The Emperor is having a bad day

Robot Chicken is pure genius. Take a look at these fragments from the second Star Wars special episode.

Lookalikes (4)

Similarly:



I love this series!


Hey, someone just had the same idea as me!




Haha, I loved Fievel's cartoons.






(This is the gargoyle from Ghostbusters.)


Brilliant finding!


I'm not the only one thinking that.


So, Darth Ratzi is the lookalike of both Uncle Fester and Palpatine?

The 100 voices guy

Simply amazing, although it's not perfect.

Lookalikes (2)

Just another series of uncanny resemblances…




Unbelievable!




What a coincidence!


No wayyyyyy!


So the Red Baron is still alive…


"I bloody told you so!"


Just a bit…


Unbelievable! Exactly what I thought! Wilhelm von Homburg, the guy who played the evil Vigo in Ghostbusters II always made me think of Fred Thompson, another actor/politician.


What a disgrace! (for both, I mean)


Already mentioned as well.


This is definitely the best lookalike ever.

Robot Chicken: Star Wars

I really should watch more of these clips — and you should as well. Enjoy Robot Chicken!



Apparently this comes from a Star Wars special episode, which I have to get my hands on asap.



By the way, this hilarious sketch called "Vader's collect call" was reused in the episode:

How does Darth Vader use the bathroom?

The answer to this question, long awaited by millions of Star Wars fans, is given by Emperor Palpatine himself:



Emperor Palpatine warns you against the dangers of time travel and temporal paradoxes:



Please check you the AskPalpatine website for more sketches. Also, if you'd like to ask Palpatine a question, "do not hesitate, show no mercy" (to quote him): it's just a click away.

Uncyclopedia featured articles (yeah, they're back): Time travel, Great Time Travel War of 1871
and The Future:

This article or section is able to see into The Future.

Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.

The modern method of predicting the future.

Predicting the future is a common term among time fans eagerly awaiting its release. The term refers to any leaked information about the future, and assumptions created from that information, as well as pure conjecture. This consists mostly of fans making guesses based on the mistakes of the past, which was widely regarded as only fun for the hardcore time fans. There are many internet discussion forums where the world's greatest minds come together and argue with one another whether the Future will stick to its simple roots, or be a complete sell-out that is all about the graphics.

What makes predicting the future difficult is that it is protected by the CSS encryption algorithm. Anyone who has tried to predict it prior to the 18th century has died; this is not known for certain.

A short selection of things that will happen in the future, according to Uncyclopedia:

In a bit

• Vatican admits pretty much everything was a hoax. Longest April fools joke. Ever.

• The First Church of Spongebob opened

• Earth's magnetic poles mysteriously reverse positions. USA wakes up to discover that it is now in South America.

• Canada buys one (1) tank

Almost but not quite just about right now

• USA colonizes Uranus. Related jokes NEVER get old.

• Canada gets an army

Oh, a long ways off

• All forms of education rendered obsolete by the invention of brain transplants.

• Canada conquers the earth; the USA is exiled to Uranus.

• Terrorists vaporise all Americans left in existence by setting fire to Uranus.

The last moments of the universe

• Humanity becomes intelligent

• Neo Germany makes a funny joke

• Weather service become 100% accuracy

• Bill Gates goes bankrupt

• Britney Spears regains custody of her children

• Death dies

• Chuck Norris wakes up and causes mass destruction

• First time machine made, Church of Scientology buys one and goes back to the start of humanity. Huge disappointment; someone stepped on an internet.

From the balcony

A guy found another interesting parallel between Star Wars and real life. Watch this scene from the end of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones:



Real-life events (with a bit of editing, but still):



I told you there was something fishy with this guy!

"All's well that ends well"

Alternate endings are a great way of showing how a given story could have been. Storylines like Star Wars could have ended in a wide variety of ways, as you may recall from a series of previous posts. For instance, what if Luke, the hero, didn't manage to grip the antenna when he fell in the shaft on Bespin?



