5/11/2007

De Funès: "La Grande Vadrouille" (1/2)

Yesterday, I promised I would show you other extracts from Louis De Funès' work. He's known for his part in La Grande Vadrouille, a film which takes place during the Second World War. He's a conductor (Stanislas Lefort) and tries to rehearse with his orchestra, but he's obliged to interrupt because of the German Major Achbach who says there's a British aviator hidden in the Opéra.



Later in the film, Lefort (De Funès) gets involved with the Resistance and has got to escape the Germans. He meets Augustin Bouvet (Bourvil) and they have to reach the Free Zone, travelling through the country. After many adventures, they arrive in a little village where they're supposed to meet other members of the Resistence that will help them…



Who said the the Germans couldn't laugh? Imagine we could do that at school… It'd be great.

5/10/2007

Louis de Funès Grinning

Louis de Funès is probably the most famous French actor ever. If you search for "Louis de Funès" on YouTube, you're gonna find videos in French, in German, in Italian, in Spanish, etc. (Mostly the Germans love him — don't ask me why.)

He's known as a comedian, he actually never played in dramas. His most famous parts were in the Gendarmes series, in which he plays a policeman established in Saint-Tropez, the well-known "fishing village" (most known today as the place-to-be for jet-setters) in the South of France. Six Gendarme films were made. The first four were excellent, the last two were crappy (don't watch them, then!). What I wanted to show you is a scene taken from the fourth movie, Le Gendarme en balade.

Let's first situate the scene. The French government had decided to have a younger generation of gendarmes, so that the old team was forced to retire. The team that we see in the films consists of:
– Ludovic Cruchot (Louis de Funès)
– Warrant officer Gerber (Michel Galabru)
– Merlot (Christian Marin)
– Fougasse (Jean Lefebre)
– Tricard (Guy Grosso)
– Berlicard (Michel Modo)

I also have to say that Cruchot got married to a rich woman from the nobility (Claude Gensac). That is the reason why he lives in a big castle.

In the following scene, a priest, whose chapel roof was blown by the wind, pays a visit to Madame Cruchot, in order to ask for $ome help to cover the co$t$ of repair$. Then Cruchot tries making a fool of the priest whilst his wife is talking about the importance of being generous…



Tomorrow: other extracts illustrating De Funès' genius.

5/09/2007

Jay and Silent Bob's favourite word

I came to know Jay and Silent Bob (played by Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) by watching a film called Dogma. Here's the trailer:



I didn't quite remember the plot, but now I've seen that, I get a glimpse of what it was. It was a witty mix of fun and serious philosophical issues. I've got to watch that film. Maybe in ten year's time, when I don't have anything else to do.

What I wanted to show you today is a montage that was made by a fan (I think), who spent hours watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (a title that appealed me because it's a reference to Star Wars: Episode V — and there were many in that movie) in order to spot each occurence of the word fuck or fucking. I think that not a single movie in the history of cinema displays such a huge number of swear words…



If I could get a buck whenever they say that word, I'd be rich. (Could you count how many times the word is said?)

5/08/2007

"The Life of Brian": Biggus Dickus

I've already written something about my favourite bits from the Monty Pythons (e.g. the silly walk) — even though I haven't seen much from what they did — but this time, I'll show you an extract from The Life of Brain, a film which makes fun of Christianism thanks to Brian, a guy that was born on the same day as Jesus…

In the film, he gets caught for a reason I can't remember and brought to Pontius Pilatius…



This bit is one of Mr Eloy Romero-Muñoz' favourites, one of the assistants in the English Department at Namur University.

5/07/2007

Enter the Mullet

You know I'm the kind of guy who spends a lot of time on the Internet, trying to get something awkward from our world in order to show it to a public of (mostly) strangers. With respect to that, I'm gonna introduce you to a ridiculous hair style. I've already taught you everything I knew about the combover; now, it's time for the mullet!!!

The mullet (or, in French: nuque longue or, in my region mitchelli, but this is not as common as "mullet" as a concept) is, according to Wikipedia:
A mullet is a hairstyle that is short in the front, on the top, and on the sides, but long in the back. The hairstyle was popular during the late 20th Century, from the early to mid seventies to the late eighties/early nineties. Mullets have been worn by both males and females of all ages. The mullet is distinct from the rattail, which consists of a long, narrow "tail" of hair growing from the back of the head.

Still on Wikipedia, I read this: The Dutch term is matje, which means "little carpet/mat". Some people refer to it as a Duitse mat (German mat) as well, implying that this is a haircut typical for Germans.

Just Google "mullet" and find wonderful pictures of idiots, nerds, pillocks, and other morons.

I filmed another bit of La Télé infernale, featuring Miam Monster Miam talking about Mullets and a pseudo "European Contest of Mitchellis" in Ougrée-bas…



Conclusion: "Ça fait partie du tissu social"!!!

5/06/2007

Problem Child

This film is wicked!

It's about… a problem child, basically. Junior (played by Michael Oliver) an orphan that spent most of his life in an orphenage. And he's a problem child in the sense that he's doing forbidden things, like hanging a nun from a roof by means of a rope, or taking pictures of the priest on the loo, or photo's of nuns getting undressed, or waxing the floor so that someone kicks the bucket (hence one of the sisters being injuried in the following extract).

In this scene, Mr. Peabody (Gilbert Gottfried, you was Iago's voice in Aladdin) is trying to calm down the sisters because Junior has — once again — pissed them off…



"A priest is like a nun with a jacket"!

I like the slogan for the movie: "Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Al Capone. They were all seven once."

Because this extract doesn't show anything from the troublesome personality of Junior… Before I show you what his fury looks like, I'm gonna tell you a little bit more about the plot.

Basically, he gets adopted by Ben Healy (the late John Ritter) who really wants to love him – as is not the case with his wife Flo (Amy Yasbeck) and his father (the late Jack Warden). Meanwhile, Junior writes a letter to a serial killer, Marty (Michael Richards), a real maniac who evades in order to meet Junior, whom he thinks to be another serial killer – while Junior just wanted to have him as a friend, because both were pariahs. Eventually, they go to a circus…



— Look! A giraffe!
— Look! A fist!


(Frenc version:
— Regarde ! Une girafe !
— Regarde ! Une baffe !
)

What's more, in this film, Marty/Richards doesn't like clowns, and in Seinfeld, Kramer/Richards is afraid of clowns… Was there an influence?

Let's go back to Junior's deeds. In fact, we have to move on to the sequel (yes, there was another, and even another, but better not to talk about it — nothing was the same apart from the grand-father). In Problem Child 2, Junior and his father decide to go living in Cold River… Of course, they move in a new house, new neighbours… and a new school… And the principal is… Mr. Peabody!!

Later in the film, they go to a carnivale… And that's were the fun begins…



It's just perfect! I learned that this very scene was cut from television airings! It's a token of quality.

5/05/2007

A Dutch Glimpse On French Elections

In order to practise my writing skills in Dutch, I decided to transcribe what was said in one of their programs. I chose the NOS-journaal from 5th May. It's a report about concerts in Amsterdam as part of the celebration of the liberation of the Netherlands after Second World War.

Titels

– Bevrijdingsconcert op de Amstel.

– Frankrijk is klaar voor de verkiezingen.

– Familiecontact via de satelliet met Uruzgan [Afghanistan]

Presentatrice: Noraly Beyer

• Goienavond. Op de Amstel in Amsterdam was zoals elk jaar op 5 mei het Bevrijdingsconcert, in aanwezigheid van Koningin Beatrix. Het Metropoolorkest speelde op een drijvend podium en begeleidde de zangeres Hind en Izaline Calister.

De bedrijdingsfestivals die in twaalf andere steden werden gehouden duren nog tot halftwaalf.
——————————
• Over minder dan tien uur gaat Frankrijk de stemlokalen openen voor de tweede en beslissende ronde van de presidentsverkiezingen. Maar voor sommige van de vierenveertig miljoen kiesgerechtende Fransen is het stemmen al begonnen. Fransen in de overzeeuwse gebieden en in het (???) buitenland mochten vandaag het spits afbijten. Lange rijen op een zonnige zaterdag bij de Franse ambassade in Washington. Sommige /ekspeksts/ moesten huren wachten voordat ze hun stem konden uitbrengen. En bij het Consulaat in New York was het vandaag ook druk.

