"You did well, Anakin…"

I know this blog has suffered some delay due to the exams, but I've been slowly filling the gaps for a week. Unfortunately, I'm going on holyday tomorrow, so I won't be able to post any message on this blog until 15 July.

By the way, we got the results of our exams. Here's what the "official" (i.e. a simple black and white A4-sheet) document states:
– Histoire du Moyen Âge : 16/20
– Introduction générale à la philosophie : 18/20
– Sciences religieuses : 14/20
– Stylistique et maîtrise de la langue anglaise : 18/20
– Stylistique et maîtrise de la langue néerlandaise : 15/20
– Linguistique anglaise : 17/20
– Linguistique néerlandaise : 15/20
– Histoire des littératures et des civilisations anglophones : 18/20
– Histoire des littératures et des civilisations néerlandophones : 18/20
– Analyse de textes anglophones : 17/20
– Analyse de textes néerlandophones : 17/20
Résultat : la Plus Grande Distinction
Moyenne : 16,64/20

Yeah! With the greatest fulfilment! That's SO rare to get that! Needless to say that I'm extremely happy!

The Barraki Strike Back

We can reasonably assume that this product's designers didn't think of the resemblance between Barraki ("les monstres des profondeurs") and our Walloon barakî ("les gros paumés des villes"), whose British counterparts are "chavs", and American "rednecks". But also Flemish "Johnny's and Marina's", by the way.

Rescue Me: "He's playing for the other team!"

Here's another fragment from the third series. The probie, Mike, isn't really sure about his sexual orientation, but in the third series, he lives with a man who wants him to publicly announce that he's gay. That's why the boyfriend goes to the fire station where he works to reveal that Mike is gay and that he wants to go to another fire station, because he's fed up with being called "probie" and treated like a rookie. Unfortunately, the guy talks to Garrity, who is — need I tell you? — is the dumb one in the firefighters team. He'll do a mess of things, as usual.



Lou's reaction is awesome, Franco's too. The meeting afterwards mirrors the daily routine of the firefighters that are friends with the hero, Tommy. And I haven't told you about his family, yet. There's a lot to say about them, e.g. the father, an old impotent firefighter who hates his family…

Rescue Me: Buttons

Rescue Me is a series I'm currently watching on BeTV — in fact, they're going to broadcast the last episode of the third season next week. Basically, it's a post-9/11 series about a group of firefighters with the New York City Fire Department. Among them, Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary — yeah, with 1 "n") and a bunch of friends including the dumb one (Sean Garrity), the probie — probationary firefighter (Mike Silletti), the philosopher (Lou)… and so on.

In the following extract, coming from the third series, an accident between a car and a horse open sleigh has just happened.



Silly, wasn't it?

My Dutch Proficiency Exam (2): Oral Part

My oral exam was to take place at 4 p.m., but I took the bus at 3 o'clock, because I don't trust the T.E.C. (Transports en commun, i.e. the Walloon bus system). I had a talk with some friends who were waiting for their turn, but also with those who had just seen today's juges: Ms Evie Tops (our Proficiency teacher, who by the way wrote a PhD about the different ways of pronouncing the sound "r" in Flanders) and Mr Luk Van Mensel (who gave us pronunciation practise during the second term).

Basically, we had to be able to talk about issues discussed in the syllabus, e.g. the media in Flanders and in the Netherlands. It wasn't difficult.

The exam was pretty easy. I entered the classroom at 4 o'clock (sharp) and they made me comfortable. They asked me a couple of questions about my portfolio (a dossier we all had to made up, consisting of newsarticles, etc. and the account of things that we had done in order to be more familiar with the Dutch language outside the classroom; I had a 200+ pages portfolio, due to the Internet articles and so on). I talked about Belgian politics and stadsdichters (a kind op poet laureate for a big city such as Antwerp), too. I talked about a lot of things, but I can't remember precisely.

At the end of the exam, they told me it was good (except for a few grammatical mistakes which will disappear in the long term) and I just have to practise in order to correct my pronunciation (word stress level).

My Dutch Proficiency Exam (1): Written Part

Today's exam was about writing skills, spelling, listening and reading comprehension. Ms Laurence Mettewie was in charge of it (even if she didn't taught us the course) and was helped by Ms Ann-Lien Lievens.

