"Twice the pride, double the f—"

Anakin doesn't like long talks: he always does his job as swiftly as possible:



"Good job!"

Weird Al—ternate endings

I recently came across a whole bunch of Star Wars alternate endings by mjscarface, and I tell you: they're really worth watching.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones




Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Luke gets pissed off pretty fast:



Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

The Emperor is not pleased with Vader's lack of progress in searching for the Millennium Falcon…



They should have listened to C-3PO… He's always right…



Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Let's end those movies earlier

I found several alternate endings to some Star Wars movies, and I thought you wouldn't give a damn about them, but I'm still posting them:

Alternate ending to Episode IV:



"This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blast—…"

Padmé falls into the Sarlacc pitt, and Super Count Dooku beats the shit out of Obi-Wan, Anakin and Yoda! (Alternate ending to Episode II)



Episode V becomes a lot shorter:

Episode III gets reviewed

I recently found a really good review of Star Wars Episode III and I thought it could be interesting to feature it on this blog, among the other piles of random stuff that I accumulate on a daily basis. (I hope some of you saw the film, at least…)



"Count Dracula shows up. The Chancellor says: 'Get help. You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.' Dude, where are they gonna get help?!?"

" … and what does this shithead ever do to make you fall in love with him? All he ever did was bitch everyone else including Ooba-Dooba, make blatantly treacherous remarks and — I wanna stress this again — he committed mass murder and Ooba-Dooba knows it."



"Obi-Wan must carefully sneak up to his position. So naturally, since he must be as covert as possible, he picks the biggest, loudest thing he can possibly find to ride up there. This thing makes noises like a dying giraffe: it's so loud the whole damn planet would be alarmed to its presence, and the damn thing even starts shouting right at the enemy's base!"

"The Emperor whips out a lightsaber and does some of that jumping around crap. The three Jedi Windu brought with him use an ancient Jedi defence technique known as 'Standing There And Letting Your Opponent Kill You', until it's soon just Windu vs. the Chancellor."



"'But wait, Obi-Wan! If Leia is my sister, then who was our mother?'
'Ow… she was the Queen of Naboo. But when things didn't work out between her and your father she lost the will to live and just up and died.'
'Ya know, she was having two kids… She didn't think it was worth living for us?'
'I guess not, Luke.'
'Oh, what a bitch!'"