(Getuige: Fransman vertaald.)
Dit is een cruciaal moment voor Frankrijk. We moeten een keuze maken: Een nieuwe weg inslaan, of doorgaan met hetzelfde.

Lange rijen waren er ook in Frans-Guyana. De ongeveer één miljoen kiezers in de overzeeuwse gebieden mochten alvast stemmen om problemen met het tijdsverschil te voorkomen. In Frankrijk zelf is het vandaag een dag van rust voor de kandidaten, maar voor de trouwste aanhangers is het de laatste kans om kiezers over de streep te trekken, zoals hier in Parijs. Morgen om acht uur gaan de Franse stemlokalen open.

De rechtse Sarkozy en de linkse Royal hebben een heel ander idee over welke kant op moet. Hun standpunt over een paar belangrijke thema's op een rij.

[Verslag]
Wat betreft werk wil Nicolas Sarkozy dat de Fransen meer gaan werken, en ook meer gaan verdienen. En hij belooft lastenverlichting voor het bedrijfsleven. Ségolène Royal wil vijfhonderdduizend startbanen voor jongeren creëren. Ook het geweld willen ze aanpakken. Sarkozy wil hogere straffen voor jongeren, ook voor 16- en 17-jarigen. Royal wil juist de politie terug in de wijk en militaire begeleiding voor criminele jongeren. Wat betreft integratie wil Sarkozy dat er een ministerie komt van immigratie en nationaal identiteit, en hij wil inburgeringscursussen naar een Nederlands model. Royal wil dat de ghetto's verdwijnen, en vindt dat scholen gemengder moeten worden. En voor Europa wil Sarkozy een miniverdrag dat door het Franse Parlement moet worden goedgekeurd, terwijl Royal voor een nieuwe socialere grondwet is, die is opnieuw aan de Fransen wil voorleggen via een referendum.

5/04/2007

Jean Gol's Combover

I'm too ashamed to say how I came to find this picture, but I did find it on the Internet. This photograph, probably taken round 1985, shows two Belgian politicians.

On the left, Jean Gol: someone who used to be one of the most prominent politicians in Belgium in the 1970s, 1980s and early 1990s, leader of the Walloon Parti Réformateur Libéral (PRL - liberal party). He died in September 1995.

On the right, his apprentice (we might say), Didier Reynders, at that time a successful young laywer and opportunist who made his way to the high spheres of political power thanks to Jean Gol. Didier Reynders is Belgium's current Minister of Finance.

My point was just to make fun of Jean Gol's combover: doesn't he look ridiculous?

5/03/2007

Michel Daerden Impersonators

Michel Daerden is said to be — thanks to his alcoholic-stained words on the evening after the city elections — one of the most famous Belgians abroad. (Even in Flanders.) Well, I had in my archives two videos that weren't on YouTube!

In fact, two years ago, there was a programme called La Télé infernale (LTI), a low-budget show about nothing, presented by Jacques Mercier and Virginie Svensson, plus his "gang" of non-professional comedians, among which Raoul Reyers, Pierre Kroll, Miam Monster Miam, Juan d'Oultremont, Laurence Bibot, Jean-Luc-Fonck, Frédéric Jannin, Sergio Honorez, Aurélia Dejond, etc. Basically the same team as for the radio programme Le Jeu des dictionnaires and La Semaine infernale. The programme had been broadcast during 18 month before the channel decided to put an end to it. I liked it very much, but most of the people that watched it just did it in order to criticize it. (Nerds.) Anyway, I think it's better off. If it had last too long, it would have ended up worse. But it's not my point in this blog entry.

What I wanted to show you today is a extract from the show, in which Pierre Kroll comments on the "Concours d'imitateurs de Michel Daerden" (Michel Daerden Impersonators Contest) that was organized in Liège. (I filmed that thing thanks to my camera, hence the poor quality. Sorry.)



And there's a second part: the minister himself comes to the set of La Télé infernale!!



Ah! The authentic wallon de Liège-accent!!! (My mother tongue!) ;p

Just one more, also coming from the same LTI issue:



(He says: Et je le vois encore… mett' sa tête dans l'mirwaar en disant : "(Mumbling) C'est des dégoûtants, y'avait que des dégueulasses !". It doesn't mean anything. Alcohol is talking.)

5/02/2007

La Dictée du Balfroid


On previous Saturday, it was high time to take part to the Dictée du Balfroid. (OK, when I say "take part", I mean taking part while watching the show on telly.) Basically, it's a spelling contest for kids who are currently on the sixth form of Primary School.

This year was the 20th anniversary of the creation of the Dictée, a project that came from the mind of Madame Balfroid (see second picture, next to Jacques Mercier, TV presenter), a retired Primary School teacher. Semi-finals were organised in each of the 5 French-speaking provinces (namely Brabant wallon, Hainaut, Liège, Luxembourg and Namur) and in Brussels. More than 800 pupils made it into the finals which took place at the Heysel, a series of huge exhibition halls, not far away from the Atomium.

When I was at Primary School, being the best at spelling, I got to sign up for the semi-finals, then I qualified for the finals… where I didn't win, unfortunately. Of course, I was proud to have experienced it. Back in that time, texts were longer and fairly more complicated. Now, seven years later, I can see that texts are much more easy than they used to. Here's this year's text:

L’urgence de reparler de l’eau (dictée de la finale)

Souvent les entretiens privés et politiques que nous ont relatés les journaux avaient pour objet ce précieux liquide.

Le sujet de l’eau revient en force cette année-ci, car on a enfin constaté, non sans effroi, que celle-ci allait cruellement manquer dans les années à venir.

Certains lacs orientaux sont déjà à sec. Des populations entières, assoiffées d’eau potable, arpentent des distances considérables pour trouver le puits qui les assouvira.

Les nappes souterraines se tarissent et des arbres squelettiques ont été çà et là observés.

Croyons-nous que cette matière ne nous concerne pas, nous les gaspilleurs jusqu’à outrance de cet élément vital que nous n’avons pas apprécié à sa juste valeur ?

Le réchauffement de la planète que l’on craint aura tôt fait de justifier notre angoisse d’une pénurie annoncée et d’une aridité évidente.

Quelles que soient nos appréhensions, il faut que nous gérions d’urgence notre façon de consommer puisque le temps nous est compté.


Of course, I didn't make any mistake: it was too easy. Really. I mean it. Before, you had to write it on two pages, and now on one single page. And there are less difficulties such as the accord du participe passé – a matter that petrified us in that time…

5/01/2007

Plan langues (1)

As part of this blog's goals – namely that of getting the whole world in contact with unknown languages – I suggest that you watch the video below. It's one of the numerous sketches written and played by Manu Thoreau for a programme named Faux Contact, a spoof based on the official Contact, a didactic program about road-traffic safety. Manu Thoreau imitated (and also exaggerated) Commandant De Nève's (the presenter) way of talking.

In the following extract, he explains in a pseudo (because full of unexisting words or words that don't make sense here) Walloon language how to place a spare wheel…



There's also a scene in a pseudo (because full of French near-words and absolutely ungrammatical) Flemish dialect…



Don't laugh: lots of French-speaking Belgians talk like that in Dutch and think they're doing it properly! (Morons.)

4/30/2007

Spaceballs: My Favourite Parody

You know that I'm a huge fan of Star Wars, but also of any kind of parodies. Here, with Mel Brooks' Spaceballs, I couldn't be happier, because we get a really interesting mix of references and humour, which are the ingredients of a typical Mel Brooks movie, cf. Robin Wood or Dracula or Frankenstein

As the first 6 minutes of the film are embedded below, I don't have to talk about the plot. If you like these extracts and would like to watch some more, the whole film is on YouTube, because a user, IWasSirChuckers, break the rules of copyright so that we can enjoy this remarkable movie ever and ever again. I'm going to quote him, because that's a sentence for which I would like to shake hands with him: "I have a theory as to why G.W. Bush became President: Shit Floats." Brillant. You couldn't say more.



