How does Darth Vader use the bathroom?

The answer to this question, long awaited by millions of Star Wars fans, is given by Emperor Palpatine himself:



Emperor Palpatine warns you against the dangers of time travel and temporal paradoxes:



Please check you the AskPalpatine website for more sketches. Also, if you'd like to ask Palpatine a question, "do not hesitate, show no mercy" (to quote him): it's just a click away.

Uncyclopedia featured articles (yeah, they're back): Time travel, Great Time Travel War of 1871
and The Future:

This article or section is able to see into The Future.

Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.

The modern method of predicting the future.

Predicting the future is a common term among time fans eagerly awaiting its release. The term refers to any leaked information about the future, and assumptions created from that information, as well as pure conjecture. This consists mostly of fans making guesses based on the mistakes of the past, which was widely regarded as only fun for the hardcore time fans. There are many internet discussion forums where the world's greatest minds come together and argue with one another whether the Future will stick to its simple roots, or be a complete sell-out that is all about the graphics.

What makes predicting the future difficult is that it is protected by the CSS encryption algorithm. Anyone who has tried to predict it prior to the 18th century has died; this is not known for certain.

A short selection of things that will happen in the future, according to Uncyclopedia:

In a bit

• Vatican admits pretty much everything was a hoax. Longest April fools joke. Ever.

• The First Church of Spongebob opened

• Earth's magnetic poles mysteriously reverse positions. USA wakes up to discover that it is now in South America.

• Canada buys one (1) tank

Almost but not quite just about right now

• USA colonizes Uranus. Related jokes NEVER get old.

• Canada gets an army

Oh, a long ways off

• All forms of education rendered obsolete by the invention of brain transplants.

• Canada conquers the earth; the USA is exiled to Uranus.

• Terrorists vaporise all Americans left in existence by setting fire to Uranus.

The last moments of the universe

• Humanity becomes intelligent

• Neo Germany makes a funny joke

• Weather service become 100% accuracy

• Bill Gates goes bankrupt

• Britney Spears regains custody of her children

• Death dies

• Chuck Norris wakes up and causes mass destruction

• First time machine made, Church of Scientology buys one and goes back to the start of humanity. Huge disappointment; someone stepped on an internet.

Téléchat

Who remembers watching this?



These were the opening credits of the first series of Téléchat, a Belgian-French TV show meant for kids, created in the early 1980s by the late Roland Topor and Henry Xhonneux. The format was that of a pseudo TV news bulletin, with silly reports; absurd humour and nonsense are the main ingredients of this show. Here's an episode:



It also gave rise to a popular crappy series, Léguman:

(Beware, it's completely kitschy)



And advertisements with Pub-Pub:



And here are the end credits:



And for the second series, another presenter, GTI (Grégoire de la Tour d'Ivoire), was introduced:



I never liked the new opening credits… Anyway, if you know this series, please let me know.

And as would Grouchat say: Chalut, à demain si on veut bien !

PS. Notice that Philippe Dumat (most known for voicing over Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes IV, V and VI of Star Wars, but also Gargamel in the Smurfs cartoons) lent his voice to the phone and the iron, but also the "gluon du trou".

PPS. Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: the Have-nuke-istan. To give you an idea:

Have-nuke-istan, officially The People's Democratic Republic of Have-nuke-istan (Have-nuke-istanian: Have-nuke-istan), is a small, dirty country where the men are bald, the women are bearded, and the children are below average. Current intelligence suggests that Have-nuke-istan is not located in the United States of America, which means that the country is simultaneously below contempt and extremely dangerous/evil. Despite its name, there is no indication that Have-nuke-istan possesses any nuclear weapons; in fact, "Have-nuke-istan" is Have-nuke-istanian for "Up yours, Russia."

The article about Ghettoistan is not bad, too. Fragment:

Number of Non-Muslim Ghettoistanis beheaded since you began reading this article:

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