Tribute to John McClane

Listen to this nice song praising John McClane (Bruce Willis), the hero of the Die Hard series:

"Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!"

Even James Bond should know he shouldn't mess with one of Chuck Norris's best friends: John McClane…

Home Alone alternate endings!

What happens if we apply the alternate ending technique to Home Alone? Well, something like this:

"Where did he go?"
"Maybe he commited suicide…" --> I love Marvin!

Now, what if Kevin underestimated the power of a a toilet full of petrol?



This reminds me of the Ocean's Eleven alternate ending:

Fucking alternate endings

It seems that no reader likes alternate endings (because blog entries featuring them are never commented on), but I like them, so here's another twisted version of Die Hard:

…

But wait! Maybe there are some people among you who've never seen the film. Here's the fucking short version:



(It reminds me of that fucking short version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; I once told you about it.)

And there comes the alternate ending:



Toooooooo baaaaaaaaaad!

And those two, but about Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace:



Ouch!



All right, this would have ruined the other five movies — for Anakin is the main character…

Ultimate mayhem

What happens if the bomb you're about to use is in fact more powerful than what you thought? Here's an example:



Beautiful crossover! Poor George really fucked up this time.

John McClane fears nobody

Our friend from the Editing Room has come up with two other alternate endings for Die Hard:

It's probably some stock broker got depressed…

And another, this time a crossover with Terminator and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie:

Casey Jones: Ooops!!

Die Harder

What if some genius had the idea of giving a twisted ending to all of the Die Hard movies??

Die Hard I



Die Hard II



Apparently, John McClane rose from the dead:

Die Hard III



Arnie "Governator" Schwarzie killed Zeus!

And this time, will McClane be lucky to get rid of his opponent?

Die Hard IV



Apparently John McClane likes being butchered…

Some other alternate endings

Here's a first one about V for Vendetta, a movie that I really enjoyed watching this summer, as it is about totalitarism and rebellion against it. (Doesn't it remind you of a certain Star Wars saga?)



(This was in fact mixed with shots from Scary Movie and Die Hard With a Vengeance.)

By the way, here's the story in a nutshell (and for once, it is not a Five Second Movie)



I don't remember if I've already shown you this one about Independence Day. If it is the case, watch it once more:



Hahahahaha!!

Alternate endings are back!

I told in another post that YouTube had just deleted several alternate endings that I wanted to show you. Well the genius whose page got deleted has reappeared, so that I have been able to correct the links on 1 October's blog entry, and that I'm going to show you the alternate endings I was talking about.

– Bean: the Movie:



By the way, here's the 5 second version:



– Robert Zemeckis' Contact:



Haha!!

– The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King:



– Borat:



(with a bit of Men in Black)

– Titanic:



– Forrest Gump:



– Shawshank Redemption (I love this movie!):



– Die Hard:



– Honey I shrank the kids:



and this one:

Alternate Endings: Back to the Future Trilogy

Alternate ending to Back to the Futue:



I think that the bit when we see the living room changing comes from a movie about time alteration called Frequency

Alternate ending to Back to the Future II:



Note that "Idiot" was translated by "Crétin" in the French version.

This one was a crossover between the said movie and the end of Die Hard I.

Alternate ending to Back to the Future III:



This was a crossover between BTTF III and Face-Off, with John Travolta and Nicolas Cage.

I'm gonna post other alternate endings to famous movies in the next couple of days. Stay tunned!

PS. If you are worried about Marty McFly stuck in the DeLorean time machine, watch this, it'll show you the actual ending. (Well, it's not the very end of the movie, but still.)



I always wondered why Marty had to put his hat on. And also why he has to grab the steering wheel even though the car is on a railway… Mystery…

I admit I'm sad for that poor DeLorean who felt it was gonna die and decided to explode just before the train hits it. (Freeze at 00:58)

And why did the train never stop after the accident, by the way?

Bonus: there's something tricky about the locomotive's shadow as it approaches. Can you spot it?

PLEASE DROP A COMMENT!

When Johnny Comes Marching Home

I was telling you about Die Hard with a Vengence yesterday. In this movie when the bad guy, Simon (not me, but Simon Gruber, a German vilain Jeremy Irons), is robbing the Federal Reserve building in New York, we can hear a tune called "When Johnny Comes Marching Home", which appears to be quite popular in America. But what is it. Read this:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"When Johnny Comes Marching Home" (sometimes "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again") is a popular song of the American Civil War that expressed people's longing for the return of their friends and relatives who were fighting in the war.

Here's an old version in an antique movie, Stalag 17.



These are the lyrics I found on the Wikipedia page:

When Johnny comes marching home again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give him a hearty welcome then
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The men will cheer and the boys will shout
The ladies they will all turn out
And we'll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home.
The old church bell will peal with joy
Hurrah! Hurrah!
To welcome home our darling boy,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The village lads and lassies say
With roses they will strew the way,
And we'll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home.
Get ready for the Jubilee,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give the hero three times three,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The laurel wreath is ready now
To place upon his loyal brow
And we'll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home.
Let love and friendship on that day,
Hurrah, hurrah!
Their choicest pleasures then display,
Hurrah, hurrah!
And let each one perform some part,
To fill with joy the warrior's heart,
And we'll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home

And, of course, it appears in many other films, such as Antz. And in parodies, like this one I found on YouTube:



Awesome, isn't it? If Howard Shore hadn't been hired to write the soundtrack, this would had fitted perfecly. Even if a "real-world" tune would have looked strange…

"Die Hard With a Vengence": 4 Gallons of Water Can Save Your Life

I watched this film about 50 times, but I still can't figure out how they solve this math problem… Can you?



John McClane (Bruce Willis) and Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) are far too intelligent. Besides, they couldn't die: the end of the movie was an hour away… Silly, I know.