If you can read this, you don't need glasses.!!! --> I'm always saying this sentence whenever I can, for instance as the tiny clauses appear at the end of advertissements.



"Everybody got that?" It's extremely rare to have a character adressing the audience. Of course, it's a parody…

The never-ending spaceship is a reference to the opening scene of Star Wars – Episode IV: A New Hope, when the Star Destroyer passes above the screen with tremendous sonor and special effects. Here, the spaceship is really, really longer than in the film. (And just imagine what kind of energy would be necessary to make it move, not to mention the ludicrous speed.)

"We brake for nobody" was translated in French as "Sans freins ni loi" in the non-DVD version.

I fond of Dark Helmet's outfit, with a nice tie (which looks like a man's privates…), a pair of shorts, the huge helmet and of course a little man (Rick Moranis) wearing it (and a pair of glasses…). Brillant, as I said.

You can also read this interesting article from Wikipedia, in which many things I didn't know about the film (e.g. Colonel Sandurz' name is a reference to Colonel Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken !).

And one last before you go:

4/29/2007

Koninginnedag is een echte oranje feestdag

Het is al tijd om een ander nieuwsbericht op te schrijven. Vandaag heb ik een bericht over de Koninginnedag, de nationale feestdag van Nederland, gekozen.

Van alle dagen van het jaar is Koninginnedag de meest oranje dag. Nederlanders gaan deze dag vaak in het oranje gekleed. Ze voelen zichzelf oranje. ?Samenvoeligheid? en traditie staan centraal. Dat blijkt woensdag uit de jaarlijkse monitor naar de beleving van de Koniginnedag door Nederlanders. De populairste traditie is de vrije markt, op de voet (?) gevolgd door het uithangen van de Nederlandse vlag. Wat een deel van de bevolking op de Koniginnedag ook niet kan nalaten is het eten van de overheelijke oranje tompoessen. Mensen die in de stad wonen gaan sneller op plaats dan mensen op het platteland. In het Oost en Zuiden van het land blijft men vaak gewoon thuis. Het blijkt voor veel Nederlanders gewoon een vrije dag.

Dankzij het woord op het internet op te zoeken heb ik begrepen wat tompoessen waren: een soort lekkernij, die in het Frans mille-feuille heet.

4/28/2007

Never Use Your Mobile Phone… During A Meeting

Never got annoyed by those irritating people who are using their mobile phones while walking on the streets (very common) or in a bus (less common, but really annoying because you can't help hearing from something useless that people "absolutely have to tell"). That was a first class of public means of "disruption".

A second class gathers all the people who don't turn off their mobile phones when they should, for instance at the cinema, at the restaurant, at school — let me say that I always hear at least 1 text-message "beep-beep" at every lecture — or even at a council. A genius found the perfect way of putting into words what I felt about mobile phones used in places where they shouldn't.



I love it! It's well done; nice effects.

Note: in the far, far away galaxy of Star Wars, where technology seems to be unlimited, they never use mobile phones — just little comlinks, but with only one or two knobs… Of course, they have this hologram system (Holonet), but that's another story. (Because I could say that given the space distance, they should be waiting for ages – literally – before they get an answer from the other side of the galaxy…)

Don't be a galactic nuisance!!!

4/27/2007

De/La Brabançonne

The Brabançonne is Belgium's national anthem. It seems that hardly anyone knows the lyrics…

Today, we were talking about Het Willelmus, the national anthem of the Netherlands. Our Dutch Literature professor, Mrs. Leijnse, told us that every single Dutchman knew the 1st and 6th couplets of the anthem - those that are sung for football events, etc. Then, Mrs Leijnse asked who, among us all (that is to say about 40 students), could sing Belgium's national anthem. I was astonished to find out that I was the only one who could sing it!!! Unbelievable. Of course, I was forced to sing it — and I did at ludicrous speed, which made everybody laugh…

Given that nobody knows the lyrics, I'm going to put it on this blog, so that the entire world has access to it. (I know the Wikipedia entry exists, too.) I know the French version, but by the end of next week, I will be able to sing it in Dutch! (Let me more time for the German version…)

Dutch version:
O dierbaar België
O heilig land der Vaad'ren
Onze ziel en ons hart zijn u gewijd.
Aanvaard ons hart en het bloed van onze ad'ren,
Wees ons doel in arbeid en in strijd.
Bloei, o land, in eendracht niet te breken;
Wees immer u zelf en ongeknecht,
Het woord getrouw, dat g' onbevreesd moogt spreken:
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Het woord getrouw, dat g' onbevreesd moogt spreken:
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.
Voor Vorst, voor Vrijheid en voor Recht.


French version:
O Belgique, ô mère chérie,
A toi nos coeurs, à toi nos bras,
A toi notre sang, ô Patrie !
Nous le jurons tous, tu vivras !
Tu vivras toujours grande et belle
Et ton invincible unité
Aura pour devise immortelle :
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
Aura pour devise immortelle :
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !
le Roi, la Loi, la Liberté !


German version:
O liebes Land, o Belgiens Erde
dir unser Herz, dir unsere Hand
dir unser Blut, dem Heimatherde
wir schwören's dir, o Vaterland
So blühe froh in voller Schöne
zu der die Freiheit dich erzog
und fortan singen deine Söhne:
Gesetz und König und die Freiheit hoch!


You too, you can sing it, because here's the music to help you!

And to finish with, in alphabetical order:

Es lebe Belgien!
Leve België!
Vive la Belgique !

The Miam Monster Miam Blog

Miam Monster Miam is a Belgian singer who lives in Seraing (we don't pronounce the -e, so that it is /sr/), in the derelict suburbs of Liège. He's a singer (he sings in English) and sometimes reads articles for a radio programme on La Première, namely La Semaine infernale. Whenever he was present, he read his article depicting his life in Seraing…



Here's the transcription:
[…]un peu crasse qui pue entre les doigts de pied quand on enlève ses chaussettes qui me fascine dans les faits-divers.

Je commence la lecture d’une news, et je manque de strôler en avalant de travers mon spéculoos. Je vous lis : “Les pompiers sont intervenus au fond de Seraing dans la nuit de mardi vers 4h du matin : plusieurs cocktails Molotov ont été lancés sur la porte du café Century. Les dégâts sont minimes”. Quoi ? Des cocktails Molotov lancés en pleine nuit sur le Century, et on ne m’avait rien dit ? Des cocktails Molotovs au Century, le mythique café d’en face de chez moi avant que je ne déménage ? Vous vous rendez compte ? Le Century attaqué par un gang d’Albanais de Los Angeles Seraing armés de cocktails Molotov ? Le film parfait d’action de série B à la Frères Dardenne défilait alors dans ma tête…

Ah, le Century, le seul café de Belgique qui ose écrire en grand sur la porte : “Nouvelle direction, on ne vend plus de drogue”. Ça, je l’aurais bien dit, qu’à Seraing, quand on ne vend plus de drogue, on ne peut que s’attirer des ennuis, hein. Je me souviens encore le patron qui me disait : “Nous au moins, on est francs, ça c’est de la franchise…”.

D’abord, je me dis que j’ai bien fait de déménager : j’aurais pu brûler ou mourir, hein — en habitant juste à côté à l’époque. Puis je me dis que c’est la première fois que je passe à côté de quelque chose de fou, qu’il se passe quelque chose, que je passe à côté d’un spectacle excitant quoi, je me sens un peu exclu.

