Borat does Cambridge

Borat goes to Cambridge University… and tries to learn cricket…

"This is a castle and we have a many tapestries!" (Buttler in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade")

If you have never understood how William the Conqueror took control over Britain in 1066, maybe the following video is for you. My Old and Middle English teacher, Mrs A. Auer, showed us an animated version of the Bayeux Tapestry — with funny sound effects as well.



(By the way, an episode 17 of the nineteenth season of The Simpsons parodied the tapestry as well.)

"Three questions three" (Monty Python's "Holy Grail")

Let's have fun with people whose knowledge about simple things is simply… very small:

What's the quickest way? Train or Aston Martin?

Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond organise an epic race from Surrey to Monaco to see if taking the trip in an Aston Martin DB9 is faster than taking the train. How silly they are! But that's the whole point, I think.

"Double balls and bollocks!"

Our General linguistics exam is in fact a so-called [neutral use ;-) SL] "take home exam". One of the proposed questions — because we are to pick two of them out of a set of six — requires us to analyse, among others, the phenomena of hyper- and misunderstanding in the sketch "Customer attacks Jane Eyre", aka "Balls!" from A bit of Fry and Laurie.



Just in passing, I would like to highligh a commentary that has been dropped on this video:

Stephen Fry's character looks like a young Jeremy Clarkson with that perm and the same crass,uneducated, uncultured yoboik attitude that encapsulates his extremely irrating personality and that never popular car show that isn't about cars anymore called top gear.Classic sketch depicting the modern masculine attitude with completely no brain at all!!!.

We got that, but imagine if we had to analyse the silly metaphors uttered by Fry towards the end of this sketch about the English language:

Toupée Department

Here's a relatively unknown sketch featured in episode 41 of Monty Python's Flying Circus (or 2nd episode of the fourth series), "Toupée Department". Note that you won't see John Cleese because he had left the show at the end of the third series.



This illustrates the point that toupées should be banished because they're so absurd: they deceive nobody because you can immediately spot those "appendices" when a guy wears one! (Same thing for combovers…)

Bee TV

Another silly sketch featuring two legens: John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson.



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Rowan Atkinson. (Sorry, but there's no entry on John Cleese.)

A car that's cheaper than walking…

Jeremy Clarkson was the only one who could make us aware of the existence of such a peculiar car, the P50:



It did 100 miles to the gallon: that's even better that my moped!

Note (from Wikipedia):

Clarkson incorrectly stated that the tiny P50 is subject to the London congestion charge, unlike the much larger Lexus RX vehicle used as a camera platform, which qualifies for exemption from the charge on the grounds of its petrol-electric hybrid powerplant.^[Reference] In fact the P50 also qualifies for exemption, under a provision allowing three-wheeled vehicles of less than 100 cm (39.4 in) width and 200 cm (78.7 in) length to enter the Congestion Charge Zone without charge.^[Reference]

Jeremy Clarkson also tested the more expensive car I mentioned yesterday: the Audi R8:



Today's featured Uncyclopedia article: Crapmobile.

Christmas Week: Mr Bean

This is probably one of my favourite scenes from the whole Mr Bean series with Rowan Atkinson. In this episode Mr Beans goes to Harrods to buy some Christmas stuff. And look what happens when he spots a nativity scene…



Exterminate! Exterminate!

I especially liked the shepherd knocking on the truck as a sign that the driver can go.

Chessington

Why haven't shown you yet the most-seen of my videos on YouTube? Probably because I never thought of it. So there it is: it's a skecth from the second series of Little Britain, with David Walliams (here as Lou) and Matt Lucas (here as Andy).

In Herby, Andy Pipkin is enjoying is annual bath…

I thought you hated France! I thought you said the French could never been forgiven for surrendering to the German war machine, and collaborating with the occupier by setting up the Vichy Government...

If you have enjoyed this evening's programme, you might like to travel back in time half an hour and watch it again.

--> Brilliant quote! I wish I could do that sometimes!

Andy wanted to go to Chessington World of Adventure (if you didn't understand what Lou mumbles…).

And, believe it or not, the crew actually went to Paris to shoot that scene!!

Manny's great deeds

Remember I told you once about that wonderful series called Black Books, starring Bill Bailey? I found a really good fragment from season 1. In this one, Manny is stuck in the book shop…



And this one when he finds out he can play the piano…



I can play!!