ROTFLOL is the word that sums up my reaction.

Then, what if Luke didn't manage to blow the Death Star and Vader shot him instead?



And… what if Darth Vader felt remorse after killing Luke Skywalker and all of a sudden decided to turn against the Empire? It would give something like this:



What if Yoda was less powerful than he thought?



[Swat!]
Oh, nooo!

What if Anakin underestimated his own powers?



What if everything that has transpired has done so according to the Emperor's design?



Brilliant!

PS. Don't forget to wish a happy birthday to Ellen!

Darth Ratzi: the Pics

Here are some pictures I found on the Internet, showing striking likelinesses between Emperor Palpatine and the evil pope Benedict XVI (aka Jozeph Ratzinger, aka Darth Ratzi).

This is a first picture showing our Darth Razti training at fighting with a lightsaber:


Two other pics showing the everything-but-benevolent look of Palpatine & Ratzi:


Striking, isn't it? But wait, there's more: when Darth Ratzi took control over the dictatorship of Vatican (true: Vatican is the only country of Europe whose head of State is NOT elected by its citizens; and for the record, in kingdoms the head of state is indeed a king/queen, but the Prime minister actually fulfils this function), he raised his arms towards the sky, and almost used his evil powers to shock the crowd (as shown on the picture).



So, now, I hope you see Benedict XVI in a different way. He just looked evil when I first saw him. My insight proved to be true when I heard about what he said about important issues (e.g. contraception, abortion, priests' marriage…), taking ultra-conservative opinions. (But what could we wait from a pope… Who the hell am I kidding?)

Darth Razti: A New Danger

So, the reluctant Benedict XVI has arrived today in Austria. My mother sent me this really appropriate picture, with this comment:

"Emperor Palpatine inspecting his Troops"

In my opinion, Benedict XVI, or Darth Ratzi (as the Web community sometimes calls him) is as dangerous as Palpatine, that evil Emperor in the Star Wars movies. I'll show you pictures of him where you'll see that Ratzinger's the perfect lookalike of Emperor Palpatine. But the latest seems much more friendly, though.

Another Version of Fart Wars

There's a sound which comes from this scene of Dumb and Dumber, when Lama Su sits down. Too silly. I want more!

Promise of Power

This scene from Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, is also one of the most important scenes of the whole saga. There's the original version, followed by the French adaptation.


ORIGINAL VERSION (featuring Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine and Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker)

(In Palpatine's private office)

PALPATINE
They don’t trust you, Anakin. They see your future, they know your power would be too strong to control. You must break through the fog of lies the Jedi have created around you. Let me help you to know the subtleties of the Force.

ANAKIN
How do you know the ways of the Force?

PALPATINE
My mentor told me everything about the Force. Even the nature of the Dark Side . . .

ANAKIN
You know the Dark Side?

PALPATINE
Anakin . . . If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects; not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace . . . a larger view of the Force. Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the Dark Side of the Force, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death.

ANAKIN
What did you say?

PALPATINE
Use my knowledge, I beg you!

ANAKIN
You are the Sith Lord!

PALPATINE
I know what’s been troubling you. Listen to me . . . Don’t continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council! Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi; a life of significance, of conscience . . . Are you going to kill me?

ANAKIN
I would certainly like to.

PALPATINE
I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus. Makes you stronger.

ANAKIN
I’m gonna turn you over the Jedi Council.

PALPATINE
Of course, you should. But you’re not sure of their intentions, are you?

ANAKIN
I will quickly discover the truth of all this.

PALPATINE
You have great wisdom, Anakin. Know the power of the Dark Side, the power to save Padmé.

———————————————————————————————

FRENCH VERSION (with the voices of Georges Claisse as Palpatine and Emmanuel Garijo as Anakin)

(Dans les appartements privés du Chancelier Palpatine)

PALPATINE
Ils n’ont aucune confiance en toi. Ils voient ton avenir, et ils savent que ton pouvoir sera si grand qu’il échappera à leur contrôle. Il faut que tu franchisses cet écran de fumée mensonger que les Jedi ont créé autour de toi. Laisse-moi t’apprendre toutes les subtilités de la Force !