J’en ai vu pourtant, des trucs comiques, en regardant par ma fenêtre, là-bas. C’est vrai que l’œil est attiré par le spectacle, c’est humain. Par exemple, j’ai vu de nombreux tournois de bras de fer du dimanche qui dégénèrent en bagarres générales, avec des barres de fer prises dans les camions de Raymond le ferrailleur. J’ai vu les soirées pyjama du Century qui se terminaient en orgies hardcore bas de gamme au lavoir d’en face… Puis bon, j’ai vu des choses nettement moins drôles, aussi, hein : explosions de gaz mortelles, des chats qui se mangent les uns entre les autres… Euh, je veux dire, j’ai vu…


Raoul Reyers : Le loyer était cher ?

Miam : J’ai vu par exemple des gosses de trois ans au café à quatre heures et demi du matin avec des parents morts bourrés couchés dans leur vomi ; des deals sur la place ; enfin, des hommes politiques locaux bourrés au péket qui viennent faire leur traditionnel discours sur notre belle ville — pour ‘Seraing explose’ — devant trois poireaux encore plus soûls qu’eux et qui crient “C’est ça ! T’as raison ! Tu pues !… T’as raison, ouais, c’est ça !” Oui, c’est vrai, on appelle ça — c’est la fête des commerçants, ‘Seraing explose’, à Seraing, c’est con. Sauf qu’il y a plus de commerces, dans le fond de Seraing ! Et c’est vrai aussi qu’il y a eu deux énormes explosions dans les usines en deux ans, donc c’est bien, ce nom, ‘Seraing explose’, je trouve.

Enfin… tant qu’on a Guy Mathot… Ah oui, quoi, merde, il est plus là, lui ! Enfin… tant qu’il nous reste la limaille de fer et cette poussière qui vient des usines, et qu’il est si bon de respirer, Seraing reste Seraing ! Quoi, il y a plus ça non plus ? On ne m’aurait rien dit ou quoi ? On ferme le haut-fourneau ?

Alors il ne nous reste plus qu’à chanter comme des poireaux, et comme Francis Cabrel : “Est-ce que ce monde est sérieux ?”.

4/26/2007

Greece: Day 2

On our first day in Greece, we got to visit the well-known Parthenon and the Acropolis. A huge heap of rocks and old stuff being rebuilded quite slowly. While climbing, we saw this old Greek (!) theatre which got renovated a couple of years ago, so that old plays could be played as it was meant to back in that time. The sound quality is exceptional, as they say.

We continued our way up to the top of the Acropolis, and we finally passed though remains of an impressive gate to enter a open-air (obviously) place at the feet of the Temple, which you can see below (I think that, one year later, it didn't change much), as well as the beautiful carven Caryatids by Phidias (if I remember it well).

4/25/2007

Hidden Message?

While surfing on YouTube, I came across a series of comments about a video that were exactly the same, consisting of this set of signs:

.......................... /´ /)
......................../¯ ..//
...................../... ./ /
.................,/¯ ..//
............. ./... ./ /
............./´¯/' ...'/´¯`•¸
........../'/.../... ./... ..../¨¯\
........('(...´(... ..(..... ,~/'....')
.........\.......... ..... ..\/..../
..........''...\.... ..... . _.•´
............\....... ..... ..(
..............\..... ..... ...\

Curious, isn't ? Of course, like the other people that had already sent a comment, I copied that friendly finger and posted it… It's stupid, I know. The guy who made up this image is a genius. And the guy who made the video is a nerd. Hence such a comment.

I also found this:
............../´¯/)...........(\¯`\
............/....//..............\\....\
.........../....//................\\....\
...../´¯/..../´¯\.........../¯`\....\¯`\
.././.../..../..../.|_......_|.\....\....\...\.\..
(.(....(....(..../.)..)..(..(.\....)....)....).)
.\................\/.../....\...\/................/
..\................. /........\................../
....\..............(............)............../
......\.............\.........../............./

Charming.

A Little Bit of My Life

Given that this is a blog, I'm supposed to share private moments with you, who in a sense are a new kind of voyeurs…

Well, as I don't do anything which is spicy or, you know, well, typical for teenagers (yes, I work a lot for university, apart from writing this lovely blog to help me practise my writing skills), I'm gonna give you a comment about two facts that "rocked my world" not so far away in time.

When you see this picture, you wonder if I didn't turn mad. Not yet. Because this is a wooden leg, or a prosthesis, I should say. My flatmates found it as they were walking back to the Carmel (this is the name of the residence belonging to the University of Namur where there are students' rooms; precisely where I live most of the time now); they found it in a rubbish tin ! Why would the owner have thrown it away? My mum's hypothesis is that the owner passed away and that his family decided not to bury the prosthesis with the corpse… The most wicked element in the whole story is that my friends took it back! Hence the photo and this message.

During the Easter break, in which I was supposed to work instead of sleeping, my parents, my brother and I went to the seaside — that means 2,5 hours of car, then finding a parking lot, then walking 2 km towards the center of the city, then eating chicken at the Koekoek, then walking on the zeedijk, then getting back to the car, then going to Westende, then leaving the car somewhere, then walking on the zeedijk. As we were walking, I suddenly spotted this excavator and I fiercely decided to get into it. What the hell…??, said my mum. The reason why I did it is quite simple: the excavator's door was open, and I really thought we were on Sunday, while we were on a Tuesday… Fortunately, no angry worker came to shout at me that it was forbidden, etc. (If it had happened, I would have pretended that I was 6 of mental age.) Fortunately too, my brother took pictures of it…

4/24/2007

Who Said That Penguins Were Friendly?

Our born-in-Belgium celebrity Jean-Claude Van Damme is good at starring in stupid movies. Here's an extract in which you can see one of the stupidest fights in the movie history…



Sound effects are terrible… Sooo childish.

4/23/2007

Boris Yeltsine Passed Away

Today, I heard at 6 pm, when I got back to my student's room, that former Russian President Boris Yeltsin had died from a(nother) heart attack. Tonight, as I was watching several videos in Dutch, I decided to translate a report on his death, which says:

"De voormalige Russische president Boris Jeltsin is maandag overleden. Dat maakt de persbureau Interfacts bekend. Jeltsin werd alom geprezen als de man die Rusland de weg naar de democratie heeft gewezen toen de Soviëte Unie begin jaren 90 instootte, en de Koude Oorlog tussen de VS en de Soviëte Unie tot een einde kwam. In de loop van de jaren 90 leeg Jeltsin te kampen met een lichaam die niet mee wilde, en leeg hij zijn heil (?) steeds meer te zoeken in de fles. Hij kreeg verscheidene hartaanvallen, maar bleef aan tot de laatste dag van het vorige millenium. Jeltsin is 76 jaar geworden."

Note that the Dutch version of Yeltsine is Jeltsin, and in French, we write Yelstine.

Harry Potter V: Order of the Phoenix — Official Long Version Trailer

Finally, we can get rid of the short trailer and watch this brand-new one till the film release on 7th July (07/07/07).



Yes, for once, the video doesn't come from YouTube.

4/22/2007

Prerelease and Election

Today was not such a good day for me. It isn't dreadful at all, but not really nice.

Today, I took part in a card tournament, involving this game called Magic—The Gathering, due to the release of a new edition at the beginning of May. (That is to say that it was a prerelease tournament, as we call it.) This time, the prerelease introduced Future Sight, a curious set, I have to admit, full with old capacities and such things that I won't tell you about, because you won't understand anything. Unless you're a born Magic duellist.

Well, we all had to build a new 40-cards deck (i.e. pack of cards) with means of 75 new cards. The point is that my pack of cards was not really good, so that I ended up with a rotten deck. After two rounds (i.e. a best-out-of-three match), I changed my deck completely, but I lost three other rounds.

At the end of the tournament, I had zero point. Absolutely nothing. Usually, I get at least 3 points (from a concession or else), but not here. It was sad for me. But I got used to it. It was my 16th prerelease, and I'm not a good player at all. I attend these prereleases because I like that kind of small tournament, and it gives me the opportunity to play at least once every three months. And to get a foil promotional card, which you can see on the top.

