Bill Shaky

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson) meets William Shakespeare (Hugh Laurie), telling him he's most unsatisfied with the pace of the action in Hamlet



Please also watch this fake trailer for a film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Hamlet — as he did in a mise en abyme in Last Action Hero.



Today's Uncyclopedia featured article: Hamlet.

Leap Day (aka 'bissextile day')

Since today is 29 February, I thought it would be a good opportunity to write a few words about this day that only occurs once every four years (except on century years that aren't divisible by 400, e.g. 1700 and 2100). Here's the explanation found on Wikipedia:

Although the modern calendar counts a year as 365 days, a complete revolution around the sun takes approximately 365 days and 6 hours. Every four years, an extra twenty-four hours have accumulated, so one extra day is added to that calendar to keep the count coordinated with the sun's apparent position. (…) A leap day is more likely to fall on a Monday than on a Sunday. This is because the Gregorian calendar repeats itself every 400 years, which is exactly 20871 weeks including 97 leap days. Over this period February 29 falls thirteen times on a Sunday, Tuesday or Thursday; fourteen times on a Friday or Saturday; and fifteen times on a Monday or Wednesday.

Here's the most notable fact that happened exactly four years ago (from Wikipedia):

76th Academy Awards: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King wins Best Picture and Director awards and nine others for a total of 11 Academy Awards, a tie for the most ever won by a single film, and the largest sweep ever for a single film, having received 11 nominations. Acting honors were as follows: Best Actor: Sean Penn for Mystic River, Best Actress: Charlize Theron for Monster, Best Supporting Actor: Tim Robbins for Mystic River, Best Supporting Actress: Renée Zellweger for Cold Mountain. Sources: (Newsday) (Box Office Mojo) (IMDB)

Fours years have passed! Time flies, as you can see. I can remember this ceremony perfectly, for it was the last one I saw on telly, because after that BeTV refused to broadcast it… (F*ckers.) Anyway, I was very happy for Peter Jackson and his crew, because all of them had done a terrific job with this marvelous The Lord of the Rings trilogy. About one year ago, I posted the introductory spot of the ceremony, which is basically a spoof on all the successful movies of 2003:

I spotted references to (in order of appearance) Last Action Hero, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The Terminator, Master and Commander, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mystic River, Seabiscuit, Finding Nemo, Cold Mountain, Monster, Something's Gotta Give, Lost in Translation and The Last Samurai. Could you find more?

While looking up for this video, I found one more fine example of Brokeback Mountain-inspired trailer, this time focusing on the "love relationship" bewteen Billy Crystal and the late Jack Palance. Most bits come from City Slickers and City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold.

Notice that the boy you see at 01:03 and at the end is actually the eleven-year-old Jake Gyllenhaal, who starred in Brokeback Mountain with the late Heath Ledger!

News From The Grave

On the news, I heard today that two celebrities had left us.

1) Ingmar Bergman, the Swedish director. What I knew about him was: "His films are long, boring, with characters that whisper all the time; you always hear the wind and/or a clock". Nothing that could appeal a 19-year-old boy from Belgium who's addicted to Star Wars, parodies and comedies. I also knew he had directed a film called The Seventh Seal. Why? Simply because a bit of it is shown in the terrific Last Action Hero, by John McTiernan, with Arnold "Not-Yet-Gouvernator" Schwarzenegger.

In this movie, a magic golden ticket allows a boy to enter another world. This boy, Danny, accidentally enters the world of his hero, Jack Slater (played by Arnie). Later in the movie, after several events, be magic tickets gets lost and lands in front of some obscure cinema (or "theater", for the action takes place in the USA) where they show The Seventh Seal by Bergman. Suddenly, Death (Sir Ian McKellen — even though he wasn't playing in Bergman's film) tears the screen with help of his scathe [yeah! I managed to use that rare word!] and walks in the streets of New York… Death slightly touches a police officer busy eating a donut, and this guy starts coughing and coughing — and probably dies of it, but we don't see it. (What a shame!)


2) Michel Serrault, the French actor. I admit I didn't watched a lot of films in which he has a role, but I definitely loved his part in Le Viager, by Pierre Tchernia. This is a movie that basically shows the evolution of the French society between 1930 and 1970. (And that is the reason why it is shown in several schools. True, true.) What can I say about this film from 1972? Unfortunately, there's no extract coming from it to be found on YouTube.

The story starts in 1930 with this poor Monsieur Martinet (Michel Serrault), who's gonna turn 60 and feels sick. That's why he goes to the doctor's: Docteur Léon Galipeau (Michel Galabru). This doc tells Martinet he's old and his heart is just tired of a long life. Galipeau advises him to retire, for he only has two years left before dying, he thinks. Martinet says he owns a house in Saint-Tropez, "a village with many fishers".

At that moment, Galipeau's face turns into a big smile: he sees the opportunity of a great bargain. He asks Martinet to sell his house to him and his family by using the viager (i.e. reverse [or lifetime] mortgage) system. It consists of paying each year a amount of money to the owner, until he/she dies. This amount of money is linked (or "indexed") to the price of some kind of goods in the stock exchange; in this case: aluminum. Galipeau thinks he's not gonna pay a lot: "Martinet va mourir bientôt", he thinks.

Galipeau and his family (his wife, his brother, his sister-in-law and their new-born son: Noël — because he's born on Christmas), visit Martinet's house in Saint-Tropez. It's an idyllic place, with a big garden and a beautiful view on the sea.

Years pass by, but Martinet won't die! He even gets better and better, taking care of his house, his dog (Kiki) and his garden. He also has a lot of social contacts and even helps the postman in his 22-km ride!

Years pass by, and the Second World War approaches, and eventually bursts out. Galipeau used to say: "C'est qui ça, Hitler ? Un petit peintre en bâtiment… (…) Le fascisme, c'est un feu de paille ! (…) Faites-moi confiance. Vous allez voir : dans deux ans, on va rire !" (Next image: the bombings on Paris!!!)

What's funny in this movie is that Galipeau always keeps predicting things that won't happen. Whenever he says "Faites-moi confiance", the audience is sure he's wrong.

Years pass by, and the War is over. Meanwhile the Galipeaus had unsuccessfully tried to make of Martinet a traitor, but he eventually gets given a medal!

Years pass by, and the aluminum gets more and more expensive…

Years pass by, and the Galipeaus lose the grandpa, then the sister-in-law, then the brother (who, meanwhile, also tried to kill Martinet), then the doc's wife.

Years pass by, and Noël gets older. He's grown into a criminal and is now convicted with theft. Fortunately, Martinet, in a tearsome testimony, manages to get Noël freed. Galipeau dies of heart attack.

Noël is now 40 and is fed up with this viager who won't die. His whole family is dead, while Martinet is still alive. He plans to kill him on the day of Martinet's 100th birthday, covered by the noise of fireworks. Noël drives the car in which all the rockets and other fireworks item lie, but suddenly the car cigar lighter pops out of its plug and the car turns into a fireball… When the last fireworks device explodes (in fact: one of the car's lights) in the skies, Martinet says to his 8th dog: "Et voilà Kiki : c'était le bouquet !"

That was the story.

In my opinion, this film is the 3rd best French movie of all time. The second best is Gérard Oury's La Grande Vadrouille with Louis De Funès and Bourvil; the best one ever is definitely Les Trois Frères, by and with Les Inconnus. But that's another story.

Arnie is Hamlet!!!

This is terrific! If only we had movies like that, instead of those boring versions! Scene taken from Last Action Hero.

And because I really love the French version, here it is: