Once upon a time...

As you probably know, I'm fond of cartoons and gory sequences. What a delight, then, when the two form an exquisite combination in Happy Tree Friends?

"I'm a Marvel" / "And I'm a DC"

Let's have a look at this spoof on the "I'm a Mac" / "And I'm a PC" commercials made by Apple. Today Batman (DC) talks with Spiderman (Marvel):



Now take a look at those vilains, Lex Luthor (DC) and the Green Goblin (Marvel):

Contradictions, contradictions…

Watch out, this guy might end up being the next US President… Well, that wouldn't be much of a change after G.W. Bush…

First day in Utrecht

Today I'd like to tell you about my first day in Utrecht — enjoy! (because I don't)

Yesterday it was high time I left Belgium to go to the Netherlands, more particularily to the city of Utrecht, where I'm supposed to spend the next five months as part of the Erasmus programme. Unfortunately I still haven't found a room, so my good classmate Magali, who's also staying in Utrecht, kindly invited me to spend a couple of days at her room.

So I left my beloved country round 9.30 with my mother. It took us roughly two and a half hours to get there and find a parking lot in the city centre. Then we looked for the building where I was to have an appointment with a study advisor who wanted to assess my proficiency in Dutch. We met Magali by chance near the Dom (a huge cathedral). We walked to the local KFC (fastfood outlet) to regenerate ourselves and then we headed for the aforementioned office. The study advisor received us at the same time because she understood that we were from the same university. We talked about our past courses in Dutch and things like that. Thanks to her we are now allowed to take a course that had been deleted for exchange students, but a bit later we were sent a confirmation e-mail by the professor, linking to a personal page and then we realized we should perhaps have picked another course… (Go to this address to witness the full boredom of this course.)

After this appointment we went to Zeist, where Magali's room is located. With me I only had clothes etc. for about 20 days, my student files, my laptop and a green camp bed. (I'm really far from the comfort I had in Namur… *Sighs*) My mother took the car and went back to Belgium — I wish I was with her. Honestly. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Stay. In. Utrecht. My first choice to go on an Erasmus trip was Leuven because it's the best Belgian university, as far as I know, and I thought I'd be sent there thanks to my good marks. Apparently the professors were thinking they were doing me a favour by sending me to Utrecht — I'm now fully disappointed with them. Not having a place to live is awful. I feel empathy for bums.

I'd like to make an ultimatum: if I still don't have a room on 13 September, I'm going back to Belgium, no matter what the (financial, academic…) consequences could be. I really hate saying that, but I'm really sick and tired of this Dutch system to find a room: you have to send an e-mail (which isn't free of charge at all) to the owner, who will then contact you if and only if he/she likes your face and your profile. Unfortunately this was hardly the case for me, but I managed to get two positive reactions out of the 35 e-mails that I sent:

• The first room available was located in Wijk bij Duurstede, at 25 km from Utrecht. Unfortunately the room was really a pigsty (e.g. one of the dogs peed on the floor and the owner considered this normal) and far too expensive for what it was, given all the sanitary issues…
• The second room that I got to see was located in Overvecht, nearby a nice shopping mall. The room and the flatmates were great but… they turned me down and chose an Italian exchange student instead, probably because he could cook them Italian dishes or something — I admit not having fully understood what the owner told me on the phone.

Yes, the worst of this is that even if you're elected to come and see a room, you have to be aware that you're a candidate amongst several others — and the big drawback I have is that I'm not Dutch… At least, I guess so.

Back to my first day here.

In the evening Magali and I went to the Zeist city centre to have lunch (roasted turkey under a thick layer of a disgusting brownish spicy sauce) and then we walked a bit, before taking the bus. We then had an awful time finding the right bus stop to get out (because it was completely dark) and the building where we're staying.

Anyway… I'm really desperate, even if the social activities we've been talked about today are great, but I won't fully enjoy them as long as I don't have a room.

Wish me luck!