The other thing that disappointed me a little bit is that Sarkozy and Royal are still in the race for being elected president of France. I was hoping that Bayrou would make it to the second round, because he seemed to be the only one with somewhat of a programme — unlike Sarkozy's fascistic views and Royal's shalowness. Polls were saying that if Bayrou was opposed to Sarkozy on the second round, Bayrou would win. And now, as I prefer that consensual woman to that angry, pro-war, anti-immigration little jerk, I'd vote for Royal.

The fact is that I'm not French. And that's a good thing. I wouldn't like to be French. Definitely not. France is a beautiful country, but they are too different; they quarrel and argue on everything, due to their lack of ignorance as far as the compromis à la belge is concerned. It's curious that we pay so much attention to these elections, while we hardly ever talk about Dutch elections, and never about that charming little country of Luxembourg…

4/21/2007

Seinfeld: The Contest

Last week, I showed you a fragment from The Muppet Show, in which we could see what Seinfeld and his friends were talking about when they were young. I told you there was a reference to the episode The Contest, so I looked it up on YouTube and found the mythic scene, where you can understand the whole story. If you look a bit further on the website, I think you can watch the whole episode in several bits. Enjoy.



Oh, and as long as we're with Seinfeld, here is the fragment which is an Easter Egg (i.d. a reference) to JFK, with Kevin Costner. It's basically a spoof, and what's extraordinary about it is that the guy who plays Newman (Wayne Knight) was also playing in JFK, as an assissant to Garrison, the attorney.



That's it.

4/20/2007

First-Class Pillock

This is beyond imagination…



What a pillock! What a moron! How stupid is this guy? He sucks! He deserves to be hanged immediately!

The public is stupid, too: 56% of the public thought it was actually the Moon which revolves around the Earth! And we're surprised that the world is going to its end… With show like Qui veut gagner des millions ?, we realize how tough it is to be intelligent.

PS. It was my 100th blog post already!!!

4/19/2007

François Duval Is Talking To Us

When "sportive" car drivers can't control their car, everything goes pear-shaped. That's precisely what happened to our "champion" François Duval who, for no reasons, tries to explain what happened.

Click here to watch it. (I found this link on our English unit's blog, Germ@Namur, more precisely here. Note also that I've finally discovered the proper way to make links… After 99 blog posts…)

But why is he doing it in English? But why is he doing it in English? It's totally useless: not a single English-speaking person would be able to understand him. It would have been better that he speaks in French, and then to be subtitled in English…

But wait, who says that car champions like him are intelligent…?

4/18/2007

The Ultimate Question in the Universe

People usually consider the greatest question of the universe to be related to the meaning of life or something boring like that. I disagree with that belief. I found on YouTube a video by this guy, whom I henceforth shall consider as one of the best philosophers in the world. Check this out, and give me your opinion about that question, and of course your own answer.

In what order should the Star Wars films be watched?



As to me, I'd say that I'd prefer my children to watch Episodes IV, V and VI, and ten years later show them Episodes I, II and III. Just like I did. But of course, at the time, the new trilogy didn't exist. My biggest argument is that of the reveal of Darth Vader's identity. Do you agree?

4/17/2007

The DeLorean: "Live the Dream"

I told you last Wednesday that I was going to go to Brussels in order to meet Christopher Lloyd at the BIFFF. I did. I met one of my favourite actors. But I haven't uploaded the pictures yet, so that I can write a post about it. Meanwhile, I will briefly give a preview of what you're going to read in one week's time or so.

I went to Brussels with my parents on Thursday 12 April. We went eating crisps at the Atomium's fritkot, and then we went to Tour & Taxi, where the event took place. It was 6 o'clock, and Mr. Lloyd was to arrive at 8 pm. Round 7.30, a DeLorean arrived!!! My favourite car!!! The one that, precisely, we see in the Back to the Future trilogy!!!

That was the preview.

Now a little bit more about DeLoreans, or, more precisely, the DeLorean DMC-12. Here's a fine video that explains the main lines of the phenomenon.



I'd like to have one of them. Ok, I first have to have the money. So, I have to get a good job. That's why I'm working hard. Unfortunately, they're scarce in Europe, and their importation is nearly impossible, due to bureaucratic fuss — don't worry, I'll tell you about it.

There are only 21 DeLoreans in Belgium. Here's another, broadcast on VRT (Flemish television) in the summer of 2006. It's a shame I discovered it two days ago…



As an exercise, I decided to transcribe it… The fact is that they talk a bit too fast, but I could pause and transcribe what they were saying. But when who have a speaker who hesitates and overuses "online planning" device in order to "fill in the air" just the time he's thinking about what he's gonna say, then you're in trouble if Flemish is not your mother tongue… That guy named Andy is hardly understandable. Hence the "???" for the words that I don't understand or that I can't even deduce from context. Please help me, if you do understand it!!! Or if you find mistakes, I'd be glad to correct them.

Terug naar de toekomst

Andy:"Ik moest erkennen … tijdreizen … eigenlijk wat dacht er rooslicht is erg, denk ik heel zo belangrijk, denk ik, ik vind het meer belangrijkere van…van euh… vooruit te kunnen gaan en stilstaan en …??, ja."

Zondag is Poperinge the place to be voor de trotse eigenaars van een oldtimer. Frederik, Andy en Benny hebben er een van een heel speciale soort: een DeLorean van 1981 wa namelijk de ster in de film Back to the Future.

Frederik: "Het was allemaal begonnen toen ik was klein manneke toen ik voor de eerste keer Back to the Future zag. Het was al spectaculair op zich. Ik dacht dat de auto eigenlijk speciaal voor de film was gebouwd voor de film zelf. Maar dat bleek niet het geval te zijn."

Andy: "DeLorean heb ik leren kennen toen ik een videobank kreeg van een vriend waarop een film stond; ik heb naar die film gekeken, en die film had blijven doorlopen. En op het ??? daarop … stond een andere film achter eigenlijk, en toen heb ik die voor de eerste keer de DeLorean gezien."

Frederik: "Er is die beroemde scène waar die… waar een vrachtwagen stond op een parking, de Twin Pine Mall, en die deur gaat open, en die DeLorean is voor de eerste keer uitgereden. Het eerste wat ik dacht: "Als ik later groot ben, ?? ook zo één."

Andy:"Als ??? toekom, ik parkeer de wagen, en zwaai die deuren open. Het eerste wat de mensen meestal vragen is zo van een typische vraag: "Kan je ook tijdreizen?", of "Kan je ook vliegen?". Dat zijn meestal… dat was eigenlijk op die tijd een optie op deze wagen, dus…"

"— Die film Back to the Future nooit gezien?"
— O, ja, ja, ja!
— Dat is 'm. Dat is 'm.
— Ja, Bake to die Fjutch, ja…
— Vleugeldeuren…
— Ja.
— … Inox.
— Ja."

Frederik:"Het is 'n heel plezant gevoel met die auto te rijden: het is een betaalbaar wagen, hij valt sowieso alop."

Andy:"Ik denk dat het… een soort van, een soort van ziekte is die wagen, da's toch een gezonde ziekte van maar zijn."

Benny:"Die eigenaars van DeLoreans, die zijn wel op zij mi … gelijk zielen te zoemen, omdat we praten toch altijd over hetzelfde…"

Frederik:"Het is een deel van de autocultuur, zowel als de Amerikaans als de Europese markt, en daarenbovende dankzij de films van Back to the Future is het op een film gekomen."

Frederik:"Als ik zo kunnen terugkeren naar de tijd, zal ik proberen terug te gaan naar de jaren waar de DeLorean gebouwd werd en al de brochures en al de informatie die toen op de markt was, bij mij houden, want die halen fortuinen op internet."

Benny:"Als je naar de toekomst wil gaan, in tijd… in tijd reizen, da moet je met 'n DeLorean, dat kan nie me 'n andere wagen…"

Keikoptreffen: nu zondag in Poperinge.

———————————
I also like monster trucks (it's sooo stupid). Look, a DeLorean-Monster Truck does exist!!



I think the owner's got a combover…

That's all, folks.