ANAKIN
D’où vous vient cette connaissance ?

PALPATINE
Mon mentor m’a tout appris sur la Force. Jusqu’à la vraie nature du Côté Obscur.

ANAKIN
Vous la connaissez ? !

PALPATINE
Anakin… Si l’on désire tirer au clair le grand mystère, il convient d’en étudier tous les aspects, et non de s’en tenir à la vision étroite et dogmatique des Jedi. Si tu veux devenir un chef complet et avisé, il te faut embrasser … l’ensemble de la Force. Méfie-toi des Jedi, Anakin. Ce n’est qu’à travers moi que tu pourras acquérir un pouvoir plus grand qu’aucun autre Jedi. Apprends à connaître le Côté Obscur de la Force, et tu seras capable de sauver ta femme d’une mort certaine.

ANAKIN
Qu’est-ce que vous dites ? !

PALPATINE
Utilise mes connaissances, je t’en conjure !

ANAKIN
Vous êtes le Seigneur Noir des Sith !

PALPATINE
Je sais d’où vient ton trouble. Ecoute-moi… Cesse d’être utilisé comme un pion par les Jedi et leur Conseil. Depuis que je te connais, depuis toujours, tu rêves d’une vie plus exaltante que celle d’un Jedi ordinaire ; une vie qui ait un vrai sens, une vraie conscience… Est-ce que tu vas me tuer ?

ANAKIN
Je dois dire que la tentation est grande.

PALPATINE
Je sais que tu le ferais. Je sens la violence de ta colère. Elle accroît ta force, et la puissance de ta volonté.

ANAKIN
Je n’ai pas d’autre choix que de vous dénoncer au Conseil.

PALPATINE
Evidemment c’est ce que tu devrais faire, mais tu n’es pas encore tout à fait sûr de leurs intentions ?

ANAKIN
Je ne tarderai pas à découvrir toute la vérité.

PALPATINE
Tu jouis déjà d’une grande sagesse, Anakin. Le Côté Obscur et lui seul te donnera le pouvoir de sauver Padmé.

The Key Scene of the Whole Star Wars Saga

As a Star Wars fan eversince I'm a little boy, I was eager to see the last film of the saga in May 2005. Here is the transcript of what I think to be the most important scene of the whole saga. You'll also find the French translation, and spot a few adaptation that seem a little bit akward, but necessary for the post-synchronisation. (More about that topic later.) The address of this blog comes from this scene. That sentence can be applied to lots of real-life situations, if you think about it.

—————————————————————————————

ORIGINAL VERSION (featuring Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine and Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker)

(In Chancellor Palpatine's private lodge, in the Coruscant Opera.)

PALPATINE
Anakin, you know I’m not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven’t included you in their plot, they will soon.

ANAKIN
I'm not sure I understand.

PALPATINE
You must sense what I have come to suspect . . . the Jedi Council want control of the Republic . . . they're planning to betray me.

ANAKIN
I don't think . . .

PALPATINE
Anakin, search your feelings. You know, don't you?

ANAKIN
I know they don't trust you . . .

PALPATINE
Or the Senate . . . or the Republic . . . or democracy, for that matter.

ANAKIN
I have to admit, my trust in them has been shaken.

PALPATINE
Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they? They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?

ANAKIN
I don't... I don't know what to say.

PALPATINE
Remember back to your early teachings. Anakin. "All who gain power are afraid to lose it." Even the Jedi.

ANAKIN
The Jedi use their power for good.

PALPATINE
Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power.

ANAKIN
The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inwards—only about themselves.

PALPATINE
And the Jedi don't?

ANAKIN
The Jedi are selfless . . . they only care about others.

PALPATINE
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

ANAKIN
No.

