I'm a Gates… and I'm a Seinfeld

Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld to challenge "I'm a Mac… and I'm a PC" ads?



Here's the first commercial featuring Gates and Seinfeld:



(Note the picture on Bill's discount card!)

Here's another one, featuring the long version:



Of course it didn't take much time for Apple "I'm a Mac… and I'm a PC", mocking the fact that Microsoft spends $300 million on an advertising campaign instead of fixing Vista bugs… (*tuttering*)

Bill Gates' giving a speech to a Harvard class. (From Uncyclopedia.)

Next generation computers

On 14 October 2008 Steve Jobs held a keynote presentation about Apple Inc.'s brand-new laptops: the new MacBook, MacBook Air and MacBook Pro. I definitely have to get my hands on one asap.

Part I: The state of the Mac: Apple gains momentum!



(Talking about achievements)
"The next stuff is something we didn't do: Vista."

At 9:33 --> I'd like to see that once in my life!



Part II: Some new ways to build notebooks





Part III: New graphics and new trackpads for notebooks and introducing the new MacBook Pro



Brilliant stuff! The graphics are awesome (yeah, the word applies this time) and the trackpad is revolutionary. And LED display — "just gorgeous!"

"This is a 'tour de force' on engineering."



Part IV: the two MacBook Pro models, and the new MacBook Air, enhanced with the new graphics, bigger hard drives



"The things we're proud of, are the things we left out." --> This is what I like with the Apple philosophy: let's get rid of silly PC ways like "Click on 'Start' to shut down".


Part V: 24" LED cinema display, continuation of the 'MacBook white'



The unibody aluminum enclosure is definitely what I really was looking forward to. I'm just not surprised the batteries don't last longer than 5 hours; my iBook G4 can run for 4 to 4,5 hours. Of course, PCs are no match: I always laugh when I see PC users who always RELY on the presence of a plug in the room so as to make the PC run.



Part VI: Summary and promotional video



Conclusion: fantastic.

SuperEnvelope: the world's biggest envelope

Dell's response to the launch of Apple's MacBook Air.



Made on a Mac, of course! Long live !

Tomorrow I'll talk about the new MacBooks, so stay tuned.

iCock nano

What happens when Bill Gates from Microsoft meets Steve Jobs from Apple, Inc.?



"You want to see my Dick?"
"Ah yeah, sure…"
"Here."
"Yeah, that's tiny also!"
"Yeah, I was born like that!"

--> Genius

(This sketch comes from the Harry and Paul show.)


On Windows Vista you can sometimes see crazy notifications pop up…

“At least I don't have to press the "START" Button to SHUT MY COMPUTER DOWN any more. That didn't make any sense.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Vista

“You do know that this is still called the "START" button, right?”

~ Me on Oscar Wilde's quote

I prefer Rutte 98, if you want my opinion…

"I'm a Marvel" / "And I'm a DC"

Let's have a look at this spoof on the "I'm a Mac" / "And I'm a PC" commercials made by Apple. Today Batman (DC) talks with Spiderman (Marvel):



Now take a look at those vilains, Lex Luthor (DC) and the Green Goblin (Marvel):

Can you do this on a PC?

It seems silly to be able to do that, but it's really useful: the rare times I have to use a PC, it's a kerfuffle because you can see just one window at a time…

Good riddance!

Have I already told you I hate PCs? Kurt Russell loathes them as well. Check this out:



This scene comes from John Carpenter's The Thing, a film that I have to see someday.

Mortal Kombat

The eternal struggle between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates continues:



"It's like baby music!"

"What's that?"
"It's an I-house."
"But there's no windows…"
"Exactly! [Diabolical laughter]"

"Prepare to meet your programmer!"

"Commodore 64?!"
"He's the number 1 selling computer of the 80s!"

"Bill, I'm sorry for making fun of nerds."
"That's OK, Steve. I'm sorry for being such a wiener…"


Today's Uncyclopedia featured articles: Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

Mac vs. PC

"Spécial dédicace" for Pitchou: he asked me to explain the differences between a Mac and a (Windows) PC. I think that these short advertisements deliver a clear message:



True that you always have to buy extra expensive items to enhance your PC — and I'm not even talking about upgrades…




Security problems are really annoying. Especially when you're subject to viruses:



Gesundheit! 114.000 viruses attacking PCs, none for Macs!




Did you catch the difference?




True that PCs crash pretty often, while Mac rarely do. (It happened only thrice with my iBook G4 in three years, and it was just my fault, not the computer's.) I find it pretty awkward that you've got to click on "Start" in order to turn off your computer… That's pretty dumb!

And as a special treat to my old Muppet friend Martin aka Waldorf, I found an old commercial that's a reference to George Orwell's 1984:




Even Bill Gates says Macs rule:

To create a new standard, it takes something that's not just a little bit different, it takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination and the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard. (1984)

Thumbs up!!

It is quite a shame for PCs to have SEVERAL pages on Wikipedia about criticism of Microsoft (the whole company, I mean), while there are no such things for Macs… Well, you can only find this:

Apple has received criticism for not notifying users of system vulnerabilities until a fix is released,^[85] and has been accused of pressuring journalists to release their sources, with regards to leaked information about new Apple products.^[86] Apple also has received criticism for its iPhone and iPod integration with iTunes for not facilitating creation of software to run and maintain those devices using different applications tools besides iTunes.^[Source] Apple also has been investigated and criticized for possible sweatshop conditions in factories in China where contract manufacturers make its iPod.^[Source] Apple also has received criticism and two class-action lawsuits at both state and federal level about its iPhone product only allowed service through AT&T and the recent software update that made the iPhone useless if it was to be unlocked using a different tool that cited monopolistic and antitrust allegations between the two companies.^[89]

Basically, these are just legal issues. They are indeed to be condemned, but as far as the computers are concerned, it doesn't matter a lot. Quite the contrary, here are the links to criticism on Microsoft products:

• For criticism of Windows Vista, see Criticism of Windows Vista
• For criticism of Windows XP, see Criticism of Windows XP
• For criticism of Windows 2000, see the criticism section of the Windows 2000 article
• For criticism of Windows Me, see the criticism section of the Windows Me article
• For criticism of Windows 9x, see the criticism section of the Windows 9x article
• For criticism of Internet Explorer, see Criticism of Internet Explorer
• For criticism of Microsoft Office, see the criticism section of the Microsoft Office article

To finish with, why wouldn't you read this Uncyclopedia entry on Scientology. Some quotes to give you an idea:



“Whoa... I must have been so high.” — L. Ron Hubbard

“I'd say it's horse shit, but I've never seen a horse's ass that big.” — Oscar Wilde on Space Opera in Scientology

“Scientology is the stupidest thing i've ever heard of .” — 99.99999999999% of the population of the universe on scientology

“ROFL” — God

“LMAO” — Buddha

“I once did scientology, but they never called me back.” — Oscar Wilde