We started with the listening comprehension, a test that I feared. I had good reasons for being afraid: at the end of the first semester, our Dutch Proficiency teacher, Evie Tops, gave us the opportunity to take last year's listening comprehension exam. I got 6/8 for a Flemish fragment from Het journaal (Flemish news), but I only got 2/10 for an extract from the Dutch NOS-journaal. I had to pay extra attention to it. That is the reason why I had been watching Dutch programmes throughout the whole second semester. I admit that I wasn't so fond of the Dutch accent (even though I can spoof it), but I forced myself and then I think I got used to it.

But this time would be different. We had 2 Dutch and 1 Flemish fragments. What a kerfuffle! We listened to it three times, and it wasn't really difficult to understand the message, but as to the subtleties of that long train of speech… The Dutch speak too fast. And I don't say that because I live in a region where we usually speak slower (as is the case of South Limburg, I think), but because they really do! THEY SPEAK TOO FAST! And that is the reason why I didn't know which answer I had to choose in that evil MCQ… We were provided with options that were just as good as any other… All the words were said in the report… "Which one(s) must I pick?" I thought. It was painful for me, but I had to choose at random. I had one or two chances out of five to pick the good answer…

I just hope that this listening comprehension won't ruin my overal exam: if, for any of the parts of the exam, we had a mark lower than 8/20, we had that mark for the whole Proficiency exam. A big threat, I can assure you… Especially if you think that you did quite well the rest of the exam… I really hope I got 9/20 at least, so that I didn't mess up with that exam. I would be really upset.

Yeah, the rest of the exam was pretty easy:

– the vocabulary test (2000+ words to study, and we were asked on two dozens of them, two of which weren't even in our books!…)
– the reading comprehension wasn't that tough
– the spelling test was tricky but I think I have 85% of good answers
– finally, the writing exam was made up of two main questions — writing an email on basis of the response to that email (silly) and writing a short essay on superstitions.

It was 5.30 p.m. when I got out of the lecture room. I had a little chat with some friends, then I got back to my digs. I had stuff to study for tomorrow's oral exam.

Supergran Is Back

In a previous post, I told you about one of my favourite series ever: Supergran, about a granny struck by a ray which made her extremely powerful, allowing her to tackle crime in the fictional town of Chiselton, as we can see it in the opening credits.



Someone was brave enough to post the closing titles on YouTube, with the full version of the theme tune by the famous British singer Billy Connolly. Enjoy!

Stand back Superman, Iceman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin too,
Don't wanna cause a ruckus with B.A. Baracus have I got a match for you,
She makes them look like a bunch of fairies, she's got more bottle than United Dairies,
Hang about, look out for Supergran.

You can stick your heroes, your Robert De Niroes, your Al Pacinoes too,
Lex Galone [Comment: no trace of him on the Internet; that must be a joke] is just another phoney, she couldn't lace her shoes,
After her they're all big girls' blouses, got more front than a row of houses,
Hang about, look out for Supergran.

She's a serious granny, a serious granny,
She'll do the things that you never saw your granny do…

(Scunner Campbell):
Is there nothing that she cannot do?

Hang about, look out for Supergran.

Wowser

My childhood is rooted in cartoons, as you already know it. Wowser was one of the many series I grew up with. Unfortunately, they (RTBF) broadcast it only once round 1991-1992. I only have one episode left on a tape, and I admit I occasionally watch it. (Nothing to be ashamed of.) In French, it's called Cubitus; the character was created by Dupa (aka the late Jean Dupanloup). I found the credits, a song sung by the French dubbing comedian and actor Jacques Balutin, most known for dubbing Starsky in Starsky & Hutch, but also Jim Varney in the Ernest series. (And note that Cubitus's voice was that of Pierre Tornade, who was also Obelix's voice.) I hope you enjoy it. If some of you remember this cartoon, please please tell me. I wanna know if I'm not the only one who watched this programme.



And here's the Dutch version, Dommel:



Note that the music is different. Here are the lyrics:

Kijk daar heb je Semafoor,
met z'n vriendje Dommel
Samen gaan ze het leven door,
en maken heel wat rommel
Dommel is rond, hij eet heel graag,
snoepjes, ijs en botten
Hij doet wat Semafoor hem vraagt,
en laat zich soms bedotten
Hier is Dommel, gekke hond
Heel dik, wit en rond
Vrolijk, lief en trouw
Hij heeft een hart van goud
Dommel is verbaasd
Als zijn baas weer iets uitvindt,
waar hij het nut niet van ziet
Dommel heeft soms haast
Als ie moet helpen,
en hij het liefst eten zou
Dommel lacht heel gauw
Houdt van het leven,
en hij kent zelden verdriet
Dommel is heel trouw
Je kunt op hem bouwen
Hij heeft... een hart van goud

And oh yeah, the cartoon was made in Japan, hence the unusual visuals.

