The Most Miserable Death In The Cinema History…

You know I'm a really silly person, and (un?)fortunately, you can't do anything about it. Thus, being silly, I sometimes watch Batman movies. Ok, just two of them: those by Tim Burton, director of genius, with a real skill for photography and directing actors in a marvellous, dreamlike universe. (Yeah, the Gotham City of Batman is not quite what I call 'dreamlike', but still. You know what I mean if you watched Big Fish or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.)

I'm just saying that Batman and Batman Returns are worth it, and not Batman Forever and Batman & Robin, which were disappointing. Not due to the actors: Jim Carrey was perfect as the Riddler, Tommy Lee Jones convincing as Double Face and Arnold "Governator" Schwarzenegger ridiculing (in a good way) Dr. Freeze… Wait a minute. Only those three actors were good; changing Michael Keaton (the most credible Bruce Wayne ever) for Val Kilmer (pathethic) and then for George Clooney (why did he get involved with that crap?) was one of the worst decisions ever… No continuity. Talking pigs, it's the same for the director: Joel Schumacher (instead of the genius Tim Burton) used a terrible background for Gotham City to obtain something really awful from a script which could have been good if it hadn't been made into film this way…

Ok, enough criticism for today. My point was to introduce you to the Penguin [Danny DeVito], a character that appears in the second movie, Batman Returns. If you don't know anything about him, click on the link "Batman Returns" under "My Favourite Movies" to watch his birth. In the film, he tries to find who his parents were, why they trew him away in a sewer; then, helped by the mogul Max Shrek [Christopher Walken] (hey, I know this name…) he tries to be elected mayor; he fails (thanks to Batman) and finally attemps to destroy Gotham City, but Batman [Michael Keaton] fights against him, Penguin falls through a window into the penguins' lake in the Zoo. Meanwhile, Batman tries to prevent Catwoman [Michelle Pfeiffer] (with who, by the way, he fell in love with) from killing Shrek, but she eventually slay him by means of an electric generator… And there comes this extract:



This is definitely the most miserable death in the history of cinema. His last words were a request for a glass of ice water? What could be more pathetic? But I definitely love it!!! It's great! It's tragic! And Danny DeVito's interpretation is superb, as if he had become an actor just to play this role in particular…

Some remarks about the extract, now you've watched it.
– Penguin's dark green thing that flows out of his mouth is said to be blood by many, but I think it isn't because there's red blood in his head. What could thus be this dark green liquid?
– Batman doesn't have his batlike hood because he tear it off to show Catwoman/Selina Kyle that he's Bruce Wayne, the guy she dated.
– The carbonized bloke that Batman discovers under metal panels is Max Shrek. (Imagine that if the Romans had killed Jesus this way, we would hang a stick of burnt wood above the doors… Funny and silly, isn't it?)
– Penguin has got a collection of umbrellas with various uses: from pyrolancer to riffle, and from mini-helicopter to… basic umbrella. The one that he picks was meant to attract little kid's attention, in order to push them into a lagoon of toxic waste… ;-) My conclusion: Penguin is the most callous, inhumane disabled man in the world!
– Penguin's words are fantastic
– The penguins that push their boss into the water look really fake: they barely move!
– I like the last bubble, and the "gong" that accompanies it. By the way, the music was composed by Danny Elfman, with whom Tim Burton worked for every-but-one film.

I couldn't post this message without mentioning the French version. I compared the French to the original, and I was rather surprised to see that there were not so many meaning mistakes — whereas you can find tons of them in Star Wars. The dubbing actors they chose were also convincing, even though I must admit that Patrick Osmond could have changed his voice a little bit more when he speaks as Batman. (Anyway, no one noticed it.) But what I wanted to show you is Danny DeVito's "official" (or traditional, I should say) dubbing voice, Philippe Peythieu. This dubbing comedian is also the French voice of Homer Simpson, by the way.



Wonderful. Brillant.