4/16/2007

If You Can Build A Star Destroyer So Quicky, You Are My Hero

I haven't told you yet that I've a passion (OK, the word is maybe a little it too strong, but still) for LEGO. And if you combine LEGO with Star Wars, I couldn't be more happy! This is the biggest LEGO-set ever made, with as much as 3,100 pieces. It costs about 350$… If you don't know what to give me as a birthday present, then it's a suggestion. At least, I would be busy with it during a whole day, so that I don't write about who-the-hell-cares-about-it matters on this blog…



And think about the person who made the plans of it: this must be a genius. Or perhaps a mad guy. Like me. But I'm not much of a LEGO creator as far as vehicules are concerned. I'm "specialized" in building towers with elevators, etc.

4/15/2007

The Baby Muppets + Seinfeld = The Seinfeld Babies

Again, I found something really silly on YouTube. I saw this Muppet Show scene when I was nine or so… At the time, I only knew Seinfeld from my parents, who were watching it every Saturday. Years passed by and I watched the nine series of Seinfeld as they broadcast them three years ago. And now, thanks to YouTube and the saint who posted this video, we can watch it as many times as we want!!



They're soo cute!

—The one who can go the longest without a diaper change wins the contest!
— I'm out!"

--> It refers to the 3rd-series episode The Contest in which Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer are entering a contest in which they have not to… satisfy themselves… alone… Know what I mean. They didn't say the word in the episode, but this implicitness was so explicit that it was one of the funniest episodes ever — along with the Soup Nazi. In the real Seinfeld show, Kramer was the first to lose, shouting "I'm out!"

4/14/2007

Enlarge Your Knowledge Thanks to the Animaniacs!!!

When I was younger — and even if I watched several episodes two years ago — I watched this program, which was a kind of sequel to the beloved Tiny Toons. (More about them in a later post.) The Animaniacs were a frame for other cartoon sequences, but I absolutely don't know their original names (I have to look it up). There's the beginning tune:



In one episode, they decided to teach the viewers the world's geography — which is, to most Americans (and also to all fools in the world) something they've never heard about — in a didactic way. Check it out! And fasten your seatbells!



I wish we had Geography teachers like Yakko!!

Oh, and I see that they also did something about US Presidents…



"… and Gerald Ford fell down a lot"!!!

4/13/2007

Prison Bièsse

Parodies over Prison Break were predictable. But I admit that parodies in wallon de Liège was rather unexpected… For those of you who can't understand this peculiar dialect, well, try to learn it to understand the subtleties of it!





Kindergarten Cop

It's been a long time since I have showed you something about our favourite Governator. Usually, he deals with powerful moguls or deadly machines or some other leathal stuff, but here, his task was to take care of children…



This is a montage from Kindergarten Cop, also featuring Pamela Reed, in which Arnie plays a cop who's running an investigation on a drug dealer, so he has to go teaching to children aged 5 or 6 as an undercover cop in a kindergarden school (in Astoria, Oregon), because the dealer's kid is in that specific class… But those children are definitely monsters, that's why he gets angry…

PS. The film's French title is: Un flic à la maternelle.

4/12/2007

Academy Awards Ceremony Introduction

This is Billy Crystal's introductory video for the Academy Awards Ceremony of March 2004 — during which 11 Oscars were given to The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King.

There's been such an introduction, based on spoofing the most popular films of the previous year, since about 15 years.

Here, there are references to: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Terminator, Master and Commander, Pirates of the Carrabean, The Legend of Seabiscuit, Mystic River, Back to Coldmountain, Monster, (that film with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton), The Last Samurai. If you spot other references, just tell me.



It's a shame they don't broadcast it anymore on BeTV since two years. I was keen on getting up at 3 am to watch the show till 6 o'clock, and then going to school…

4/11/2007

The Mamushka!!!

If I had any skills for dancing, I would learn this dance!



We danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper. And now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you!

The Addams Family was originally a series which was made into a film at the beginning of the 90s, featuring Raul Julia, Angelica Houston, Christina Ricci (still a little girl at this time) and the talented Christopher Lloyd, whom I'll see tomorrow in Brussels, since he's a special guest for the BIFFF (Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival). If you want to join me, just send me a message. I like Christopher Lloyd a lot because he's one of the best actors I know; I saw him in many of my favourite movies, from Back to the Future (as Doc Brown) to Who Freaked Roger Rabbit (Judge Doom) to Dennis the Menace.

I'm definitely in love with the freaky, spoofy atmosphere of the film. And because you're friends, I'll show you another extract, but from the second Addams movie, The Addams Family Values, in which Fester is seduced by… a black widow, Debbie Jelinsky (Joan Cusack). The fragment is in French (that's quite rare to find one on YouTube); notice Fester/Fétide's dubbing voice, Pierre Hatet, great French actor. I love his performance.



— Est-ce qu'un d'entre vous m'a vraiment aimée ?
— Levez la main !


Note also that the baby's name is… Puberty

4/10/2007

The Most Miserable Death In The Cinema History…

You know I'm a really silly person, and (un?)fortunately, you can't do anything about it. Thus, being silly, I sometimes watch Batman movies. Ok, just two of them: those by Tim Burton, director of genius, with a real skill for photography and directing actors in a marvellous, dreamlike universe. (Yeah, the Gotham City of Batman is not quite what I call 'dreamlike', but still. You know what I mean if you watched Big Fish or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.)

I'm just saying that Batman and Batman Returns are worth it, and not Batman Forever and Batman & Robin, which were disappointing. Not due to the actors: Jim Carrey was perfect as the Riddler, Tommy Lee Jones convincing as Double Face and Arnold "Governator" Schwarzenegger ridiculing (in a good way) Dr. Freeze… Wait a minute. Only those three actors were good; changing Michael Keaton (the most credible Bruce Wayne ever) for Val Kilmer (pathethic) and then for George Clooney (why did he get involved with that crap?) was one of the worst decisions ever… No continuity. Talking pigs, it's the same for the director: Joel Schumacher (instead of the genius Tim Burton) used a terrible background for Gotham City to obtain something really awful from a script which could have been good if it hadn't been made into film this way…

Ok, enough criticism for today. My point was to introduce you to the Penguin [Danny DeVito], a character that appears in the second movie, Batman Returns. If you don't know anything about him, click on the link "Batman Returns" under "My Favourite Movies" to watch his birth. In the film, he tries to find who his parents were, why they trew him away in a sewer; then, helped by the mogul Max Shrek [Christopher Walken] (hey, I know this name…) he tries to be elected mayor; he fails (thanks to Batman) and finally attemps to destroy Gotham City, but Batman [Michael Keaton] fights against him, Penguin falls through a window into the penguins' lake in the Zoo. Meanwhile, Batman tries to prevent Catwoman [Michelle Pfeiffer] (with who, by the way, he fell in love with) from killing Shrek, but she eventually slay him by means of an electric generator… And there comes this extract:



This is definitely the most miserable death in the history of cinema. His last words were a request for a glass of ice water? What could be more pathetic? But I definitely love it!!! It's great! It's tragic! And Danny DeVito's interpretation is superb, as if he had become an actor just to play this role in particular…

Some remarks about the extract, now you've watched it.
– Penguin's dark green thing that flows out of his mouth is said to be blood by many, but I think it isn't because there's red blood in his head. What could thus be this dark green liquid?
– Batman doesn't have his batlike hood because he tear it off to show Catwoman/Selina Kyle that he's Bruce Wayne, the guy she dated.
– The carbonized bloke that Batman discovers under metal panels is Max Shrek. (Imagine that if the Romans had killed Jesus this way, we would hang a stick of burnt wood above the doors… Funny and silly, isn't it?)
– Penguin has got a collection of umbrellas with various uses: from pyrolancer to riffle, and from mini-helicopter to… basic umbrella. The one that he picks was meant to attract little kid's attention, in order to push them into a lagoon of toxic waste… ;-) My conclusion: Penguin is the most callous, inhumane disabled man in the world!
– Penguin's words are fantastic
– The penguins that push their boss into the water look really fake: they barely move!
– I like the last bubble, and the "gong" that accompanies it. By the way, the music was composed by Danny Elfman, with whom Tim Burton worked for every-but-one film.