A Glimpse On Belgian Politics

Today, I went to vote for thee general elections. Not only because I had to (voting is compulsory in Belgium), but because I think it is necessary that one can directly express his/her choice as to those who are going to rule the country. (Or not, if you vote for the losers…) I'm not going to talk about politics here, but I just wanted to show you this video, coming from a show broadcast last Friday, at the end of which the presidents of the four main democratic parties in Wallonia had to present another president with something. Here's what it looks like:



What an debate. I very much appreciated Elio Di Rupo's comment on Didier Reynders's comment:

Joëlle Milquet:
Un petit kit de super magicien, puisque je pense que Didier Reynders, en termes d'illusionnisme, a beaucoup de talent : il est parvenu à nous dire que 883 millions — excusez-moi, je le dis quand même — ce n'était pas grand-chose ; il est parvenu à essayer de dire qu'on était scotché au PS alors que ça fait 8 ans qu'il l'est, et il est presque parvenu à faire croire qu'il était dans l'opposition en sortant de son propre gouvernement, et donc je trouve qu'il y a tout le mode d'emploi, et j'espère qu'il en fera bon usage en attendant les élections…

Didier Reynders:
Toutes les couleurs y sont, et comme on ne devrait pas être agressif ce soir — monsieur le demandait — je vais effectivement l'utiliser ; quand j'en aurai bien compris les règles et le fonctionnement, je l'offrirai au nouveau Collège de Charleroi.

Johanne Montay:
À vous M. Di Rupo, votre cadeau.

Elio Di Rupo:
Ben écoutez, voilà, j'ai appris il y a quelques heures que je devais offrir un cadeau, et donc — et vous l'avez vu, son dernier mot a encore été désobligeant — et donc j'ai voulu remettre à M. Reynders quelques produits qui rendent extrêmement calme, pour rester zen, zen et garder son sang froid, donc je le remets bien volontiers…

Didier Reynders:
Oh mais c'est avec plaisir… [Comment: Mon cul !]

Elio Di Rupo:
… deux trois produits homéopathiques, quelques tisanes et tout ça ; et pour mes collègues…

(…)

Jean-Michel Javaux:
— On s'en fout de mon cadeau, ou quoi ?

My "Analysis of English Texts" Exam

Today the "Analyse de textes anglophones I" exam took place. Due a change of venue, we had to go to a lecture room in the Law Faculty. Some of us came in completely wet, due to a shower — it was pouring outside; I had arrived just before it started. The second-year studens were taking their exams at the same time, in the same lecture room, so that we were sit in such a way that we didn't have a fellow student in front of us.

The exam started at 9.00 a.m. when we all got the exam sheets. Our professor, Dirk Delabastita was helped by Ruth. Since this was an open-book exam, we had the syllabus, the theory, and the two books we had to read (i.e. Dracula by Bram Stoker) at our disposal.

The exam consisted in a reletively short list of questions, but we had to give fairly lengthy answers.

First question: recognizing fragments (i.e. give the title and the author), and situate the extract in the story. Thanks to the lay out and the lettertype of the fragments, it was quite (too) easy to find out where they came from, then to contextualize them briefly. I only fear I wrote too much.

Second question: we had to link these fragments to 6 different concepts that we came across in the theory. It wasn't so clear at first, but I think I managed to do it correctly, with a few sentences to explain my choice.

Third question: on basis of an extract from The Shawl by Cynthia Ozick, we had to underline the lines where the technique of external or internal narration was used, and then briefly explain why we did so and where there is place for doubt.

Fourth question: writing an essay comparing It Happened So Quickly by Enid Blyton and The Story-Teller by Saki. Those two stories weren't that difficult; just finding what was relevant to compare in those two stories forced me to write a draft of my answer to the question — which had to have the shape of an essay.

