The Nostalgia Critic speaks the truth

The Nostalgia Critic (aka thatguywiththeglasses) analyses Space Jam:



(…) little assistant played by Wayne Knight, who—I was surprised to find out—is not a cartoon character.

When I think of space jam, I think of that stuff they used inSpaceballs to blackout the radar.

They just beat the shit out of Granny! They actually tackled, punched and kicked an innocent old lady who never hurt anyone in her life! … Can I see it again? [BAM!] One more time. [BAM!] Oh my god, I could watch that for ever… [BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!] But unfortunaltely, the movie continues…

GOD THIS MOVIE SUCKS!

I have to re-watch this movie someday…

Kingpin

Yesterday the channel BeTV broadcast a film I watch approximately seven years ago: Kingpin. I had really vague memories about it, but I remembered it was really funny—being directed by the Farelli Brothers, with talented actors such as Woody Harrelson, Bill Murray and Randy Quaid. All I knew from the plot was that it was a rivality between two bowling players.

So, we watched that film yesterday. Unfortunately, we discovered from the first lines of dialogue that it was the French-Canadian version! (We knew it not only from the names, pronounced in the American way, but also from the unfamiliar voices—I'm interested in voices, as you know). However, I seized the opportunity to look at the linguistic characteristics of a French-Canadian dubbing. All I can say is that I don't like it at all—and basically that's why both Canadian and French versions normally exist: the way of speaking (and I'm not even talking of pronuncing) is hugely different. French-Canadians accept translations that we would normally ban in France, because they are considered as "false friends" or "deceptive cognates". But on the other hand, and surprisingly enough, Canadians use terms like "abat" where the French would use English words, in this case: strike.

Enough of this.

My point was to tell you about the story and show you a scene from it. Here goes the basic plot (sorry, but it won't seem funny at all in the way I tell it):

Roy Munson (played by Woody Harrelson) had a gift for playing bowling. He practiced this game for years. When he was 21, his father let him go and live his dream of becoming a great bowling champion. Unfortunetely, his road crossed that of Ern Mc Cracken (played by Bill Murray), nicknamed Big Ern, who was a good bowling player, but not already known in that time. The later offered Munson to crook guys in a bowling. Unfortunately, the guys they crooked became mad at them, and Big Ern let the guys beat Munson, while he escaped. The guys put Roy's right hand in the device that brings the bowl back after you've hit the pins, and Roy shouts…

17 years later, Roy Munson has become a complete loser. And "to turn Munson" has become a popular phrase meaning, well, basically, "to become a loser". He has a pair of hooks instead of his right hand (which he can cover with a rubber prostetic hand), he's drinking whisky all the time, lives in a crappy flat whose landlord is an ugly old cow, and—ultimate sign that he's a loser—he's got a combover. One day, he meets Ichmael (Randy Quaid) at the bowling. Ich plays very well. But Ich was not meant to be there: he's an Amish…

After several events, Roy manages to persuade him to enter a big tournament in Reno, with an prize of $1 million offered to the winner. Roy helps Ich getting better at bowling, and they raise money by playing against other players. They finally arrive in Reno. But Big Ern is also present: since Roy's "accident" 17 years sooner, he had become US champion several times, and got very rich.

The day before the tournament, Ich breaks his left hand (that he plays with), and Roy's going to replace him, forced to play with his right rubber hand.

Roy is lucky: he makes it to the finals; his opponent is Big Ern. Here's an extract from that epic match.



As you can see, Big Ern's got a combover, too. And it's even worse than Roy's. Check this out (it's the last aim, determining whether Roy or Ern wins):



Have you seen that?! That's one of the ugliest combovers I've ever seen in the movie history. Ok, it was on purpose… But it definitely shows you how awful it is to have a combover: if a "combovered" person gets excited or walks in the wind, he'll end up his a floating mass of 1 feet long hair trying to escape from the skull!!! If you know someone in your family that's got a combover, show him this video and maybe he'll realize he's out of his mind to have a haircut like that.

And oh yeah, before I go: I've just written that the combover was used on purpose to show this is a silly hairstyle for losers. In Scary Movie 2, the actor David Cross also has a combover, just to make fun of it. But there are films where the combover is the "natural", or usual haircut of the actor. For instance, in Francis Ford Coppola's Godfather, Bonasera, the undertaker whose excellent words ("I believe in America") start the film, has got a combover. And, surprisingly, it changes in the film: one stripe at the beginning, and two later on… Curious, isn't it? And, of course, silly, isn't it?