"A long time ago a young filmmaker named George Lucas helped create a parallel dimension in a galaxy far, far away. It's a strange world, bizarre aliens and unbelievable creatures. A world that the sci-fi community will never, ever, forget. Okay the punchline is Howard the Duck… For all the strange things that George Lucas has done, whether it'd been [EDIT: "it be" instead] bad, unnecessary or… just downright racist, nothing compares to the weird cinematic bomb that he made the strange choice of producing Howard the Duck. And if you think Jar Jar Binks was bad… HE STILL IS."
"He sits around, drinking beer, smoking cigars and reading the latest edition of 'Playduck'. You know, A KIDS MOVIE!"
"There's no way IN HELL that I'm going to beat DUCK TITS WOO-HOO! I mean, what is the point? You are making a kids movie starring a cute little ducky and you start out with duck tits? Are you mad? What kind of creepy pervert thought that up?!?" I mean, this movie is rated PG, right? And this is considered PG material? Are you seriously telling me that showing female breasts is wrong but showing Daisy's knockers isn't gonna cause any psychological damage?!? I think that the people who rated this movie had psychological damage!
"The human world of the eighties!"
"I'm just gonna have this on stand-by, I hope you don't mind."
"Help! I'm getting my ass kicked by poultry!"
"The scientist continues to re-enact scenes from The Exorcist."
'I'm now one of the dark overlords of the universe…'
"And your mother sucks cocks in hell! Blalalallalaa!! On top of that he can also use his mental powers to do horrible insane things like assassinate table condiments!"
"The odd thing is that even after people leave he just keeps blowing shut up. I guess he just has a real hate for condiments and kitchen utensils."
"After the scientist changes into Albert Einstein's heroin-addict cousin…"
"Oh yeah, you will believe a duck can rock. I also believe that a duck can blow! This is the worst thing that George Lucas has made since… anything not… Star Wars or Indiana Jones related. AND EVEN THAT HE SLOWLY TRIED TO DESTROY!"
The New Yorker cartoons
6 years ago
5 comments:
loved that :)
that guy with the glasses is actually funny! Luckily, as he says: he remembers it so we don't have to watch these movies...
NB: thx for the script, it is useful at some points! just one question though in the first excerpt, I think he says "whether it be", not "it'd been"; I thought your option was grammatically incorrect but I looked it up and it can be used so I learned smth :)
but still, tell me what u think about that, coz I have to improve my listening comprehension and I can't be 100% sure here...
Yeah, I admit I hesitated when I wrote the transcript; I listened to it carefully and it seems more like "whether it be", as you suggest. I'll edit that. Thanks for your help.
yeah..I showed it to my German housemate and he came to the same ccl: 'whether it be' seems more likely. btw, after that video he began to watch every single review by the nostalgia critic, so I've made him another fan of that guy with the glasses :)
Great! I hope he and you both watched the Batman & Robin review… It's one of the worst movies ever.
I actually haven't! I guess I still have a lot to discover... now is not the time though, I have two exams planned tomorrow, I shouldn't even be here...damnit!
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