Black Books

Professor Vandelanotte posted today (at 11:38, but it's not a reference to George Lucas' 1138, I'm afraid) on germ@namur a blog entry about the return of Never Mind the Buzzcocks on BBC. The name of Bill Bailey was of course mentioned, for he is one of the guest presentors. In fact, I knew Bill Bailey already because he played the part of Manny in this tremendously brilliant series called Black Books (three seasons of six episodes were made between 2000-2004).

Basically, the action is set around three characters: Bernard Black (Dylan Moran), Manny Bianco (Bill Bailey) and Fran Katzenjammer (Tamsin Greig, whom we have also seen as Dr. Caroline Todd in Green Wing, another Britcom). All of them are completely crazy, but in their own way.

There's a YouTuber who actually put some episodes online. To give you a kind of Hors d'œuvre, here's the first episode of the first series (in three parts), called "Cooking the book".

Part 1

Part 2



Part 3



Note that Manny was given many nicknames throughout the whole series, e.g. Gandalf, Thor or Bigfoot, but my favourite was Gengis Khan.

I wish I had the DVDs so that I could watch all the episodes. But what am I saying? I don't have the time!!! I'm already looking forward to being on holiday in July…

Transcript of a News Bulletin: "Commons Debate Queen's Plans"

We were asked by Mr Jacquinet to write the transcript of a news bulletin on the BBC World Service website, but as I couldn't download any files, I had to fetch a report on YouTube, on the BBCWorldnews page.
As embedding was disabled, I can't display the video, but here is the transcript:

COMMONS DEBATE QUEEN'S PLANS

Context

The State Opening of Parliament took place on Tuesday 6 November. Queen Elizabeth II read the Speech from the Throne, announcing the Government’s programme.

Transcript (duration: 2 min 57)

JOURNALIST
Sights, sounds and the sovereign: this was quite a spectacle, but today was never meant to involve surprises. MPs knew the government's legislative plans long before they were summoned to see the Queen. Gordon Brown and David Cameron have already clashed over some of the measures; this ritual brought a brief strange suspension in the usual hostilities.

QUEEN ELIZABETH II
My government's programme will meet people's aspirations, a better education, housing, health care and children services, and for a cleaner environment.

JOURNALIST
Hard to argue with that: extra homes, more apprenticeship, personalized health care, pensions and flexible working. But today's measures will also create new obligations on employers: Labour counsels to charge more for driving and dumping rubbish, and give the police controversial new powers.

QUEEN ELIZABETH II
My government will seek a consensus on changes to the law on terrorism, so that the police and other agencies have the powers they need to protect the public, whilst preserving essential rights and liberties.

JOURNALIST
But the government hasn't said how long the police should be able to detain terrorist suspects without charge. The opposition oppose any extension. All the Queen has done today, is remind us what Gordon Brown told us in July, but her presence in Parliament signals the start of the session, with the individual measures will be put to the test, and the overall package will define for better or worse the Prime Minister's vision for Britain.
David Cameron is not impressed.

DAVID CAMERON, MP (Conservative Leader)
People are beginning to wonder what is the point of this government.
(Massive approval on Tory benches.)

JOURNALIST
The Conservative leader dismissed the programme as a rehash of short-term gimmicks by a Prime Minister who bends with the wind.

DAVID CAMERON, MP
Say what you like about Tony Blair, at least he was decisive! (Laughter on Tory benches.) Isn't the only change we've had, is to swap a strong Prime Minister for a weak one. (Approvals.)

JOURNALIST
Gordon Brown ignored the dig, flashed out some of his proposals and insisted he's doing his job.

GORDON BROWN, Prime Minister (Labour Leader)
… and then, Mr Speaker, on energy, housing, pensions, education, work-life balance, citizenship and antiterrorism measures, the central purpose of this legislative programme is to make the right long-term changes to prepare and equip our country for the future, and to meet the rising aspirations of the British people.

JOURNALIST
The Liberal Democrats criticized Labour and the Conservatives.

VINCE CABLE, MP (Acting Liberal Democrat Leader)
… they're advocating the same tax policies, with the same indifference to widening inequalities, the same love affair with the discrediting council tax; they're both now bidding for the anti-immigrant…

ELFYN LLWYD (Plaid Cymru)
There was some useful stuff in there, er but by and large not a… sort of feeling, kind of Queen’s speech, nothing to set the world alight, really.

JOURNALIST
The pageantry for now is over. The politics is in full swing.