Emperor Palpatine warns you against the dangers of time travel and temporal paradoxes:
Please check you the AskPalpatine website for more sketches. Also, if you'd like to ask Palpatine a question, "do not hesitate, show no mercy" (to quote him): it's just a click away.
Uncyclopedia featured articles (yeah, they're back): Time travel, Great Time Travel War of 1871
and The Future:
This article or section is able to see into The Future.
Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.The modern method of predicting the future.Predicting the future is a common term among time fans eagerly awaiting its release. The term refers to any leaked information about the future, and assumptions created from that information, as well as pure conjecture. This consists mostly of fans making guesses based on the mistakes of the past, which was widely regarded as only fun for the hardcore time fans. There are many internet discussion forums where the world's greatest minds come together and argue with one another whether the Future will stick to its simple roots, or be a complete sell-out that is all about the graphics.
What makes predicting the future difficult is that it is protected by the CSS encryption algorithm. Anyone who has tried to predict it prior to the 18th century has died; this is not known for certain.
A short selection of things that will happen in the future, according to Uncyclopedia:
In a bit
- Vatican admits pretty much everything was a hoax. Longest April fools joke. Ever.
- The First Church of Spongebob opened
- Earth's magnetic poles mysteriously reverse positions. USA wakes up to discover that it is now in South America.
- Canada buys one (1) tank
Almost but not quite just about right now
- USA colonizes Uranus. Related jokes NEVER get old.
- Canada gets an army
Oh, a long ways off
- All forms of education rendered obsolete by the invention of brain transplants.
- Terrorists vaporise all Americans left in existence by setting fire to Uranus.
The last moments of the universe
- Humanity becomes intelligent
- Neo Germany makes a funny joke
- Weather service become 100% accuracy
- Bill Gates goes bankrupt
- Britney Spears regains custody of her children
- Death dies
- Chuck Norris wakes up and causes mass destruction
- First time machine made, Church of Scientology buys one and goes back to the start of humanity. Huge disappointment; someone stepped on an internet.