All that took me roughly three hours, plus another 30 minutes to re-read carefully and to add here and there several words and to correct a few spelling mistakes. (And I realized later that I wrote "biaised" instead of "biased". Fool me.) And notice that we didn't get a single question about Dracula…

I was quite exhausted when I gave my exam to Ruth. And I was hungry. When I got out of the lecture room, I had a little talk with some friends, and then I walked to my dad's car. We drove back to the Carmel (where I live) to take some stuff (e.g. clothes, books) home. In fact, I had to go back to Aubel because I had to go and vote tomorrow. At least, I had a proper meal tonight! (Instead of an fryed sausage with a small quantity of rice…) I talked a lot with my parents and my brother, about the exams and many facts in the news, mostly everything that had something to do with the federal elections.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Fart

As long as we're talking about farting parodies, why not watch this one?



Brilliant!

Oh, and there's a second one:

Another Version of Fart Wars

There's a sound which comes from this scene of Dumb and Dumber, when Lama Su sits down. Too silly. I want more!

They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

I'm not fond of techno music or what do you call it, but this is an exception, because it's a parody…



Legolas: They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

Gollum: What did you say?

Celeborn: Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him.

Legolas: A Balrog of Morgoth.

Gollum: What did you say?

Gollum: Stupid fat Hobbit!

The Empire Farts Back

Here's another gem:



It's just perfect! Oh, and by the way, why don't you watch this:



There are less farts, but at least you get to see one of the most famous scenes of Star Wars - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, with here Mark Hamill as Luke and Frank Oz as Yoda.

My Dutch Grammar Exam…

Today, big day for Dutch Grammar, or Taalkunde, as we call it. It was to take place at 2 pm. We entered the lecture room where the exam sheets had been carefully laid, so that there were at least two seats between each student. Mrs Mettewie (who gives Taalkunde was the only teacher present, Mrs Hendrix being giving class in Maastricht at the same time.

The first part consisted of a bunch of MCQs with options ranging from really simple to really difficult, but I think I managed to find 70% of good answers. Then, we had to define or explain concepts from the course, which is basically a summary of the book De 11 hoofdstukken van de zin, written by Hans Bennis (see picture on the left). This book, as you can see it on the left, has got the most terrible cover ever printed… Maybe Bennis painted it. Painting and Grammar are two separate disciplins, aren't they? Anyway, the book is crappy, full of things that seem useless for us students, who just want to be able to communicate in the (Dutch in the present case) language we learn, not studying concepts that we'll eventually forget. (I already have.)

Anyway.

The second part was about testing our knowledge of the real grammar, e.g. use of modal verbs, etc. Sometimes, it was really difficult to chose the good nuance among the options, or to determinate if a given sentence was grammatically correct.

Now, it's behind my back. I can now work on Analyse de textes anglais I.

To Be Continued =>>>

Fart Wars — Episode I: The Farting Menace

I don't think I have to explain. It's quite explicit…



It's so funny! The farting sounds do correspond with the facial expressions and movements!

"Give Me Back My Damn Cereal!!!"

One of my subscriptions on YouTube is guywiththeglasses. He's responsible for some of the "[Film] in 5 seconds" that are featured in my "Favourite Movies" section on the left of this blog. Now, he decided to do this sketch.



I think you underestimated my powers!

I guess he was quite upset when he discovered that his favourite cereals had underwent a change…

My Religious Sciences Exam…

Normally, I should have taken the Religious Sciences exam (an oral one in front of Father Jean-Pierre Laurent, whose picture stands on the left), but I haven't. The reason is that throughout the year, we could assemble a "dossier" with essays about an analysis of some biblical text or obscure writing. It was said that it was very difficult to pass for this dossier, but I managed to get 14/20. What a relief!

It means that I didn't have to take the oral exam, since the students who got more than 12/20 for their dossiers were free to take the exam or not. I chose for the first option, because I wanted to have as much time as possible to prepare for my Dutch Grammar exam, on 4 June.

I'm glad I didn't have to study the course, because it was really badly lectured: he was speaking at ludicrous speed and, even though I'm able to transcribe quite quickly, I couldn't get the whole point of what he was saying. I had to type it — if not, it would have been a right kerfuffle to study my lecture notes… Here's an extract (in French, because it's one of the three courses we have to attend in the common programme):