"Negotiation, Jerry, that's what I do: negotiation" (George Costanza in "Seinfeld")

The following clip shows you one of the best (if not the funniest) scene from Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather Part II, starring here Robert DeNiro as the young Vito Corleone, who was building his "empire" at that time in the storyline. Enjoy the Vito Corleone negotiation technique:

"So uncivilized…"

Let's get back to the basics: editing Star Wars clips so as to make the movie end (a lot) differently. This time, General Grievous terminates Obi-Wan Kenobi — thanks to the legendary Casey Jones:

Blending theory (nothing to do with grammar)

Let's watch a couple of videos with that crazy scientist who blends everything:

- Cubic zirconia ("8.5 to <9.0>Mohs hardness scale vs. a rating of 10 for diamonds" ~ Wikipedia):

– a can of Coke:



– a whole McDonald's meal:



(Handful, but disgusting I guess.)

How to fool telemarketers

I'm pretty sure you've already been called by a telemarketer. My favourite way of answering the guy/girl is presented by the well-known comedian Jerry Seinfeld:

"I can't talk right now, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?"
"Erm… Well, I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that…"
"Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home."
"No."
"Well now you know how I feel."

Brilliant lines. Seinfeld came up with something else that's quite worth it, too:



Here's another way to piss off a telemarketer: just answer with one single word.



This video must be the greatest prank call ever:

Batman theme song

I forgot to show you this theme song based on Danny Elfman's soundtrack for Tim Burton's Batman. Please watch the original opening credits first, and then the song.

YouTube Begins

This video shows you what YouTube ("Videotape yourself") would have been in 1985...

"Let's put a smile on that face"

Hello kids, it's time to watch a silly episode from Happy Tree Friends, this time featuring the fertility idol from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark:



Here comes another one:

A naughty prank

Here's a good idea for a joke if you're getting bored:

Robot Chicken: Star Wars

I really should watch more of these clips — and you should as well. Enjoy Robot Chicken!



Apparently this comes from a Star Wars special episode, which I have to get my hands on asap.



By the way, this hilarious sketch called "Vader's collect call" was reused in the episode:

Indy IV: the preview to be watched after seeing the film

The video I'd like to show you today is a movie preview of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It's really funny, I assure you.

Jeremy Clarkson: politically incorrect and nonconformist

What follows is the special blog entry that I wrote for germ@namur.

(Since there has not been much activity on this blog for a long, long time, I thought it was now high time to write a special blog entry on one of Britain’s cultural icons, Jeremy Clarkson. Unlike other blog entries, this one is more than 500 words long, but after all this is precisely a special blog entry.)

Jeremy Clarkson was born on 11 April 1960 in Doncaster, England. Thanks to good sales of Paddington Bears (stuffed toys) his parents were able to send him to Repton, a public school. As a turbulent teenager, Clarkson was expelled because of his disrespect for rules, noticeably for smoking and drinking. Later he first worked as a travelling salesman for his parent’s business, but soon decided to make a living by writing articles in local newspapers. Afterwards he created the Motoring Press Agency, which was specialised in conducting road tests.

In October 1988 Clarkson joined the TV motoring programme Top Gear, which he presented until February 2000 – this was the programme’s original format. After a brief interruption the show was relaunched from 2002 onwards, but some things were changed to enhance the programme and give it a more entertaining quality: it is now shot in a studio, and Clarkson is helped by co-presenters: Richard "Hamster" Hammond en James "Captain Slow" May. Another big change was that each week a guest is invited for a chat and for testing a reasonably-priced car on a special track. Their lap time is recorded and a kept on a board. Past hosts include Ellen MacArthur, Sir Michael Gambon, Patrick Stewart and Stephen Fry.



Top Gear is now the most-watched TV show on BBC Two and it is rebroadcast in dozens of countries. The programme's success is due notably to Clarkson’s rather criticising style, his cynical approach and his outspoken views about a wide range of controversial subjects (e.g.g. the London congestion charge). Jeremy Clarkson is (in)famous for his disregard for environment and for 'killing' numerous 'hateful cars', which means that he regularly destroys all sorts of low performance vehicles. For instance he shot on a Yugo 45 with a tank canon, he organised a crash test between a locomotive and a Renault Espace at a level crossing and he split a Lada 2105 in two:



Here is a compilation of the most impressive destruction clips by Clarkson:



For the record, only one car managed not to be 'killed' by Clarkson: the Toyota Hilux, dubbed 'the world's toughest vehicle'. (Watch parts 1, 2 and 3 of the programme to witness this motoring miracle.) The car is now kept as a museum artifact on a plinth in the Top Gear studio.

Each week, Clarkson and his ‘goons’ test vehicles ranging from the reasonably-priced (e.g. the Volkswagen Fox) cars to expensive supercars (e.g. the world's fastest and most expensive car, the Bugatti Veyron), as well as peculiar cars (e.g. the Peel P50, the world's smallest car – Clarkson, who is 6,5 feet tall, could even fit in it). From time to time he challenges Hammond and/or May on an 'epic race': basically the latter have to go faster than Clarkson who is driving some supercar. For instance, Clarkson drove an Aston Martin DB9 from the Top Gear base in England to Monaco, while May and Hammond were taking the train; Clarkson arrived first. Another time he headed for the Magnetic North Pole driving an equipped Toyota pickup truck, racing against Hammond who used a dog sled. Once again, Clarkson was successful, incidentally becoming the first man to reach the Magnetic North Pole with a car.

Of course Top Gear is not Jeremy Clarkson's only occupation: he married his agent in 1993 and got three children. In 1994 he created Top Gear Magazine, for which he regularly writes columns and reviews – most of which are collected and published as books later on. In the 1990s he took part in several other programmes such as the UK version of Robot Wars, he was the advocate of engineer Brunel for 100 Greatest Britons, and was was invited to many popular programmes like Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, Parkinson, Grumpy Old Men – Clarkson is precisely the epitome of a grumpy old man – and Never Mind the Buzzcocks. He also presented Top Gear specials (e.g. Jeremy Clarkson Meets The Neighbours and Apocalypse Clarkson) and his own chat show, Clarkson, between 1998 and 2000. He also presented several programmes about great engineering inventions and military deeds, such as Jeremy Clarkson: Greatest Raid of All Time, a documentary about a raid in Saint-Nazaire during WWII). In 2007 he was awarded the National Television Awards’ Special Recognition Award.

PS. Do not forget to browse through the Top Gear website and have a go at the 'Stupidly hard quiz'.
PPS. Most of the hyperlinks will redirect you to a YouTube video.

How to survive an alien attack

Several people who are familiar with aliens tell you how to deal with them:

"This doesn't smell like mud…"

World's cheapest man — not even a Dutchman ;-)

This is just a silly sketch that I found:

Much ado about nothing

How to make Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy A LOT shorter:



"Well that was incredibly easy!"
"Yes it was."
"Can you imagine what it would have been like if we had walked the entire way?"
"Don't be silly!"
"One of us might have died!"
"Hahahahahaha!"

Singing in the rain

What if George Lucas decided to make a re-mastered version of the classic Singin' in the Rain and add a very personal touch of his own in passing? Check this out to find out:



For the record, Debbie Reynolds has a real connexion with Star Wars because she's Carrie Fisher's mom, who played Princess Leia in Episodes IV to VI.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: a case study for translation studies

Take this interrogation scene from Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind, opposing Roy Neary (Richard Dreyfuss) to Claude Lacombe (François Truffaut) and David Laughlin (Bob Balaban).



Now, how does the French dubbed version get away with this scene? I mean, how is the translator going to conceal a translation? Watch this excerpt from the French DVD version of the movie, with the original script as subtitles:

CLOSENC7
Uploaded by sergele1

Yep, they simply cut off some lines, paraphrased or added script material… This scene could be a case study in translation studies, especially since the DVD-version adaptators had to deal with the fact that Truffaut was dead and obviously not available to dub himself, but still, they kept what he recorded back then.