PALPATINE
I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith . . . so powerful and so wise . . . he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians . . . to create . . . life. He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side . . . he could even keep the ones he cared about . . . from dying.

ANAKIN
He could actually . . . save people from death?

PALPATINE
The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

ANAKIN
What happened to him?

PALPATINE
He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was . . . losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic: he could save others from death, but not himself.

ANAKIN
Is it possible to learn this power?

PALPATINE
Not from a Jedi.

———————————————————————
FRENCH VERSION (with voices of Georges Claisse as Palpatine and Emmanuel Garijo as Anakin)

PALPATINE
Anakin, tu sais que je ne pourrai jamais me fier au Conseil des Jedi. S’ils ne t’ont pas encore impliqué dans leur complot, ça ne saurait tarder.

ANAKIN
Je ne suis pas sûr de bien comprendre.

PALPATINE
Je suis persuadé que toi aussi tu pressens ce que j’en suis venu à soupçonner : le Conseil des Jedi a décidé de prendre le contrôle de la République. Ils s’apprêtent à s’en prendre à moi.

ANAKIN
Je doute que ce soit —

PALPATINE
Anakin… Ecoute ton intuition. Tu le sais, n’est-ce pas ?

ANAKIN
Je sais qu’ils se méfient de vous.

PALPATINE
Mm. Et du Sénat. Et de la République. Et de la démocratie, par-dessus de marché.

ANAKIN
Je dois l’admettre : ma confiance en eux est un peu ébranlée.

PALPATINE
Pourquoi ? Ils t’ont chargé d’une mission que tu perçois comme profondément déloyale… ? Ils t’ont chargé de m’espionner, c’est ça ?

ANAKIN
Je ne sais pas… Je ne sais pas quoi dire.

PALPATINE
Remémore-toi ce qui t’a jadis été enseigné : « Quiconque détient un pouvoir a peur de le perdre ». Ça vaut pour les Jedi.

ANAKIN
Les Jedi sont au service du Bien.

PALPATINE
Le Bien est une question de point de vue, Anakin. Les Sith et les Jedi sont similaires, ils se ressemblent quasiment en tous points. Y compris dans leur quête d’un plus grand pouvoir.

ANAKIN
Les Sith cultivent la passion de la Force, rien d’autre. Et ils sont entièrement tournés vers eux-mêmes.

PALPATINE
Ah oui ? parce que les Jedi sont différents ?

ANAKIN
Les Jedi sont désintéressés. Ils pensent d’abord aux autres.

PALPATINE
Mm. Est-ce que tu connais l’histoire tragique de Dark Plagueis le Sage ?

ANAKIN
Non.

PALPATINE
Ça ne m’étonne pas. Ce n’est pas le genre d’histoire que racontent les Jedi. C’est une légende Sith. Dark Plagueis était un Seigneur Noir des Sith… tellement puissant et tellement sage… qu’il pouvait utiliser la Force pour influer sur les midichloriens… et pouvait… créer la vie. En outre, sa connaissance du Côté Obscur était telle… qu’il arrivait aussi à empêcher ceux dont l’existence lui importaient… de mourir.

ANAKIN
Vous voulez dire… qu’il avait vaincu la mort ?

PALPATINE
Le Côté Obscur de la Force est un moyen d’acquérir de nombreuses facultés considérées par certains comme contraires à la nature.

ANAKIN
Et… Que lui est-il arrivé ?

PALPATINE
Il était devenu tellement puissant… que la seule chose qui lui faisait encore peur… était de perdre son pouvoir, ce qui, bien sûr, arriva un jour. Il fit l’erreur d’enseigner à son jeune apprenti son savoir et tous ses secrets, et cet apprenti le tua pendant qu’il dormait. Quelle ironie : il avait vaincu la mort pour les autres, mais la sienne, il n’a pas su l’éviter.

ANAKIN
Est-ce qu’il est possible d’acquérir ce pouvoir ?

PALPATINE
En aucun cas auprès d’un Jedi.