"Son of dork!"

Problem Child is a film I used to watch a lot when I was a little boy, because it's about an eight-year-old monster that always behaves badly… The film starred the late Jack Warden (as Big Ben Healy) and John Ritter (as Ben Healy). The devilish Junior is played by Michael Oliver. Today I'd like to show you the baseball scene. Enjoy.



I know I've already featured the following scene, but I like it very much:



OWNED

"The Simpsons Movie" Should Be Rated "PG-16" (at least!)

I went to the cinema for the third time this year/summer. I watched "The Simpsons Movie", as I was planning since a year, when the first teaser came out. It was just a gag with the S of Superman's chest, but worn on Homer's T-shirt.



Then, other teasers and theatrical trailers were released in the cinemas and on the Internet, showing images of a film that looked great.







And great it was! Actually, it's like a regular episode, but longer (approx. 90 minutes). It allows for a broader storyline (obviously) and more visual easter eggs.

Talking about that, I got a little angry when I saw roughly 150 children entering the room, accompanied by their parents. But why? I mean, OK, that's a cartoon, and there are visual gags that would make them laugh, but The Simpsons isn't just about visual gags! There are dozens of cultural references in each episode, and that means that there were a lot more (hidden) references (or, as we call them, "Easter eggs") in a film.

That is the reason why I decided to enumerate the occurences of gags and references that little kids (say, under 12 years old) couldn't possibly understand, be they cultural, political, sociological, religious, sexual, or visual. (It means it doesn't count if I hear any childish laughter.)

For instance, do the children understand why it is funny to make of Arnold Scharzenegger the President of the United States? And first, do they know who he is???

Message to ignorants:
The answer is that there's a widespread joke that Arnie, like the late Ronald Reagan did, would become President after a successful career as an actor. Of course, it's impossible for him to be elected president: the Constitution says that you have to be born on American ground—and Arnie was born in Austria. Nevertheless, in Demolition Man (a film with Sylvester Stalone), Arnold Schwarzenegger is just mentioned as the 44th President of the USA, because the Senate had changed an Amendment so that he could be elected…

I also spotted many references to Star Wars (by the way, the films are known to contain loads of Easter eggs, too): it is probably the most popular story in the USA, after the Bible though. It's normal that such references occur in the movie. However, I can't see how these kids could see the allusion… (But adults and fans like me would.) I mean: Star Wars is far less popular in Europe than in America, for few children know the films. When I was in 3rd grade at secondary school, I asked all my classmates who had seen the films. Only one had. Hopeless.

Well, at the end of the movie, I had counted 98 instances of such "non-understandable-things-for-under-12s". 98. And counting: I talked about it with my mother and brother (with whom I went and see the film) and they had spotted things that I hadn't. I guess I'll have to see it once more. But maybe not at the cinema. I'll wait till I get the DVD. So that I can watch it without any pop-corn or crisps-eating kid in my sight… (That's one of this millenium's scourges, in my opinion.)

That's why I'm saying that the film should get a PG-16 rating (or its various national equivalents): let's ban children from serious movies they won't understand. My mother saw and heard children getting bored: they obviously couldn't understand this movie.

Oh, and the hell with them! They piss me off!

(Sorry for looking so unkind and "callous", but I can't help it. Perhaps the reason is that I was a reasonable kid and I never shouted silly comments at the cinema, nor did I eat crisps all the time…)

Problem Child

This film is wicked!

It's about… a problem child, basically. Junior (played by Michael Oliver) an orphan that spent most of his life in an orphenage. And he's a problem child in the sense that he's doing forbidden things, like hanging a nun from a roof by means of a rope, or taking pictures of the priest on the loo, or photo's of nuns getting undressed, or waxing the floor so that someone kicks the bucket (hence one of the sisters being injuried in the following extract).

In this scene, Mr. Peabody (Gilbert Gottfried, you was Iago's voice in Aladdin) is trying to calm down the sisters because Junior has — once again — pissed them off…



"A priest is like a nun with a jacket"!

I like the slogan for the movie: "Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Al Capone. They were all seven once."

Because this extract doesn't show anything from the troublesome personality of Junior… Before I show you what his fury looks like, I'm gonna tell you a little bit more about the plot.

Basically, he gets adopted by Ben Healy (the late John Ritter) who really wants to love him – as is not the case with his wife Flo (Amy Yasbeck) and his father (the late Jack Warden). Meanwhile, Junior writes a letter to a serial killer, Marty (Michael Richards), a real maniac who evades in order to meet Junior, whom he thinks to be another serial killer – while Junior just wanted to have him as a friend, because both were pariahs. Eventually, they go to a circus…



— Look! A giraffe!
— Look! A fist!

(Frenc version:
— Regarde ! Une girafe !
— Regarde ! Une baffe !)

What's more, in this film, Marty/Richards doesn't like clowns, and in Seinfeld, Kramer/Richards is afraid of clowns… Was there an influence?

Let's go back to Junior's deeds. In fact, we have to move on to the sequel (yes, there was another, and even another, but better not to talk about it — nothing was the same apart from the grand-father). In Problem Child 2, Junior and his father decide to go living in Cold River… Of course, they move in a new house, new neighbours… and a new school… And the principal is… Mr. Peabody!!

Later in the film, they go to a carnivale… And that's were the fun begins…



It's just perfect! I learned that this very scene was cut from television airings! It's a token of quality.