I couldn't post this message without mentioning the French version. I compared the French to the original, and I was rather surprised to see that there were not so many meaning mistakes — whereas you can find tons of them in Star Wars. The dubbing actors they chose were also convincing, even though I must admit that Patrick Osmond could have changed his voice a little bit more when he speaks as Batman. (Anyway, no one noticed it.) But what I wanted to show you is Danny DeVito's "official" (or traditional, I should say) dubbing voice, Philippe Peythieu. This dubbing comedian is also the French voice of Homer Simpson, by the way.



Wonderful. Brillant.

4/09/2007

Happy Birthday, Mr Clarkson!!!

It's been more than five (!) days that I haven't post a video from Jeremy Clarkson. Oh dear! As it's his birthday today, I take profit of this occasion to show you what I consider as one of the most impressive cars ever: a Toyota pick-up. Watch all this till the end, and you'll be struck by awe.







Conclusion: this car is unkillable. Jeremy Clarkson's mania for killing car is defeated. At least, this car will be made into a monument…

The army should use those cars instead of tanks.

4/08/2007

Shitcom

Just an hour ago, I watched the second episode of the series Extras (season 2), starring Ricky Gervais, about a bad comedian (Andy McMillan) who tries not to drown with his crappy comedy show… In that episode (casting David Bowie as guest star), the critics are bad, they obliterate Andy McMillan. Even his agent is negative about it: "It's a shit sitcom. It's a shitcom!" Yeah! That portmanteau word is great! I love it! And the French subtitle-translation was brillant, too: "comerdie"… Lol.

I found this extract, with Ian McKellen (one of my favourite actors), in an episode which I haven't seen yet…

4/07/2007

Introduction and Conclusion of my "TFE"

Last year, we had to do a "travail de fin d'études" (TFE), which is, in my opinion, useful, but time-swallowing… We first had to choose a subject –History for me, my favourite, especially having M. Kuta as teacher – and a "question-problème". As I'm a Star Wars-freak, I opted for this: "Quelles sont les influences mythologiques et historiques dans Star Wars ?"

One heck of a question. But I worked on that topic, and I came up with a work of 29 pages. Here are the introduction and the conclusion, which are meant to be sufficient: according to M. Kuta, your TFE is great if you are able to sum it up in the intro and conclusion. Apparently, he liked it because I earned 74,5/80 for the whole, including the oral presentation with PowerPoint.

Ok, it's in French, but I didn't have the time to translate it.

Introduction

Des centaines de millions de spectateurs. Une saga tenant en haleine pendant 30 ans. Un engouement se vérifiant aux quatre coins de la planète… Sans nul doute, Star Wars est une réussite cinématographique sans égale, un phénomène jamais vu auparavant et dont l'ampleur restera dans les annales. Or, pour susciter une telle adhésion, presque une ferveur, il faut bien que « quelque chose » ait exercé une attraction irrésistible. S'agit-il des prouesses de la réalisation ? Pas vraiment : d'autres films aux effets spéciaux géniaux n'ont pas eu le même retentissement. Était-ce dû au scénario ? Non, car le découpage compliqué de celui-ci avait, à la longue, plus de chance de décourager qu'autre chose. La distribution des rôles a-t-elle été décisive ? Non également, parce que les acteurs étaient inconnus au départ… Quelle était donc la raison de ce succès planétaire ?
C'est George Lucas lui-même qui a livré la clé du mystère. Son histoire est construite sur des « archétypes fondamentaux ». Et d'expliquer : « J'ai d'abord essayé d'adapter certains grands principes de la mythologie à mon histoire. Comme cela ne fonctionnait pas, j'ai finalement décidé de laisser tomber et de me consacrer à la rédaction de l'histoire à part entière. Mais j'ai découvert, en me relisant, que tous les principes que j'avais essayé d'appliquer sans succès étaient présents. Je les avais tous utilisés inconsciemment. »
Un concentré de mythes, voilà donc le secret de cette saga. Et s'éclaire alors la raison pour laquelle ce qui n'est finalement qu'un feuilleton intergalactique a pu avoir un impact aussi universel : il puise dans les racines les plus profondes de l'humanité. Loin d'inventer de toutes pièces un hypothétique futur, l'histoire de Star Wars serait la mise en forme « lucasienne » de thèmes et de figures profondément ancrés dans la conscience humaine, des bases psychologiques présentes depuis des milliers d'années.
Toutefois, les mythes ne sont pas uniquement constitués de thèmes récurrents classiques. Ils s'inspirent du contexte spécifique dans lequel ils ont été créés. La saga Star Wars nous raconte l'histoire intemporelle d'un héros et la façon dont il accomplit sa destinée et combat les forces des ténèbres. Il s'agit d'un mythe qui date bel et bien de la fin du 20e siècle. Il est donc nécessaire de se pencher sur les autres histoires qu'on nous raconte ainsi que sur celle que l'Histoire elle-même était en train d'écrire au moment de la réalisation d'Un Nouvel espoir. Certains de ces éléments ont peut-être eu une influence sur George Lucas alors qu'il rédigeait les scénarios. D'autres, qui font simplement partie du contexte général dans lequel le récit est apparu, ont eu un impact sur les spectateurs, ce qui a conduit au succès de la saga.
La question-problème de ce travail de fin d'études est : « Quels éléments mythologiques et historiques ont influencé la création de la saga Star Wars et en ont fait un succès ? »
Ma tâche était donc de déterminer et de retrouver quels sont exactement ces mythes dont George Lucas a fait la synthèse, ces mythes qui ont fait que la saga Star Wars est elle-même devenue elle-même l'un des plus grands mythes de notre temps. J'ai également recherché des informations concernant les éléments historiques qui sont glissés un peu partout dans la saga. Ce travail présentera les références mythologiques, puis les allusions historiques.
Si j'aborde ce sujet, c'est parce que je suis passionné par Star Wars. Je suis un spectateur assidu de la saga : je la regarde en effet depuis mon plus jeune âge, et j'ai patiemment attendu la sortie de la première trilogie, et plus particulièrement l'Épisode III qui bouclait la boucle. J'ai pris beaucoup de plaisir à effectuer toutes ses recherches qui m'ont permis d'apprendre beaucoup sur les mythes et leur signification, mais aussi sur la façon par laquelle l'Histoire peut être utilisée pour délivrer un message universel.

