Mario: a good Samaritan?

Apparently not:

"Down Right Terrible"

Our friend TheNostalgiaCritic (aka thatguywiththeglasses) came up with a tremendous analysis of a movie called Super Mario Bros., based on the famous video game. Let's hear his message. Below, I listed a series of quotes which I absolutely LOVE! They're brilliant! So watch it to figure it out:



Here are my favourite quotes:

• The two Italian plumbers are played by a Britishman and a Latino. (…) THIS IS GOING TO SUCK ASS!

• (About Dennis Hooper)
  

(he)'s more a mix between Donald Trump and Doctor Evil. Disney's Reluctant Dragon would have been scarier than this.

• This only way to get it back for Mario is to use his balding Italian charm to seduce her. What people would do for a role!

• Most of the performances in this movie are down right terrible. I mean, I love Bob Hoskins, but after time it seems he's caughing up a hair ball. (Bob Hoskins uttering something hardly intelligible). And every time I hear that New York accent, I keep expecting Roger Rabbit to pop up. But by far the biggest award for killing your performance goes to the poopa-scoopa-gooba himself: Dennis Hopper. It's literally like he woke up every morning and just said to himself: "I'm not going to act today! I don't know what I'm going to do, but it's not going to be acting.". In fact, we haven't seen Dennis Hopper in a while, have we? But what do you expect when you're in movies where you're saying lines like:

  BA-BOMB!

• Let's hear that again:

  BA-BOMB!

• And this is why you don't see Dennis Hopper anymore. In fact, if you watch it in slow motion, you can actually pinpoint the moment where his career implodes in on himself. Watch:

  Baaaaaaa-booooooooomb! (Atomic bomb exploding)

• There's no other line in this movie that could destroy an actor's career, so quickly.

A monkey!

• Ok, maybe one other line. In fact, let's see these two lines one back to back:

BA-BOMB! // Monkey!
BA-BOMB! // Monkey!
BA-BOMB! // Monkey!
BA-BOMB! // Monkey! (ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED ACTOR)
BA-BOMB! // Monkey!
BA-BOMB! // Monkey!
BA-BOMB! // Monkey!

There it is. I hope you enjoyed this video and that, like me, you'd like to watch this movie just to see how it actually sucks taken on its whole. Two directors? Maybe because the first one gave up when he realized this would be worse than shit. Curious then that he didn't appear as Alan Smithee, then.