Dans le texte majeur Problèmes de linguistique générale, Emile Benviniste aborde un tournant dans la linguistique. Dans l’extrait, il parle du système des signes dans une langue. Il parle de la sémiotique pour distinguer le fait que la langue est avant tout composée de si-gnes.
« Qui dit “sémiotique” dit “intra-linguistique”. Être distinctif, être significatif, c’est la même chose » → Ce qui fait le signe est ce qui le distingue d’un autre (e.g. lampe – rampe : il y a une unité distinctive reprenant ces deux différents phonèmes pour repérer des mots de sens différent. Les signes sont composés de phonèmes qui servent à différencier des mots → Distinctif = significatif.
3 CONSEQUENCES de ce principe :
1. « À aucun moment, en sémiotique, on ne s’occupe de la relation du signe avec les choses dénotées, ni des RAPPORTS ENTRE LA LANGUE ET LE MONDE » → Quand on fait de l’intra-linguistique, on ne s’occupe pas du rapport entre la langue et le monde, de la relation du signe et des choses.
2. « Le signe a toujours et seulement une valeur générique et conceptuelle » → On parle abstraitement, conceptuellement. « Il [le signe] n’admet donc pas de si-gnifié particulier ou occasionnel ; tout ce qui est individuel est ex-clu. »
3. « Les oppositions sémiotiques sont de type binaire » → On trouve toujours de la binarité (e.g. voir si quelque chose est présent ou non, comme masculin – féminin, sin-gulier – pluriel…).
⇒ Conséquence du travail sémiotique sur la langue : « Tout ce qui précède a trait à la structure ou aux relations du signe. Mais qu’en est-il de la phrase ? Qu’en est-il de la fonction communicative de la langue ? Après tout, c’est ainsi que nous communiquons, par des phrases, même tronquées, embryonnai-res, incomplètes, mais toujours par des phrases. C’est ici, dans notre ana-lyse, un point crucial.» → La phrase est un grand signe → On peut l’analyser de ma-nière binaire. Mais quand on regarde une phrase, on n’est plus dans la sémiotique.
« Le signe et la phrase sont deux mondes distincts et ils appellent des descriptions distinctes. Nous instaurons dans la langue une division fonda-mentale, toute différente de celle que Saussure a tentée entre langue et parole. Il nous semble qu’on doit tracer à travers la langue entière une ligne qui départage deux espèces et deux domaines du sens et de la forme. » → Deux manières d’être pour une langue : sémiotique et sémantique.
Pour SAUSSURE, il existe une distinction entre la langue et la parole : la LANGUE est un système de signes, un système abstrait et social : la PAROLE est la réalisation individuelle de la langue, on passe de l’abstrait au concret. De la sorte, Saussure ne fait pas de différence entre sémiotique et sémantique.
« Nous n’avons pu trouver de meilleurs [termes de “sémiotique” et “séman-tique”] pour définir les deux modalités fondamentales de la fonction lin-guistique, celle de signifier, pour la sémiotique, celle de communiquer, pour la sémantique. » → Sémiotique = signes ; Sémantique = voir comment communiquer
« La notion de sémantique nous introduit au domaine de la langue en em-ploi et en action ; nous voyons cette fois dans la langue et sa fonction de médiatrice entre l’homme et l’homme, entre l’homme et le monde, entre l’esprit et les choses, transmettant l’information. » → On agit sur quelqu’un d’autre en parlant, on est un médiateur agissant.
« L’expression sémantique par excellence est la phrase » → L’intenté, c’est ce que le locuteur veut dire, l’actualisation linguistique de sa pensée. « La sémantique ré-sulte d’une activité du locuteur qui met en action la langue ». → Mobiliser : quand on fait un discours, on mobilise les éléments de la langue pour la mettre à son service personnel et agir sur le monde, advenir comme sujet, agir.
« Le signe sémiotique existe en soi, fonde la réalité de la langue ; mais il ne comporte pas d’applications particulières ; la phrase, expression du sémantique, n’est que particulière. » Quand on utilise la langue, on est relié aux cho-ses hors de la langue grâce à celle-ci. La situation est différente à chaque fois, le locuteur est unique. Importance de l’acte d’énonciation de la langue.

Well, if the way of saying it is SO important to him, why did he talk for 20 minutes about useless gibberish, instead of merely telling us: You have to be careful when you write something. OK. I don't understand those kind of teachers…

A Short History of the World

After a look on the status of our universe, let's have a look on our world:



What took you so long?

Look how the monkey already looks like Homer… Or, maybe the opposite.

The T-Rex' screem comes from Jurassic Park.

What If…?

What if it were really like this:



Waaaaaaaaaaaaw!

I bet it's exactly like that. Except for the aliens with green tentacules and a helmet…