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Conclusion

Pour conclure ce travail de fin d'études, il convient de rappeler la question-problème qui était posée : « Quels éléments mythologiques et historiques ont influencé la création de la saga Star Wars et en ont fait un succès ? »
Comme nous avons pu le constater au fil des développements, la saga Star Wars est chargée à la fois d'un grand nombre d'images mythiques, mais également d'un grand apport historique. En ce qui concerne le point de vue mythologique, il est évident que George Lucas a notamment utilisé ses connaissances d'anthropologie pour créer un récit qui rassemble des mythologies bien différentes. Nous avons ainsi vu qu'il s'était servi de la mythologie grecque, de l'idéologie judéo-chrétienne (peut-être est-ce dû au fait qu'il est issu d'une famille catholique), des légendes médiévales populaires ; il a mélangé tous ces éléments en y ajoutant le thème ô combien fondamental de la lutte entre le Bien et le Mal.
Notre recherche a également permis de surligner plusieurs grands emprunts à l'Histoire, et cela ressort par les thèmes du récit d'une part, et cela se voit dans l'aspect visuel (par les armes notamment). George Lucas emprunta à la République romaine, au Moyen Âge (et ce pour être en accord avec les légendes médiévales), aux deux guerres mondiales (avec une très grande influence de l'Allemagne nazie qui servit de modèle à l'Empire), mais aussi à la conquête spatiale. Il ne faut pas non plus négliger la période de crise des années 1970 qui eut une influence directe sur la rédaction du scénario du premier film, Un Nouvel espoir, parce que Lucas profita de la morosité ambiante pour rendre du courage aux spectateurs : même dans une galaxie lointaine soumise au joug d'un Empire totalitaire, il existe des gens qui se battent pour améliorer la situation.
La combinaison de ces deux grands thèmes – mythologie et histoire – a permis de donner à la saga de George Lucas le statut de mythe. En effet, en empruntant ces influences mythologiques et historiques dont nous venons de rappeler les grandes lignes, les deux trilogies forment un récit universel et intemporel qui cristallise l'éternelle lutte entre le Bien et le Mal, suggérant les moyens de se sortir victorieux d'un tel combat. Chaque trilogie fait vivre aux personnages principaux – Anakin dans la première, Luke dans la seconde – leur propre parcours du héros. Dans le même temps, l'histoire présente la montée en puissance insidieuse d'une dictature et les dangers que ce type de régime implique (par exemple pour la liberté des individus).
C'est ainsi que l'histoire qui n'était, au départ, qu'un concentré de mythes a atteint elle-même le rang de mythe, devenant ainsi un mythe moderne plus précisément, à l'instar de Faust ou encore Don Juan. Certes, il faudra encore un peu de temps avant que Star Wars s'impose dans l'inconscient collectif ou devienne une histoire amplifiée et déformée par la tradition, mais le fait que des milliers de fans de la saga la parodient, inventent des suites ou des adaptations, ou encore écrivent des ouvrages sur le sujet – pour ne citer que quelques exemples – prouve que l'amplification du mythe Star Wars est en cours. Sans compter toutes les allusions dans la littérature moderne ainsi que dans les films.
Avant de conclure, il me reste encore à ouvrir le sujet : George Lucas a été fort influencé par Joseph Campbell, mais n'a-t-il pas également puisé dans l'œuvre de J.R.R. Tolkien (l'auteur du Seigneur des Anneaux) ? La question mérite d'être posée, et peut-être qu'à l'avenir, un rhétoricien choisira de répondre à cette interrogation.
Les recherches effectuées pour la conception de ce travail de fin d'études m'ont permis de voir comment un récit inspiré de diverses mythologies est devenu lui-même un nouveau mythe porteur de sens. Il était également intéressant de se rendre compte de toutes ces images présentes dans l'inconscient collectif de tout un chacun et d'en trouver les raisons, les origines, tout comme leur signification cachée. Et c'est bien la fonction du mythe : véhiculer un message qui est valable quels que soient les lieux ou l'époque.

4/06/2007

Combover

I wonder why I haven't told you about combover up to now… Let's watch this, and you'll figure out what it is…



Yes, the subject was so interesting that a guy made a mockumentary about it. (If you wanna watch it, I own the tape.)

The horror is everywhere, in an astromomic number of variations:



And there are combovers even in The Simpsons!!!



At university, one of our professors has got a combover. He looks totally ridiculous, but we can't tell him. Maybe someday, in ten year's time, I'll write a letter to tell him he looks a pillock. Can you guess about who I'm talking?

4/05/2007

Wrongfully Accused

Wrongfully Accused is (also) one of my favourite movies because it's a parody film. I especially love those with Leslie Nielsen because they spoof many other films and they feature the typical kind of American humour whose I'm a great fan. Here's a scene of that movie, taking place towards the end.

4/04/2007

A First Picture From Greece

OK, this one doesn't look nice, but the other pictures I took that night weren't that much better… In fact, we took the plane round 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and 3 hours later, we landed in Athens. It was 6 o'clock, but we had to adapt to the local time, which was 7 o'clock. We got our luggage back, then we took a special bus to go to the centre of Athens, round 20 kilometers further.

When you get outside of the airport, you're stunned… by pollution. The air is warm and the toxic gas come to your nose, giving you a peculiar feeling. The bus couldn't get out of the parking lot, due to a problem with the automatic barriers… Right.

Afterwards, we installed in the hotel, rooms for three, perfect accomodation. Then we went for a short walk in Athens, and we walked up to a forum, just down the Acropolis — that's what you can see on the picture.

Of course, when we got back to our rooms at the hotel, we couldn't sleep and we played cards up to 1 o'clock, even if our teachers told us to go to sleep at midnight. But it was great fun to break the rules. It's a school trip, after all!

4/03/2007

A Last Picture of Belgium Before Going to Greece

We're already in April 2006! Our school gave to 54 students the opportunity to go to Greece as last year destination, and I obviously opted for it. We had to go to Brussels to get the plane, but before leaving Belgium, my parents, my brother and I went to the chip-shop Vandervaeren not far away from the Atomium. I thought I wouldn't get any fries in Greece. Wait and see. So we ate those marvelous chips (they're the best in Brussels, even better than on the Place Jourdan) before going to Brussels Airport. Meanwhile, I took a picture of our beloved monument.

4/02/2007

Another Crappy Car (Again)

I love this car's colour so much I wanna share this extract with you.



(Thanks Mr Clarkson for helping me lenghtening my blog.)

4/01/2007

Pic Pic et André

I told you yesterday about it, so now let's watch it! (Thanks again to YouTube users.)



I love the voices, especially since they have the Liège accent — which is, by far, the most hilarious.

Spiral Fool

Actually, I realized that this blog wasn't refering to the real world as much as I wanted. That's why I decided to share with you several events that attracted my eyes in the news.

Prime Minister of Belgium, Guy Verhofstadt, is worldwide known for wearing the most stupid glasses ever. On a talkshow broadcast in Wallonie, he said, to answer a watcher's remark, that he would change glasses only if 100,000 people demanded it on a petition. I've already signed it. What are you waiting for?! Let's get rid of this plastic piece of junk! (OK, I don't want Guy to wear the same look that 10 years ago - see picture on the right…)

Recently, I heard that Elio Di Rupo, president of the Walloon Socialist Party, wanted our drunk minister of Equipment Michel Daerden to go to the AA's… Warning! The AA's are not the Alcoholic Anonymous — which could have been an excellent place for Daerden to go to — but the Amis d'Adam, an association that promotes, among others, nudist campings. A considerable number of Dutch tourists are expected to come this summer in Wallonie in such nudist camps, and Michel Daerden's task is to find out if the parking facilities are sufficient. It is also said that M. Daerden plans to charge a tax on all foreign vehicules using these parking-lots to be; at least, M. Leterme can't do anything against it.

In early April 2005, pope John Paul II died. Two years later, a sister says she was healed from Alzheimer disease by thinking about John Paul strongly. According to the Roman Church, this is a miracle — which is pretty good for JPII's canonization procedure. I heard about some guy who claims having been saved by someone who got him out of the water because he was drowning. Does that make of that person a saint?

London is known for being the capital of the United Kingdom, but will be known also for being the model of a 3D video game called "Spiral Fool", designed for the brand-new PS3. We don't know a lot about it for the moment, but the gamers are impatient to play with it. Basically, it's about an evil scientist whose task is to get control of people's minds. The game's title is based on an anagram.

For next year, the government decided to raise new taxes on people – why not? They do whatever they like, and they get paid for it. The federal election being nigh, some of the ministers and parlementarians are under the threat of being expelled (which could be a good chatize for those who haven't done anything for 4 or 8 years) and thus, they quickly do something, like voting a law, in order to make a (last?) good impression. Among all those measures, let's highlight this tax on barbecues (because they're CO2-producers). The Pfaffs will be upset.

On 1st April 2007 a "vistrein" will travel between Ostend and Antwerp to promote Ostend's fish markets.

On Hollywood now. If you haven't heard about Michel Daerden's ethylic deeds, you're a caveman. (Ow, I have to tell you about that movie, Caveman, with Ringo Starr…) Well, he's so famous that the producers of the series Lost decided to ask him to play a role in the third series. Here's evidence of it:



Last but not least, don't forget it's Easter in one week's time, so don't get confused if you see big, pink rabbits on street or other animals carrying eggs.

Suddenly, I realize I haven't mentioned something crucial yet: Take the bait!.