen by 3,078,989 people (at 10 am).

Here are my top eleven videos:

("Why top eleven? Because I like to go one step beyond" as would ThatGuyWithTheGlasses say.)

#1: Lou & Andy Swimming Pool
Views: 387,261

#2: Lou & Andy Chessington
Views: 206,456

#3: Andy & Lou -- Blind Date
Views: 145,351

#4: Lou & Andy Ice-Cream
Views: 132,612

#5: Star Wars III - Master Yoda vs Emperor Palpatine
Views: 127,804

#6: Lou & Andy at the Hospital
Views: 121,968

#7: Andy Lou - Bowling
Views: 119,308

#8: Lou & Andy at the Pub
Views: 108,886

#9: Andy and George Michael
Views: 105,121

#10: Andy & Lou -- Baby Jesus
Views: 98,613

#11: Andy & Lou - At the Petshop Buying a Snake
Views: 87,204

Weird Al—ternate endings

I recently came across a whole bunch of Star Wars alternate endings by mjscarface, and I tell you: they're really worth watching.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones




Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Luke gets pissed off pretty fast:



Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

The Emperor is not pleased with Vader's lack of progress in searching for the Millennium Falcon…



They should have listened to C-3PO… He's always right…



Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Robot Chicken: Star Wars

I really should watch more of these clips — and you should as well. Enjoy Robot Chicken!



Apparently this comes from a Star Wars special episode, which I have to get my hands on asap.



By the way, this hilarious sketch called "Vader's collect call" was reused in the episode:

How does Darth Vader use the bathroom?

The answer to this question, long awaited by millions of Star Wars fans, is given by Emperor Palpatine himself:



Emperor Palpatine warns you against the dangers of time travel and temporal paradoxes:



Please check you the AskPalpatine website for more sketches. Also, if you'd like to ask Palpatine a question, "do not hesitate, show no mercy" (to quote him): it's just a click away.

Uncyclopedia featured articles (yeah, they're back): Time travel, Great Time Travel War of 1871
and The Future:

This article or section is able to see into The Future.

Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.

The modern method of predicting the future.

Predicting the future is a common term among time fans eagerly awaiting its release. The term refers to any leaked information about the future, and assumptions created from that information, as well as pure conjecture. This consists mostly of fans making guesses based on the mistakes of the past, which was widely regarded as only fun for the hardcore time fans. There are many internet discussion forums where the world's greatest minds come together and argue with one another whether the Future will stick to its simple roots, or be a complete sell-out that is all about the graphics.

What makes predicting the future difficult is that it is protected by the CSS encryption algorithm. Anyone who has tried to predict it prior to the 18th century has died; this is not known for certain.

A short selection of things that will happen in the future, according to Uncyclopedia:

In a bit

• Vatican admits pretty much everything was a hoax. Longest April fools joke. Ever.

• The First Church of Spongebob opened

• Earth's magnetic poles mysteriously reverse positions. USA wakes up to discover that it is now in South America.

• Canada buys one (1) tank

Almost but not quite just about right now

• USA colonizes Uranus. Related jokes NEVER get old.

• Canada gets an army

Oh, a long ways off

• All forms of education rendered obsolete by the invention of brain transplants.

• Canada conquers the earth; the USA is exiled to Uranus.

• Terrorists vaporise all Americans left in existence by setting fire to Uranus.

The last moments of the universe

• Humanity becomes intelligent

• Neo Germany makes a funny joke

• Weather service become 100% accuracy

• Bill Gates goes bankrupt

• Britney Spears regains custody of her children

• Death dies

• Chuck Norris wakes up and causes mass destruction

• First time machine made, Church of Scientology buys one and goes back to the start of humanity. Huge disappointment; someone stepped on an internet.

"All's well that ends well"

Alternate endings are a great way of showing how a given story could have been. Storylines like Star Wars could have ended in a wide variety of ways, as you may recall from a series of previous posts. For instance, what if Luke, the hero, didn't manage to grip the antenna when he fell in the shaft on Bespin?



ROTFLOL is the word that sums up my reaction.

Then, what if Luke didn't manage to blow the Death Star and Vader shot him instead?



And… what if Darth Vader felt remorse after killing Luke Skywalker and all of a sudden decided to turn against the Empire? It would give something like this:



What if Yoda was less powerful than he thought?



[Swat!]
Oh, nooo!

What if Anakin underestimated his own powers?



What if everything that has transpired has done so according to the Emperor's design?



Brilliant!

PS. Don't forget to wish a happy birthday to Ellen!

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Pope

Remember that I've already told you about the awkward resemblance between Pope Benedict XVI (aka Ratzinger, aka Panzerkardinal) and the evil Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars saga, one of the most demonic vilains in the movie history?

Well, the other time I showed you convincing pictures, and now it's time for you to show actual evidence that Darth Ratzi is as evil as Palpatine, not only because of his grim face…



… but also because of his stands on a great many things (just to quote a couple of words from Return of the Jedi:



This one is called "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Pope", a pun on "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope".



Striking, isn't it? This video was called "Dark Pope of the Sith", a pun on "Dark Lord of the Sith".

And to finish with, some genius had the idea of buying a little sculpture of the pope (which would be, otherwise, really dumb) and dress it with a dark cloak so that… he ended up with something like this:



Even more stricking, wasn't it?

If you don't know what to buy me for my birthday, I'd be delighted to get such a sculpture. It'd make a perfect addition to my collection (just to quote a few words from General Grievous).

Star Wars: Alternate Ending (2)

Another alternative ending…



(In French, we call this sound a pet mouillé or trace de freinage. Click here or here for more information about that phenomenon.)