Fucking alternate endings

It seems that no reader likes alternate endings (because blog entries featuring them are never commented on), but I like them, so here's another twisted version of Die Hard:

…

But wait! Maybe there are some people among you who've never seen the film. Here's the fucking short version:



(It reminds me of that fucking short version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; I once told you about it.)

And there comes the alternate ending:



Toooooooo baaaaaaaaaad!

And those two, but about Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace:



Ouch!



All right, this would have ruined the other five movies — for Anakin is the main character…